Active discussions

Help protect children from gaming harms.

Take our survey

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to say an owner was irresponsible after his dog jumped at my toddler?

136 replies

ProudSwan · 26/08/2026 13:49

I was walking with my young toddler in the park, just a few metres away from a gated playground, when a border terrier belonging to an older group of people suddenly came running straight toward us. Because the dog was large enough that its face was level with my daughter's face and throat—and since I didn't know the dog—I instinctively scooped her up to keep her safe.
The moment she was in my arms, the dog began jumping frantically at her. I firmly told it "no," and the owner finally came over and retrieved it. My daughter was very upset, so I walked away with her crying in my arms. Although she was wearing trousers that prevented the dog from breaking the skin, she was left with many visible red marks on her legs, which she mentioned still hurt later that afternoon when I was changing her.
Shortly after, the owner approached me to "explain." He claimed his dog was actually very friendly and good with children, and that the aggressive behaviour was entirely my fault for picking her up. He explained that his dog "has a thing" about children being held in their parents' arms, and claimed he had been about to warn me not to pick her up. He offered no apology, repeating only that he wanted to justify his dog's actions.
I responded that if his dog couldn't cope with children being held, it shouldn't be off-lead in a public park near a playground. I pointed out that the frightening incident could make her fearful of dogs—noting that a relative had a similar childhood experience that caused their fear of dogs which would be sad because she currently loves dogs.
He dismissed my concerns, arguing that they don't use a lead because incidents like this "don't happen often, maybe once a month." He reiterated that the dog was friendly, that local children regularly pet him, and that the fault lay entirely with me for picking my daughter up. He even mentioned they had looked it up online and decided the dog was showing a "protective instinct towards the child."
At that point, I suggested that if the dog truly was friendly, they could hold it on a lead for a moment so my daughter could see it was safe and had just been "playing" or "protective." The owner refused, saying the rest of his group had already moved on—which only made me question how friendly the dog actually was.
Ultimately, no apology was offered. The owner's stance was that it is a public park and they therefore aren't required to use a lead, that the whole thing was my fault for picking up my child, and that my daughter wasn't really all that hurt or upset and they don't have to have it on a lead and then he left. Was it so unreasonable to expect a dog that is known by their owners to jump at children in arms to be on a lead?

OP posts:
AndImVictoriaMalcolm · 26/08/2026 21:08

luckylavender · 26/08/2026 20:56

That’s a big ask when an animal you know nothing about is hurtling towards your tiny child. I know it’s what you are supposed to do.

Show quote history

Agree, instinct kicks in. If my children are hurt or upset my instinct is to reach out to them. When they were/are small enough, I pick them up and hold them. I accept it doesn’t help the situation but this scenario could have been avoided completely if this owner had kept his dog-who has form for this behaviour- on a lead at his side. It’s not asking for much.

beaglescurleduplikebagels · 26/08/2026 21:27

TheHungryHungryLandsharks · 26/08/2026 13:58

I say this on every thread (and get yelled at on every thread - even though the advice is correct), but the worst thing you can do in these situations is pick a child (or dog) up. It's the one thing almost every trainer, vet, behaviourist and dog charity will tell you not to do - because it does excite dogs.

I know it's instinct, but I would really urge people to think before reacting as OP did. Not only do you excite the dog, you also leave yourself completely defenceless. You arms are wrapped around your child (or smaller dog) and you cannot defend yourself if you need. It's almost more likely that if a dog jumps at you, you will become unbalanced because you can't use your arms to steady yourself.

The best thing to do is be a barrier between your child/dog and the approaching dog.

Doesn't help as this situation has already happened, and I'm sorry it did, but I hope the above is helpful for if this happens again and to avoid other people making the same potentially dangerous mistake.

Edited

The thing is, while you’re technically correct, you’re also expecting parents to trust that this random dog isn’t going to leap at their toddlers’ face and bite it.

Being a “barrier” is all well and good (and it’s something I do to block strange dogs approaching my dog) but a small, determined dog will just dart around you and either (if you’re lucky) jump at your child or attack them (if you’re not).

If a strange dog runs over to my dog and won’t piss off, I will ankle a kick at it - if I had a child, I would pick them up and then angle a kick - not leave my kid on the ground and hope for the best.

longtompot · 26/08/2026 21:27

Ya absolutely nbu @ProudSwan

owner's stance was that it is a public park and they therefore aren't required to use a lead
If the dog is under control then fine, but his wasn't. It's people like him that give us dog owners a bad name.

I hope your dd is ok now

BogRollBOGOF · 26/08/2026 22:17

The owner is criminally irresponsible.

I'm now at the point where I point out that the dog is illegally out of control.

Although this was only enough for the last smirking bastard to keep his mutt on a lead for two minutes after it chased a terrified woman onto a bench and he was tardy to recall it, and just stood and watched

"Friendly" is dog owner code for "I'm a lazy twat who can't be arsed to train my precious furbaby, and I don't give a shit about how it inconveniences you".

(Image is the law from the govenment website)

AIBU to say an owner was irresponsible after his dog jumped at my toddler?
LeopardStar1 · Yesterday 18:10

Well all I can say is, he's lucky he met you and not me. What an entitled stupid man he is!

jdb9803 · Yesterday 18:16

TheHungryHungryLandsharks · 26/08/2026 13:58

I say this on every thread (and get yelled at on every thread - even though the advice is correct), but the worst thing you can do in these situations is pick a child (or dog) up. It's the one thing almost every trainer, vet, behaviourist and dog charity will tell you not to do - because it does excite dogs.

I know it's instinct, but I would really urge people to think before reacting as OP did. Not only do you excite the dog, you also leave yourself completely defenceless. You arms are wrapped around your child (or smaller dog) and you cannot defend yourself if you need. It's almost more likely that if a dog jumps at you, you will become unbalanced because you can't use your arms to steady yourself.

The best thing to do is be a barrier between your child/dog and the approaching dog.

Doesn't help as this situation has already happened, and I'm sorry it did, but I hope the above is helpful for if this happens again and to avoid other people making the same potentially dangerous mistake.

Edited

The issue is the dog was running towards the child BEFORE the child was picked up - the dog was already out of control and OP had no way of knowing what the dog was going to do when it reached the child - her concern was her child not the dog and quite frankly the dog was lucky not to get kicked.
The dog owner is not fit to have a dog - saying he doesn't need it on a lead because it only goes for someone every month or so - that doesn't even matter - as a dog owner you have to be in control of your dog at all times and he was out of control the second the dog raced off, even if the intentions were friendly, which I highly doubt
I say this as a dog owner - my dog is always on lead

jdb9803 · Yesterday 18:27

BogRollBOGOF · 26/08/2026 22:17

The owner is criminally irresponsible.

I'm now at the point where I point out that the dog is illegally out of control.

Although this was only enough for the last smirking bastard to keep his mutt on a lead for two minutes after it chased a terrified woman onto a bench and he was tardy to recall it, and just stood and watched

"Friendly" is dog owner code for "I'm a lazy twat who can't be arsed to train my precious furbaby, and I don't give a shit about how it inconveniences you".

(Image is the law from the govenment website)

I might print out that page on little flyers to hand out

Blushingm · Yesterday 18:32

TheHungryHungryLandsharks · 26/08/2026 13:58

I say this on every thread (and get yelled at on every thread - even though the advice is correct), but the worst thing you can do in these situations is pick a child (or dog) up. It's the one thing almost every trainer, vet, behaviourist and dog charity will tell you not to do - because it does excite dogs.

I know it's instinct, but I would really urge people to think before reacting as OP did. Not only do you excite the dog, you also leave yourself completely defenceless. You arms are wrapped around your child (or smaller dog) and you cannot defend yourself if you need. It's almost more likely that if a dog jumps at you, you will become unbalanced because you can't use your arms to steady yourself.

The best thing to do is be a barrier between your child/dog and the approaching dog.

Doesn't help as this situation has already happened, and I'm sorry it did, but I hope the above is helpful for if this happens again and to avoid other people making the same potentially dangerous mistake.

Edited

You can kick the dog and you have your child’s face away from the mouth of an aggressive dog. You can also turn your back on the nasty dog thus protecting the child. Dogs should always be on a lead regardless

Bonkers1966 · Yesterday 18:37

You had the misfortune to encourage another entitled pet owner.

AcquadiP · Yesterday 19:01

ProudSwan · 26/08/2026 13:49

I was walking with my young toddler in the park, just a few metres away from a gated playground, when a border terrier belonging to an older group of people suddenly came running straight toward us. Because the dog was large enough that its face was level with my daughter's face and throat—and since I didn't know the dog—I instinctively scooped her up to keep her safe.
The moment she was in my arms, the dog began jumping frantically at her. I firmly told it "no," and the owner finally came over and retrieved it. My daughter was very upset, so I walked away with her crying in my arms. Although she was wearing trousers that prevented the dog from breaking the skin, she was left with many visible red marks on her legs, which she mentioned still hurt later that afternoon when I was changing her.
Shortly after, the owner approached me to "explain." He claimed his dog was actually very friendly and good with children, and that the aggressive behaviour was entirely my fault for picking her up. He explained that his dog "has a thing" about children being held in their parents' arms, and claimed he had been about to warn me not to pick her up. He offered no apology, repeating only that he wanted to justify his dog's actions.
I responded that if his dog couldn't cope with children being held, it shouldn't be off-lead in a public park near a playground. I pointed out that the frightening incident could make her fearful of dogs—noting that a relative had a similar childhood experience that caused their fear of dogs which would be sad because she currently loves dogs.
He dismissed my concerns, arguing that they don't use a lead because incidents like this "don't happen often, maybe once a month." He reiterated that the dog was friendly, that local children regularly pet him, and that the fault lay entirely with me for picking my daughter up. He even mentioned they had looked it up online and decided the dog was showing a "protective instinct towards the child."
At that point, I suggested that if the dog truly was friendly, they could hold it on a lead for a moment so my daughter could see it was safe and had just been "playing" or "protective." The owner refused, saying the rest of his group had already moved on—which only made me question how friendly the dog actually was.
Ultimately, no apology was offered. The owner's stance was that it is a public park and they therefore aren't required to use a lead, that the whole thing was my fault for picking up my child, and that my daughter wasn't really all that hurt or upset and they don't have to have it on a lead and then he left. Was it so unreasonable to expect a dog that is known by their owners to jump at children in arms to be on a lead?

This dog owner is completely clueless.

First of all it's a legal requirement that a dog is under control in a public place and that, contrary to what he believes, includes parks. As he clearly has little control over his dog, and given it's track record in similar circumstances, he should have put the dog on a lead the moment he spotted your toddler; or better still had it on a lead near the children's play area.

Secondly, you have done nothing wrong. He should not be expecting you to modify your behaviour (not pick up your toddler) to accommodate his dog's behaviour. His dog's behaviour is his responsibility not yours.

Thirdly his dog was not acting protectively towards your toddler. That's bollocks. Who does he imagine his dog was protecting your toddler from when the only person present was you?

I'm very sceptical that this dog is friendly to small children so long as they're on the ground. That's a line he most likely comes out with every time this happens.

I'm very sorry this happened to you and your toddler because it shouldn't have. He's an ignorant, entitled prick.

Hm1987 · Yesterday 19:12

As a dog owner he was in the wrong if he has no recall and has issues with children being held he shouldn’t be walking him off lead in the park …. I can’t stand owners like this they don’t give a shit the amount of times I’ve screamed at owners when there dogs run over aggressive to put there dog on a bloody lead …. Most dogs are friendly just want to say hello but my dog has almost been attacked on a number of occasions bad owners …… you have every right to lose your shit

MissSold · Yesterday 19:38

I would have booted his stupid fucking dog in the face. And I’m a dog owner. By law, dogs should be under control at all times in public spaces. He was 100% in the wrong.

Vwpa · Yesterday 19:45

I’m a dog owner, so are my db/sil. my sil was attached by a border terrier and had to have an operation on her hand under general anaesthetic. My DH and dog (on lead) were quietly walking along minding their own business and were charged by a massive out of control dog. My dog was bleeding and my DH was charged to the ground.

the dog owner in the op is obviously a totally irresponsible twat with an out of control dog in public, which isn’t allowed.

that said, nobody is policing these out of control dogs and our streets and parks are therefore dangerous. I don’t know what the answer is. The attack my DH and dog suffered was in the dark and the dog and owner ran away. So it went unreported as DH had no idea what to report and we were more concerned with getting the dog to the emergency vet.

eastegg · Yesterday 19:50

TheHungryHungryLandsharks · 26/08/2026 13:58

I say this on every thread (and get yelled at on every thread - even though the advice is correct), but the worst thing you can do in these situations is pick a child (or dog) up. It's the one thing almost every trainer, vet, behaviourist and dog charity will tell you not to do - because it does excite dogs.

I know it's instinct, but I would really urge people to think before reacting as OP did. Not only do you excite the dog, you also leave yourself completely defenceless. You arms are wrapped around your child (or smaller dog) and you cannot defend yourself if you need. It's almost more likely that if a dog jumps at you, you will become unbalanced because you can't use your arms to steady yourself.

The best thing to do is be a barrier between your child/dog and the approaching dog.

Doesn't help as this situation has already happened, and I'm sorry it did, but I hope the above is helpful for if this happens again and to avoid other people making the same potentially dangerous mistake.

Edited

The fundamental problem with this advice is that someone like the OP doesn’t have anything to do with trainers, vets, behaviourists and dog charities, because they don’t have a dog, so why should they? And therein lies the problem; you’re essentially blaming the non dog owner for not knowing much about dogs. It’s also an extremely difficult instinct to overcome, to take the child higher out of the out of control dog’s face.

carchi · Yesterday 19:54

SickandTiredofEverything · 26/08/2026 14:09

I'm probably going to get flamed for this and I'll preface it by saying I love dogs. But if a dog bounded up to my small toddler I'd pick it up every time because what if the dog IS a danger? You can't know in advance. Another dog? yes I'd let go of it's lead and allow my dog to run away because I know it makes it worse to pick them up but a toddler? And now the flame part - If I felt in anyway at risk or a risk for my child, I'd kick the dog hard too.

No flame from me. I would protect my children and now my grandchildren from any dog whatever measures it took. In my opinion if the dog is off the lead and comes at a child then I will not assume it's friendly.

MandemChickenShop · Yesterday 20:04

Drivingmissrangey · 26/08/2026 14:20

I put dog owners in the same bucket as cyclists. 50% selfish d1cks, 40% oblivious d1cks and 10% ok.

you seem nice

nbvxsefc · Yesterday 20:15

What would he say then if he met me with my baby in the sling? It’s my fault his dog jumped up because my baby was in the sling?

I absolutely hate this attitude from some dog owners “oh it’s ok he’s friendly”. Couldn’t give a shit, my child is frightened, I don’t know if the dog is friendly, my kids aren’t used to big dogs, and all animals can be unpredictable.

Someone who lives in our village has a pointer that’s always miles off the lead and he’s nowhere in sight. Completely irresponsible and has frightened my kids before. Can’t even speak to him about it as he’s nowhere to be seen.

Have had the same nonsense with dog owners around our horses too. Including a memorable incident where a completely out of control dog was chasing us. So we stood still and my very brave calm horse ignored the dog while the owner failed to call it back/catch it and it ran rings around us. At one point it got too near my horse’s back legs and I told the dog off and the owner had a go at me for shouting at his dog. Eventually my mum caught his dog for him. He marched off without a word, never mind an apology. Could have been an incredibly serious incident.

If you can’t (and won’t) call your dog back don’t have it off the lead.

OP you were in the right and this man was an arsehole.

Dogandcatmum · Yesterday 20:19

I'm a dog owner, as are many other posters. I'm so sorry you had to deal with this. The primary responsibility is with the dog owner, not you. The owner was totally out of order and should have kept their dog under control. I do hope your poor child isn't too traumatised. It's situations like this that can lead to phobias. The owner is selfish and entitled. You can't reason with people like this. In a perfect world what he said is not totally ridiculous but who would take that risk with their child? Protect your child first.

geumsun · Yesterday 20:19

He explained that his dog "has a thing" about children being held in their parents' arms, and claimed he had been about to warn me not to pick her up.

Dear sir - you have failed miserably at training your dog. Please ensure it is never off lead in public again. In anticipation of your positive action, geumsun off of Mumsnet.

Imisscoffee2021 · Yesterday 20:26

NO you are not in the wrong. And I've experienced that kind of dog owner that think their pets needs outweigh all others, and often are the ones with less patience for children. How dare someone tell you you shouldn't pick up your own child, that's a far more ancient and natural interaction than the domestication of dogs. He's admitted his dog isn't safe in public if something as frequent and normal as an adult carrying a child sets it off. And I love dogs FYI. Had them all my life, bit loathe these dog owners.

Well done you for standing up for yourself, I kicked myself for not doing the same when my toddler and I were walking down a train aisle once, and a dog on a woman's knee lunged out at his face which was level. The owner goes "oh he doesn't like people in his space" HIS space. Years and years of in built automatic reaction has me saying don't worry and immediately kicked myself for not standing up for my barely 2 Yr old. He's 3 now and I still get annoyed when I remember.

Mumoftwoandcats · Yesterday 20:26

He was 100% in the wrong. All dogs should
ne on a lead in a children’s play park. No wonder your little one was so upset, and I really hope it doesn’t leave her with a fear of dogs (like my DD had after a similar incident). Report him.

Imisscoffee2021 · Yesterday 20:27

Mumoftwoandcats · Yesterday 20:26

He was 100% in the wrong. All dogs should
ne on a lead in a children’s play park. No wonder your little one was so upset, and I really hope it doesn’t leave her with a fear of dogs (like my DD had after a similar incident). Report him.

Dogs aren't allowed at all in most play grounds even on a lead, as the tactile nature of the space means any fouling at all can be dangerous very quickly, rather than got behavioural reasons.

LateAgainJeeves · Yesterday 20:28

It's a dog, an animal. Animals are unpredictable in most situations. All dogs should be on a lead in any public place. Plus they should not be in areas that serve food to humans. I do like dogs, but I wouldn't have one loose nearby with any child.

Well done Mum for protecting your child.

Witchymadwoman · Yesterday 20:30

concertinacornflake · 26/08/2026 14:00

This is fine but basically blames the wrong party.

The dog should be under control.

No one should have to be a barrier.

Show quote history

Exactly. It’s a bit like telling women to stay home because men can be violent!

Mumoftwoandcats · Yesterday 20:36

Our local parks do allow dogs, but there are notices up to have them on the lead.