AIBU to say an owner was irresponsible after his dog jumped at my toddler?

[ProudSwan]

I was walking with my young toddler in the park, just a few metres away from a gated playground, when a border terrier belonging to an older group of people suddenly came running straight toward us. Because the dog was large enough that its face was level with my daughter's face and throat—and since I didn't know the dog—I instinctively scooped her up to keep her safe.
The moment she was in my arms, the dog began jumping frantically at her. I firmly told it "no," and the owner finally came over and retrieved it. My daughter was very upset, so I walked away with her crying in my arms. Although she was wearing trousers that prevented the dog from breaking the skin, she was left with many visible red marks on her legs, which she mentioned still hurt later that afternoon when I was changing her.
Shortly after, the owner approached me to "explain." He claimed his dog was actually very friendly and good with children, and that the aggressive behaviour was entirely my fault for picking her up. He explained that his dog "has a thing" about children being held in their parents' arms, and claimed he had been about to warn me not to pick her up. He offered no apology, repeating only that he wanted to justify his dog's actions.
I responded that if his dog couldn't cope with children being held, it shouldn't be off-lead in a public park near a playground. I pointed out that the frightening incident could make her fearful of dogs—noting that a relative had a similar childhood experience that caused their fear of dogs which would be sad because she currently loves dogs.
He dismissed my concerns, arguing that they don't use a lead because incidents like this "don't happen often, maybe once a month." He reiterated that the dog was friendly, that local children regularly pet him, and that the fault lay entirely with me for picking my daughter up. He even mentioned they had looked it up online and decided the dog was showing a "protective instinct towards the child."
At that point, I suggested that if the dog truly was friendly, they could hold it on a lead for a moment so my daughter could see it was safe and had just been "playing" or "protective." The owner refused, saying the rest of his group had already moved on—which only made me question how friendly the dog actually was.
Ultimately, no apology was offered. The owner's stance was that it is a public park and they therefore aren't required to use a lead, that the whole thing was my fault for picking up my child, and that my daughter wasn't really all that hurt or upset and they don't have to have it on a lead and then he left. Was it so unreasonable to expect a dog that is known by their owners to jump at children in arms to be on a lead?

YANBU

He was in the wrong.

(Said as dog owner)

As a dog owner myself - he was completely in the wrong.

He's an asshole. We had the same with one of ours when he was a toddler - 2 off lead German shepherds got right up in has face. DH kicked one of them away.
Irate owner said they just wanted to kiss his face. She was lucky she didn't get a kick in her own face.

I'm a multiple dog owner. Of course his dog should have been on a lead. It was out of control.
All the council owned land in my area has clear signs up, saying that dogs should be on a lead. Sadly not all dog owners take any notice.

Sadly there are now a lot of entitled dog owners about. Since Covid dog ownership seems to have mushroomed and although there are still some lovely ones with considerate owners, there’s a hell of a lot of the other kind and we’re all expected to think they’re wonderful.

I asked a lady to stop her dog going into the children’s splash area and toddler paddling pool the other day. She was very aggressive, saying as it was hot her dog had ‘every right’. When I told her it definitely didn’t and it wasn’t hygienic for one thing she told me I was selfish and children have more germs than dogs 😂

He was in the wrong , picking up your daughter kept her safe

This is why dogs should be on the lead in public spaces.

He is a moron. How are you to know a strange dog is friendly when it runs across a park and directly at your child? Are you supposed to leave your child to get mauled so you can find out if it’s a friendly dog. People like this are stupid and irresponsible, they put good dog owners in a terrible position as it creates fear amongst people in public places.

I say this on every thread (and get yelled at on every thread - even though the advice is correct), but the worst thing you can do in these situations is pick a child (or dog) up. It's the one thing almost every trainer, vet, behaviourist and dog charity will tell you not to do - because it does excite dogs.

I know it's instinct, but I would really urge people to think before reacting as OP did. Not only do you excite the dog, you also leave yourself completely defenceless. You arms are wrapped around your child (or smaller dog) and you cannot defend yourself if you need. It's almost more likely that if a dog jumps at you, you will become unbalanced because you can't use your arms to steady yourself.

The best thing to do is be a barrier between your child/dog and the approaching dog.

Doesn't help as this situation has already happened, and I'm sorry it did, but I hope the above is helpful for if this happens again and to avoid other people making the same potentially dangerous mistake.

The dog owner was completely in the wrong and you would be within your rights to log the incident with the police as the dog was not under control.

People need to report to make the stats reflect the reality - too many owners do not control their dogs properly.

This is fine but basically blames the wrong party.

The dog should be under control.

No one should have to be a barrier.

I have two German shepherds and always stay away from children’s playgrounds. Not because my dogs jump up at children or chase them or even approach, but because lots of small children are unpredictable, some are frightened, and it’s just common sense. You need to report the owner. Personally I never let any strangers pet my dogs, safer for my dogs that way

So sick of it - "it's alright, he's friendly, he won't hurt" - when dog runs up and is same height as child.
Or when dog jumps up and puts muddy paws all over clothes and owners don't bother apologising.
No problem with well trained dogs tho

Your poor DC and you, what an experience when you're just walking through the park.

I would have been absolutely furious at this.
I hate seeing dogs off lead in a park, running up to people, getting excitable.

I was jumped at repeatedly by a group of dogs when I was around 7 (at a school friend's house) and still remember it vividly. I've also been jumped at by big dogs as an adult, while just walking in our local park (which has signs up saying dogs should be on lead).

I'm now cautious when I see dogs running and clearly not under the control of their owners.

So fed up with entitled dog owners!
I’ve always asked why is it that the children’s area fenced off but dogs run freely in parks , if it was me would be other way around
I crouched down the other day next to my grandson looking at ducks in the park, and a dog ran up to my grandson, he got such a fright and I saw it through his eyes what a huge monster it looked at that angle!
Owner was a good way away, sauntered up with a laugh oh what’s he like ? My response is not printable while covering my grandsons ears as he screamed in terror, not everyone loves your stinky slobbering dog! Honestly if I see a dog friendly hotel I try not to book.

All dogs must be kept on a lead if they cannot be controlled - which he has proven his dog can't.
You did nothing wrong. Of course you picked up your child to protect them from a strange dog running at her, why would you trust a dog you've never met?

His dog only attacks a kid once a month, What's the big deal? He's clearly trying to prevent you reporting him and you wouldn't be the first I bet.

Personally a dog jumping up at my kid would have got a boot to the face so he might want to keep it on a lead for it's own protection.

Two separate things. Firstly, that owner is an idiot. The idea of not using a lead because something happens "only once a month" is ridiculous - it demonstrates that the owner knows that their dog does do this sort of thing. As a rule, I always call my dogs in when near children. They are 99% likely to be totally fine, but they are the same height as smaller children, and liable to knock them over (unintentionally) and they don't like being touched, which some children might be tempted to do. It takes half a second to recall them. There's no reason not to. So, no, not unreasonable to be annoyed at this dog owner.

Second, in future, it might be more useful to stand in front of your child, rather than pick them up. It is a known thing that dogs find anything picked up to be more exciting. If the owner is being crap, it's likely to be a more successful action for you to take to tell the dog sternly to sit (most dogs know sit) and then stand in front of your child as a barrier.

I'm probably going to get flamed for this and I'll preface it by saying I love dogs. But if a dog bounded up to my small toddler I'd pick it up every time because what if the dog IS a danger? You can't know in advance. Another dog? yes I'd let go of it's lead and allow my dog to run away because I know it makes it worse to pick them up but a toddler? And now the flame part - If I felt in anyway at risk or a risk for my child, I'd kick the dog hard too.

Shocking happening alot.
They know they are in the wrong so they gotta say something. Normal tactic is to blame someone else.
Dig should not be off the lead.
Get picture of you can and warn others on Facebook.

He wouldn't like it if was his child?

Agree he was most definitely in the wrong.
Unless there are signs indicating dogs should be on a lead then dog owners can make a responsible decision about whether their dog is safe off the lead - many are.

Sadly there are a few too many irresponsible owners which is leading to these calls for blanket bans on off lead dogs. For many dogs this would really be detrimental to their happiness. I don't have a dog at the moment but if a ban on off lead dogs was put in place, I definitely wouldn't get another as I don't think it's fair on most dogs.

I don't know of anyone that wouldn't instinctively pick up a toddler if an off lead dog was running towards it. I don't know why you would leave them at eye level, that makes no sense, when you don't know the dog or what it's about to do.

Legally dogs must be under control in a public place, this drives me absolutely nuts, I'm a dog owner. He's lucky it didn't get a kick up the arse. I think it's partly an ego thing, they like the feeling that their dog doesn't 'need" a lead because they've trained it so well. Fools.

No, that's not ok. Any more than parents who let their toddler touch strange dogs without asking are ok-I have been called mean for having a problem with kids I don't know running up to/grabbing my dog (I'm fine with it if the parents asks and approaches slowly, but when they don't, the dog gets used to expecting children being all over him, and will then start to react like the dog in your situation). All beings (human or animal) shouldn't touch each other without permission, and when we're talking dogs or little kids, it's up to the adult to keep control.

You are not wrong.

I would have gone mental had my dog done this and been so apologetic and put her straight on the lead and check if you/little one were ok? Except she wouldn't do this as I have trained her to not approach children other than ours. If a child wants to stroke her, I make her sit first and let them. Sorry you had this experience!

Even better, reactive dogs should be on a flipping lead

stop excusing this behaviour from the dog owner