AIBU to say an owner was irresponsible after his dog jumped at my toddler?

[ProudSwan]

I was walking with my young toddler in the park, just a few metres away from a gated playground, when a border terrier belonging to an older group of people suddenly came running straight toward us. Because the dog was large enough that its face was level with my daughter's face and throat—and since I didn't know the dog—I instinctively scooped her up to keep her safe.
The moment she was in my arms, the dog began jumping frantically at her. I firmly told it "no," and the owner finally came over and retrieved it. My daughter was very upset, so I walked away with her crying in my arms. Although she was wearing trousers that prevented the dog from breaking the skin, she was left with many visible red marks on her legs, which she mentioned still hurt later that afternoon when I was changing her.
Shortly after, the owner approached me to "explain." He claimed his dog was actually very friendly and good with children, and that the aggressive behaviour was entirely my fault for picking her up. He explained that his dog "has a thing" about children being held in their parents' arms, and claimed he had been about to warn me not to pick her up. He offered no apology, repeating only that he wanted to justify his dog's actions.
I responded that if his dog couldn't cope with children being held, it shouldn't be off-lead in a public park near a playground. I pointed out that the frightening incident could make her fearful of dogs—noting that a relative had a similar childhood experience that caused their fear of dogs which would be sad because she currently loves dogs.
He dismissed my concerns, arguing that they don't use a lead because incidents like this "don't happen often, maybe once a month." He reiterated that the dog was friendly, that local children regularly pet him, and that the fault lay entirely with me for picking my daughter up. He even mentioned they had looked it up online and decided the dog was showing a "protective instinct towards the child."
At that point, I suggested that if the dog truly was friendly, they could hold it on a lead for a moment so my daughter could see it was safe and had just been "playing" or "protective." The owner refused, saying the rest of his group had already moved on—which only made me question how friendly the dog actually was.
Ultimately, no apology was offered. The owner's stance was that it is a public park and they therefore aren't required to use a lead, that the whole thing was my fault for picking up my child, and that my daughter wasn't really all that hurt or upset and they don't have to have it on a lead and then he left. Was it so unreasonable to expect a dog that is known by their owners to jump at children in arms to be on a lead?

Mumoftwoandcats · Today 20:36
Our local parks do allow dogs, but there are notices up to have them on the lead.

Fucking dogs 😡😡😡

my daughter is terrified of dogs (not after any major incident, but many small ones like this) and I spend my life telling her to stay calm, don’t panic, stand still etc. Then I hear stories like this and another bloody dog owner comes on and blames the parent for picking the child up 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️

If my daughter had scratches on her legs from a dog jumping up at her I’d be contacting the police, in the hope the bloody thing would be put down before it hurt anyone else.

Dog owner is an idiot. My dog is lovely and friendly but he can be jumpy and so i dont take any chances with small children. He's put on a lead if we come across small children.
The dog you encountered has a behavioural problem if it gets protective when kids are picked up and the owner should not have acted the way he did.

How are none dog people supposed to know you shouldn't pick your child up because it excites a dog? Ridiculous. If a dog of any size had running towards my kids when they were little of course id have picked them up. And I wouldn't be worried about not having use of my arms either because my feet were still free. If the dog still managed to scratch her legs, take pictures and report. His reaction was outrageous and clearly indicates his dog has done this before. Plus he was basically lecturing you. Wanker.

This and ditto

Report this to the police

Well that guy sounds like an entitled jack ass. Anyone defending him is also an entitled jack ass.

wow ok, it is not for the whole world to train themselves and their kids. It is for dog owners to train their dogs or keep them on a leash.

i think the dog should have been on a lead! My 20 month old is always getting licked in the face in parks etc. she likes dogs though:) Hope your little girl is ok.

I am a dog owner and a dog lover.
This man needs to be reported.
I hope you can identify him and the dog and take it further.

And - it only happens once a month!? Wtf.

This - if you can't manage your dog have it on a leach, dogs should not jump up at people, l certainly don't want it.

I would have kicked his bloody dog tbh.

Well done to your DH. If more people did this dog owners would think twice about letting their dog leap at people “once a month”

Op, next time get a picture and tell the owner you’re going to report him for his dog being out of control which is against the dangerous dogs act.

I had to do that with a neighbour who refused to leash her cocker poodle.

Thankfully the apartment building management took my side told her she had to when I complained after it jumped up and scratched my thighs two days in a row!

I've been a dog owner for all of my adult life and I agree with you. Some breeds, but not all, may become exciteable if a child is picked up, but that really isn't your problem. The responsibility is on the dog's owner to train their dog properly, to know their dog's weak points and to anticipate potential problems and to get their dog under control before potential becomes actual. I've had 6 medium to large dogs and none jumped up because they were trained not to.

That wasn't just because jumping up is one of my pet hates, it was to protect them. A young, bouncy Labrador, for example, could easily sent a child or an elderly person flying.

There would be no aggression or malice in this but none the less that situation would fall under the heading of "dog dangerously out of control." My dogs were also not allowed to run towards children because their size could frighten a child. If a child approached them, they would greet them in a friendly and calm manner, overseen by me. None of my dogs would react if a child was picked up other than they'd lose interest and walk away. It amazes me how cavalier the owner of this Border Terrier is. It's only a matter of time before the police turn up to have a word with him.

Exactly. I’m a short slim woman who has dyspraxia and regularly falls over my
own feet even when walking and this is the first thing I thought of. The dog would be round me in a second and I’d be on the ground after trying to spin around 😂

My dog loves toddlers because we have a toddler and he adores the toddler and toddlers friends. Toddlers are fast and fun and make exciting squeaking noises.

He's the most patient dog in the world with little children, he loves them so much. He'd never jump, scratch or bite, but he doesn't have to jump up because he's a big dog.

I keep my dog away from other toddlers because I know he would want to go up to greet them and wiggle.

Not only do I not want the children to be scared, and I'm well aware lots of children are afraid of dogs, but even the ones who aren't don't always want a dog in their face.

But also, I don't want to put my dog in that position. I'd never want to put him in a position where he'd make a mistake.

Children make way more mistakes around dogs than dogs make around children. But the consequences of a dog making a mistake are horrific. It's never worth the risk.

Dog owners responsibility is for the dogs best interests and those of everyone they come into contact with. Dogs don't make good decisions, they're loveable idiots. There's no way it's in the dog or child's best interests to let the dog practice that behaviour of running up to a child, let alone jumping at them.

He was just a selfish man who felt defensive about allowing something irresponsible to happen. Apologizing would have meant admitting he was in the wrong and responsible.

He is 100% in the wrong and should keep his dog leashed at all times from what he's said. The dog is a liability and it sounds like it's just a matter of time until there is a bite.
He clearly has no control or recall. This is in no way your fault. He is an ass and I'd consider making a police report.
Border terriers are tough little dogs with a hard bite.

This reminds me my friend has a toddler who loves dogs but unfortunately his face comes out in a rash after dogs lick him in the park. She gave her husband a row the other day because he didn’t pick up the kid in time before a dog licked him.

So anyway the issue is when dogs come bounding over to strangers usually they do mean to make contact. Therefore not picking up the kids and “forming a barrier” won’t solve the problem!!

The likelihood is the excited dog will probably will still jump and push your child to the ground, give them unwanted licks, jump up and scratch them.

The only way to stop this happening is for dog owners to keep their dogs under control.

Dogs are predators.

The owner is an idiot and has a head full of bullshit.

I was raised with dogs, I know how they think.

As a mother your instincts are right, never let any brainless fool like this dog owner tell you otherwise, he should be muzzled, never mind the dog.

If ever you experience anything like this again, stamp your foot LOUDLY on the ground, this tells the dog to back off now.

The stupid animal is a potential danger to small kids and there is no risk worth taking because the child, in the dogs mind becomes prey.

The owner is a foolish, stupid man who should never tell a mother not to use her instincts to protect her child.

Dogs are predators to children, toddlers need mums like you OP.

Well if his dog only attacks 1 child a month and lives for 10 years, that's a mere 120 children left traumatised (not including witnesses and parents)!

That owner is a selfish criminal who shouldn't be allowed to own dogs.

On the one hand this is actually useful advice which I was not aware of. But it is also essentially still victim blaming - any dog that is not under complete control should, in my opinion, be on a lead. It beggars belief that some people seem to think it's ok for dogs to frighten young children even if unintentionally. I got more than a little annoyed at a couple walking a lab/retriever type dog on a beach who thought it was hilariously funny that my 3 year old DS was screaming in fright when it ran up to him unexpectedly and started to chase him while he was minding his own business building a sandcastle. No apology from them, unsurprisingly. If my child did something unintentionally to frighten/upset someone, I'd apologise profusely. But so many dog owners are unbelievably entitled these days.

Dog owner. This man gives responsible owners a bad name. So sorry your little girl was upset, please don't think we are all like this. An entitled idiot.

I hate when people get defensive and start “explaining” as a response to knowing you fucked up. The decent thing to do would be to apologise profusely in this instance. A more decent thing would be to not let a dog off the lead in a public place in the first instance.

Not a dog owner (love dogs), so I don’t know what the rules are around this, but I think it should be law that dogs should be on leads in public spaces, with the exception of large fields, not those green chain walk spaces where pedestrians frequent.

I have a very friendly Springer spaniel, my young kids say he has “main character energy” and he truly believes everyone is just out to fuss him. He’s ace off lead but will approach people in a subservient manner and never jumps up. We’re always aware of people with babies/children or their own dogs on leads, so rein him in and ask if he can approach them. Interestingly, he’s extra super sweet with little ones and it’s made many little ones happy when they can stroke him. However I’d be mortified if he spooked a kid or jumped up ON ANYONE. So many bad dog owners out there are spoiling it for everyone. Kids come before dogs and these entitled idiots don’t deserve dogs. Dogs need commitment and training and there’s a serious lack of that. I suggest getting your little one to know dogs soon, so it doesn’t become a phobia. Even better, get a puppy if you can handle the commitment as kids that grow up with dogs are very confident and happy. You’ll thank me when your baby is a teen and would rather cry with the dog after giving you attitude 🤣

It "only" bites kids once a month and they don't think they should put it on a lead? 🤦‍♀️