To think a man with five kids he barely sees won’t be considered a catch on the dating scene?

[Bezerk]

It’s my ex. I am feeling quite bitter tonight and could do with some reassurance that he won’t continue getting everything he wants…

Unfortunately women like you will always be attracted to "bad boys" so chances are, he'll be shagging left right and centre.

This isn't about whether he finds any other women.
It's not whether he is attractive.
He's not a nice man.

It's you feeling mad with yourself for getting involved in the first place.

Be kind to yourself, accept your bad choice, then move on.

It's absolutely about whether he'll find another woman. 😁

Hybristophilia.
It's a thing.

I don’t know OP, I thought my ex would land on his feet, quickly finding someone who would cater to his every whim, and pay for him as well. So far he’s not met anyone as far as I’m aware, and it’s not for want of trying, he was on tinder 10 days after our marriage broke down nearly three years ago. That said I can’t see where he has much to offer on paper and he has some funny ideas about facial hair now so maybe that’s putting women off!

Sadly this is true!

He’s a great prospect for anyone who doesn’t want kids.

If someone is naive enough to have kids with someone like that, they can’t complain when they end up bringing up the kids alone though.

Just for the record, we ( men) don't.

No, he isn't. You might not want children yourself, but that doesn't mean you don't value decency, loyalty, following through on the commitments you made by becoming.a parent. A man who can abandon his children is hardly likely to treat you with any more respect.

I guess that’s your answer. You won’t be the only one stupid enough.

Try to focus on yourself and your kids and give him as little headspace as possible.

I would agree, a close family member has 4 kids from 2 relationships that he never sees but he is never single for long. These woman absolutely don’t care, move him in with their children, engagements etc.

i assume he can explain it, ex doesn’t allow contact or they moved away and plays the victim.

Or at least a man who isn't out on bail for assault.

Every so often a thread appears that gives you a cold slap of reality about the way some people are.

He's on bail for assaulting her and the child yet the concern is if he can get a date. Ffs.

If it's any help, op, yes he won't have any issues finding someone, but as someone said, will he STAY happy?

An ex of mine (late 90s) was very charming, and was (back then) good looking. I was devastated when we split. Especially as he'd completely broken me down in so many ways, including my looks. He enjoyed dangling in my face that he'd married the woman he left me for.

Well, 2 decades later, my son (not this guy's, from my marriage in the mid 90s) ran into this ex's daughter on a night out! Ridiculous coincidence. Anyway, she told my son enough to find out that this ex had done exactly the same thing to the woman he left me for. Treated her horribly, cheated, left her gobsmacked, etc.

To say that I had zero sympathy is an understatement, as she was more than happy for him to walk out on me for her back then, and as I recall she found it rather funny when he left me for her.

Honestly, no one can say with any certainly who your ex will end up with, and if he makes it work or not. But he won't have any problems meeting anyone, no. It just doesn't work like that.

Unfortunately most men find someone willing to take them in. I don’t know what’s wrong with women, some sort of messiah complex? They will be the ones to change the twat, even when he’s had multiple children by different women who didn’t change him or he’s been married numerous times. Men also generally get more time to date and have fun after a split in most cases.

He will, and he’ll probably do well. That’s just how it is on dating sites. He won’t say he’s a shit dad, he’ll tell them all how you all keep him away from his kids and you’re all crazy etc the usual bullshit!

Yes, this is what it comes down to. Many, many years from now, you'll be reaching the end of a long, happy family life; surrounded by your precious children who have always loved you so very much, are utterly heartbroken at having to finally say Goodbye to you, and who will never forget you and the great joy that you brought to their lives for all of those decades.

Meanwhile, he will be "That awful old bloke; eugh, can you remember that waste of space?!"

You say he’s good looking. He managed to land you despite having 3 already. He’ll paint himself as a hard done by excellent father who has evil exes. Of course he’ll end up in a new relationship and, given his fecundity, probably more kids

I would imagine he might not tell them? Or if he does, he’ll minimise it and make out like he’s dad of the year! That said, any woman he ends up in a relationship with will eventually find out through her own experiences and leave anyway (my ex told me he had 1 child and the mother “wouldn’t let him see child” but I later found out he had 9 with 9 different women and walked out on all of them!)

This is the issue. I've seen plenty of threads on here where women are complaining that he spends far too much time/money/energy/effort on his own kids.

There are some women out there who, if they're honest, want him to largely leave his previous kids in the past with his ex and now focus his attention on her and her/their own new kids instead.

Most of them change their thinking vastly once they are the ex, and he moves on to the next and the next...

He's attractive and charming. He'll probably do well on OLD. His profile probably won't mention any kids at all, just like many profiles don't mention inconvenient facts like being married. He certainly won't mention being in bail for assault.

He probably can't put off mentioning his children forever, but he might be able to do so long enough to hook someone in and then say something like, "I didn't want to mention them if we didn't have a future," or whatever.

Just move on as far as you can.

If it makes you feel any better, he won't be getting a decent, well adjusted woman any time soon.

Unfortunately there will be plenty of desperate, naive or trashy women that will only be too happy to put up with his crap.

Sounds a bit like my ex partner and yes, he always has a girlfriend. He left me for someone, moved 5 hours away from his baby, and hasnt seen him/contacted him in the best part of a year. She is fully aware he has a child, so must be aware he doesnt see him, and she is okay with that. Shes only youngish (no excuse, she knew he had a family), I imagine it'll only hit her what it takes to abandon your baby when she has one herself, hopefully not with him! He is also as you describe, charismatic, charming and abusive. What a combination!

Sadly your ex will meet someone no problem, but the cycle will continue, this is who he is, he wont/cant change. I've found the best "revenge" is to never, ever contact him, never give him that satisfaction. Go through legal channels for child maintenance and let them deal with it all. I dont know what the future holds for you with regards to contact, but straight to mediation/court and no trying to sort it yourself.

Does he work? Pay you child maintenance? Pay the other mum child maintenance when u were together?

Depends on on the man. I have a brother on his own with 4 children who probably won't date again until the children are adults. He's lovely but I couldn't see any woman wanting to put herself into such a complicated situation.

This. It's always the fault of the deranged ex - who curiously is always desperate to hang on to him in the eyes of the next in line.