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AIBU?

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Original poster

AIBU to say an owner was irresponsible after his dog jumped at my toddler?

136 replies

ProudSwan · 26/08/2026 13:49

I was walking with my young toddler in the park, just a few metres away from a gated playground, when a border terrier belonging to an older group of people suddenly came running straight toward us. Because the dog was large enough that its face was level with my daughter's face and throat—and since I didn't know the dog—I instinctively scooped her up to keep her safe.
The moment she was in my arms, the dog began jumping frantically at her. I firmly told it "no," and the owner finally came over and retrieved it. My daughter was very upset, so I walked away with her crying in my arms. Although she was wearing trousers that prevented the dog from breaking the skin, she was left with many visible red marks on her legs, which she mentioned still hurt later that afternoon when I was changing her.
Shortly after, the owner approached me to "explain." He claimed his dog was actually very friendly and good with children, and that the aggressive behaviour was entirely my fault for picking her up. He explained that his dog "has a thing" about children being held in their parents' arms, and claimed he had been about to warn me not to pick her up. He offered no apology, repeating only that he wanted to justify his dog's actions.
I responded that if his dog couldn't cope with children being held, it shouldn't be off-lead in a public park near a playground. I pointed out that the frightening incident could make her fearful of dogs—noting that a relative had a similar childhood experience that caused their fear of dogs which would be sad because she currently loves dogs.
He dismissed my concerns, arguing that they don't use a lead because incidents like this "don't happen often, maybe once a month." He reiterated that the dog was friendly, that local children regularly pet him, and that the fault lay entirely with me for picking my daughter up. He even mentioned they had looked it up online and decided the dog was showing a "protective instinct towards the child."
At that point, I suggested that if the dog truly was friendly, they could hold it on a lead for a moment so my daughter could see it was safe and had just been "playing" or "protective." The owner refused, saying the rest of his group had already moved on—which only made me question how friendly the dog actually was.
Ultimately, no apology was offered. The owner's stance was that it is a public park and they therefore aren't required to use a lead, that the whole thing was my fault for picking up my child, and that my daughter wasn't really all that hurt or upset and they don't have to have it on a lead and then he left. Was it so unreasonable to expect a dog that is known by their owners to jump at children in arms to be on a lead?

OP posts:
LagoLady · 26/08/2026 15:21

Of course you picked your child up. A dog running towards her would have likely knocked her over, possibly seriously injuring her, or possibly attacked her. How are you to know that the dog is friendly? Hmm

The dog, if it is known to run towards or jump at people, should have been on a lead, and I’m a dog owner

MulinoBiancoNero · 26/08/2026 15:23

They are always "friendly", and it's always you who are in the wrong, according to the entitled dog owners.

Scaremongerer · 26/08/2026 15:27

Not the same of course, but my 16-year-old son had a dog jump at him and bite his arm. It was a minor bite so he was fine apart from a tetanus jab. But the owner did not apologise. She told him it was his fault for carrying a football in his arms. Some of these dog owners are just unpleasant idiots.

Scaremongerer · 26/08/2026 15:28

LagoLady · 26/08/2026 15:21

Of course you picked your child up. A dog running towards her would have likely knocked her over, possibly seriously injuring her, or possibly attacked her. How are you to know that the dog is friendly? Hmm

The dog, if it is known to run towards or jump at people, should have been on a lead, and I’m a dog owner

Imagine anything potentially dangerous targeting your child, and you not instinctively wanting to pick them up and protect them. Ridiculous.

Johnogroats · 26/08/2026 15:29

He was a dick. He was expecting you to leave your toddler on the ground in some sort of game of chicken? Heads the dog stops and wags its tail, tails the dog savages the toddler. WTF??

Dozycuntlaters · 26/08/2026 15:31

YANBU at all. I have a border terrier owner, who lovely as she is, can be a real bellend......hence she is not allowed off her lead. It's owners like him who give us responsible ones a bad name.

napody · 26/08/2026 15:33

TheHungryHungryLandsharks · 26/08/2026 13:58

I say this on every thread (and get yelled at on every thread - even though the advice is correct), but the worst thing you can do in these situations is pick a child (or dog) up. It's the one thing almost every trainer, vet, behaviourist and dog charity will tell you not to do - because it does excite dogs.

I know it's instinct, but I would really urge people to think before reacting as OP did. Not only do you excite the dog, you also leave yourself completely defenceless. You arms are wrapped around your child (or smaller dog) and you cannot defend yourself if you need. It's almost more likely that if a dog jumps at you, you will become unbalanced because you can't use your arms to steady yourself.

The best thing to do is be a barrier between your child/dog and the approaching dog.

Doesn't help as this situation has already happened, and I'm sorry it did, but I hope the above is helpful for if this happens again and to avoid other people making the same potentially dangerous mistake.

Edited

OK I take this point and good to know.
However, in this scenario where the dog should have been on a lead but wasn't vicious, the child ended up with scratches all over her legs instead of face and eyes. So with the benefit of hindsight it was perhaps still the best option?

Swissmeringue · 26/08/2026 15:39

Yanbu, we love dogs and I'm desperate to get another at some point soon, my kids know and love pretty much every dog in the village. But I recently got into a blazing row with a guy after his staffy did exactly the same thing, came bouncing over jumping up at my 3 year old who loves dogs but gets scared when they jump at him. So I picked the dog up because I knew if I picked the kid up he would carry on jumping and I wouldn't have any hands spare. Carried the dog back to its owner who was stood 20 yards away calling his name half arsedly and told him to get his dog on a lead. Anyway he started screaming at me for touching his dog. Couldn't seem to comprehend that when it comes to dogs and small children friendly does not equal safe, a claw in the face is a claw in the face regardless of whether the dog is trying to be playful. Accused me of prejudice against his dog, I used to have a sodding rottweiler, I definitely don't have breed prejudice.

People are stupid when it comes to their dogs sometimes.

cheesegrated · 26/08/2026 16:07

...and if you didn't lift your child and she got bit/scratched/pushed over he'd of been saying "why didn't your lift her?"

Mate why can't you just be a decent dog owner and have your dog on a lead?

MrsMcGarry · 26/08/2026 16:12

Dog owner here currently with a 18 month old Lab who absolutely tries to run up and say hello to any child or dog he sees. Which is why I walk him on a long lead and always keep aware of who is near so I can pull him back. I'm really sorry this happened to you and your daughter

SiberFox · 26/08/2026 16:15

He is an absolute idiot.

MildlyAnnoyed · 26/08/2026 16:22

I’m a dog owner. My dog jumps up all the time. However, I actively keep him away from children, people with walking aids etc because he’d knock them over. If it’s an adult, I also tend to keep him away because he’s a pest. It generally only happens if I’m not paying attention.

JuliettaCaeser · 26/08/2026 16:29

It’s getting ridiculous now. Public spaces are for dogs who must be free to do whatever they want to hell within everyone else and anyone that gets in the way of this doggie free for all is seen as unreasonable. See also the dog eating BBQ where it was decided by the dog lovers that it was all the BBQers fault.

Mydogisagentleman · 26/08/2026 17:06

YANBU. I say that as a total dog softie.
Sometimes the dog wears a teeny bib type thing.
My little dog was a tiny puppy when an out of control jack Russell ran over and started nipping him.
I picked up my dog and instinctively hooked nasty doggies owner came huffing up and told me to read his bib. Nervous dog.
We had words and my very gentle lad has never trusted a JR again

Mydogisagentleman · 26/08/2026 17:07

Hoofed. I didn't hook him

Mondaytuesdayhappydays · 26/08/2026 17:08

TheHungryHungryLandsharks · 26/08/2026 13:58

I say this on every thread (and get yelled at on every thread - even though the advice is correct), but the worst thing you can do in these situations is pick a child (or dog) up. It's the one thing almost every trainer, vet, behaviourist and dog charity will tell you not to do - because it does excite dogs.

I know it's instinct, but I would really urge people to think before reacting as OP did. Not only do you excite the dog, you also leave yourself completely defenceless. You arms are wrapped around your child (or smaller dog) and you cannot defend yourself if you need. It's almost more likely that if a dog jumps at you, you will become unbalanced because you can't use your arms to steady yourself.

The best thing to do is be a barrier between your child/dog and the approaching dog.

Doesn't help as this situation has already happened, and I'm sorry it did, but I hope the above is helpful for if this happens again and to avoid other people making the same potentially dangerous mistake.

Edited

Speechless …

aliasfrog · 26/08/2026 17:08

TheHungryHungryLandsharks · 26/08/2026 13:58

I say this on every thread (and get yelled at on every thread - even though the advice is correct), but the worst thing you can do in these situations is pick a child (or dog) up. It's the one thing almost every trainer, vet, behaviourist and dog charity will tell you not to do - because it does excite dogs.

I know it's instinct, but I would really urge people to think before reacting as OP did. Not only do you excite the dog, you also leave yourself completely defenceless. You arms are wrapped around your child (or smaller dog) and you cannot defend yourself if you need. It's almost more likely that if a dog jumps at you, you will become unbalanced because you can't use your arms to steady yourself.

The best thing to do is be a barrier between your child/dog and the approaching dog.

Doesn't help as this situation has already happened, and I'm sorry it did, but I hope the above is helpful for if this happens again and to avoid other people making the same potentially dangerous mistake.

Edited

What a ridiculous thing to say. If a dog is running at a child of course you are going to pick up the child. Dogs should be on the lead in public places, no exceptions.

C152 · 26/08/2026 17:49

Jesus! His dog attacks kids once a month and he thinks that's not often?! You can find a number for your local dog warden online and report the incident, giving a description of the owner and dog. I'm not sure whether anything will come of it, but I'd be inclined to do so, in the hope it forces the owner to be more responsible.

Frieda86 · 26/08/2026 19:53

My ds is terrified of dogs cos of a similar situation. To the pp saying you shouldn't have picked her up, my ds climbs up me now every time he sees a bloody dog so I have no choice.
And I'm sick of people saying it's a friendly dog. To a tiny child it's a huge unknown.

Frieda86 · 26/08/2026 19:54

aliasfrog · 26/08/2026 17:08

What a ridiculous thing to say. If a dog is running at a child of course you are going to pick up the child. Dogs should be on the lead in public places, no exceptions.

Show quote history

Absolutely. And I'll defend my child by kicking the dog if necessary.

AndImVictoriaMalcolm · 26/08/2026 20:00

What an arrogant arse, telling you that you shouldn’t have picked up your own child. If you’re dog is behaving this way as often as once a month, your dog should be on a lead by your side at all times. For a rough comparison, my toddler went through a phase of biting. I am on her case around other kids at the park, soft play, playgroup, you name it. Because she has form and can’t be trusted (but has stopped for now). If I can do that for a toddler misbehaving, this bozo can manage it for a dog.

Uppabye · 26/08/2026 20:08

Also a dog lover and owner. I'd have been absolutely livid if this happened to my child and would absolutely be reporting it given his awful attitude. I'd be reporting his comment of the dog doing it once a month too.

Chattanoogachoo · 26/08/2026 20:22

Your story is shocking and I'm a lifelong dog owner.I was in a similar position whilst walking a shihtzu and he was attacked by a collie .I didn't lift the shihtzu and the collie attacked in ever decreasing circles.I was trying to shield him from the collie but ended up going round and round in circles while the collie bit at my dogs stomach.
Not lifting the child or dog is no magical answer, the dog owner needed to have his dog under control.

luckylavender · 26/08/2026 20:56

TheHungryHungryLandsharks · 26/08/2026 13:58

I say this on every thread (and get yelled at on every thread - even though the advice is correct), but the worst thing you can do in these situations is pick a child (or dog) up. It's the one thing almost every trainer, vet, behaviourist and dog charity will tell you not to do - because it does excite dogs.

I know it's instinct, but I would really urge people to think before reacting as OP did. Not only do you excite the dog, you also leave yourself completely defenceless. You arms are wrapped around your child (or smaller dog) and you cannot defend yourself if you need. It's almost more likely that if a dog jumps at you, you will become unbalanced because you can't use your arms to steady yourself.

The best thing to do is be a barrier between your child/dog and the approaching dog.

Doesn't help as this situation has already happened, and I'm sorry it did, but I hope the above is helpful for if this happens again and to avoid other people making the same potentially dangerous mistake.

Edited

That’s a big ask when an animal you know nothing about is hurtling towards your tiny child. I know it’s what you are supposed to do.

SpiritAdder · 26/08/2026 21:06

Another arrogant entitled dog owner. I would be of half a mind to photo her injuries and report the dog as dangerously out of control