To try for baby (boy) #5?

[TrueViper]

Im 28 and my partner is 27. We have 4 boys. 8, 6 (7 in Dec), 4 and 23 months. My last pregnancy was tough and we were firmly done after he was born

Then at the start of the year we talked and we were more leaning towards baby 5 over being done but we didnt want another winter baby if we could avoid it (obviously we wouldnt have been able to fully plan) and we agreed to talk about it later in the year. We homeschool and back in January was a real struggle with homeschooling the older 2, and keeping the baby entertained he was 16 months and it was HARD because he wanted to be into everything. Also we had bug after bug and it was just not a fun time.

I then had a pregnancy scare in February that seemed to make me feel we were done but maybe because of all the stress. But now the time has gone on and I want another baby, my older 2 are going to school which is their choice so they’re starting year 4 and year 2, part of me is anxious they’ll hate it (i had bad experiences in school) but i’m happy they’re willing to try, they’re sociable children and are part of a football club and recently did a summer sports camp and we were part of a homeschooling group where we met up once a week

If they’re going to school I feel I would be able to handle baby #5, especially as there’d be over a 2.5 year age gap if we got pregnant straight away.

It’s not any of the ridiculousness about us wanting a girl as we’d likely have another boy anyway (hence the title)

WWYD?

Ridiculous comments!! Many of our grandparents were stay at home mums and dads with jobs earning less than a fireman. And they’d have more than five kids.

Of course mumsnets mind is blown a woman in her late twenties is considering her fifth child, 28 is considered young to have one child on here! I won’t say how old I was when I had my kids they’ll probably have a fit 😂

Sounds like you have a big enough home and a lovely family so if you want another go for it!

I have 4 and understand the lovely feeling of having a baby and watching the person they grow into. If money were no object, I would have more. BUT we have 4 bedrooms too, but plan to move so all dc will have their own room. We both earn 6 figure salaries and money seems tight enough. The biggest thing we can’t change is time - as pp said, time to read with each child, play games, take them out etc.

this. You’ve got plenty going on. Not fair on your kids to split parental time even more thinly.

For my part, my two children have always felt quite sufficient.

I am fortunate to live rather comfortably, and I find it difficult to envisage devoting the remainder of my life to raising children; I imagine it would prove quite exhausting.

5 kids while being unmarried? No.

If you had a rough pregnancy the last time, imagine the worst case scenario of ending up on bed rest for 3 or 4 months. If you as a family could cope with that, then consider it. If you couldn't, then don't do it.

Bliney. My DH is in a C-Suite role and sits on his company’s Board, and there’s no way we could afford this lifestyle. I’m very surprised that that it can be done on a firefighter’s wage.

I mean, I think the cost of things has increased somewhat since those days 👀

We are living in 2026 ....

Ummmm. Ok I'll say it.

Housing costs.

Don't you want to do something beyond pushing out babies? It sounds a very limited way to live.

Sure the cost of home mainly. Good job she’s inherited a house so that’s not overly relevant

If you read the thread you’d see she said she inherited a large home

It's not the children. It's that their circumstances will not make it a realistic prospect. And there's absolutely nothing wrong with not going to uni if that is your choice. But it's unlikely to even be on the table here.

Exactly. Back then, you could own property and go to Spain every summer on one wage (of someone who left school at 16). Not the case in 2026.

Except she clearly hasn’t if she’s one of 5 has she? Her partner has, apparently although this thread is very hard to believe.

What's missing in your life that you want 5 children by the time you are 29? Serious question.

You've experienced being a mum, what can a 5th baby bring that 4 doesn't ? Any new baby will also grow up and at some point you'll need a life outside having children. You must have started young, there are many other experiences to have in life. Being a mum is fabulous but youve achieved that and already have a big family, I'm not seeing what's left to achieve here unless it's a sticking plaster for something else.

Mmm, these days I think we like to give our kids nice lives, not just an existence.

Did kids back then do swimming, football, gymnastics, piano, spelling practice, drum lessons, private tuition, school laptops, nightly homework, uni at 60k each?

I doubt it. Sure, people lived. But as parents, I think we've made some progress since then in delivering quality of life for our children.

You sound obsessed with having babies. Are you ever planning on getting a job?

Even if the house is mortgage free there are still all the associated costs - council tax, gas/electric, water.
The cost of living is going up and with multiple children they will be eating bigger portions as they get older so the food bill will also increase.
I also think people are right in questioning the opportunities that might be available - with two children we limit what clubs they do due to costs. In the original post she mentions that the eldest do football clubs and summer camp, that isn't cheap and if they continue and the youngest start then I am also skeptical of how the one wage is paying for this all (and would also agree that there must be a benefit top up and also explains why the OP wants another baby as the youngest is getting to the point of her being told to look for work).

Even w/o a mortgage?

Children these days seem to have less quality of life, are less happy and more anxious than ever so what a great deal of parents are doing isn’t working!

As one of four siblings I would suggest that it is very difficult for two parents to give enough attention to 4 children, and even harder with five, so it would be unfair to have another one, unfair on both new baby and existing children.

That's a very, very big debate!

How on earth do you know ?
There are student loans etc for lower income families
My son wont be going to uni either so i totally get its not for everyone
But you have no idea of the childrens academic abilities
And yet making huge assumptions.

And if you read the thread, I questioned how that happened if she's one of 5. Unless there were 5 houses to go round. And that's before you even get to the cousins.

I'm Catholic. By the time the inheritance was split out, everyone got a tenner.

Or unless it's his house. In which case she'll be thoroughly fucked (sorry OP, not to be rude) if they separate.

We don't have social housing these days.