To think a man with five kids he barely sees won’t be considered a catch on the dating scene?

[Bezerk]

It’s my ex. I am feeling quite bitter tonight and could do with some reassurance that he won’t continue getting everything he wants…

A man who has five kids he is a good father too and spends plenty of time with them will be less attractive on the dating scene than a man with five kids he rarely sees. Because the latter has more time to date and build a relationship and fewer commitments.

Yes it’s grief. Sorry he’s a shit.

Lots of women find a man who has successfully made another woman pregnant sexually attractive.

So he was abusive to her but still happy for kids to see/stay alone with him

then you meet him. Fell for his story as sure he didn’t say anything about abuse - had 2 more kids with him and then split

yes he will find someone. Whether he lies about how many kids he has or a woman like yourself will date him

Yes, she was. I met him quite soon after the split. She would openly admit she left for her affair partner so I had no idea of the history between them, and he presented as the victim of the breakup. Basically, she wanted us to stay together as she felt I kept her kids safe, and she wanted breaks to build her new life with the new man.

He’s very attractive and charming. It was only several years in that the abusive behaviours started to emerge. I have absolutely no doubt that he’s already dating new people.

I feel absolutely stupid to have believed in him.

Amazingly, there do seem to be women out there who will get into a relationship with someone like your ex, even when they know his full history. I guess their bar is set very low.
I remember being inwardly astounded when a perfectly nice, very normal, young, attractive work colleague was having a minor gripe about her partner taking too much sick leave from of his job, when in the same conversation she casually dropped in that he had four kids with his ex, who he never sees, and his ex has a restraining order against him. I stayed polite but in my head I was screaming “what the actual f*ck do you see in this absolute charmer?!?”.
(they broke up sometime after thankfully)

So, sorry OP, he probably will find someone. But be thankful he’s out of your life now 💐

Why are you so interested in if he'll get a date?
Just why.
Are you jealous that another woman will have him?

It's OK to be upset at the end of a relationship but it seems to me that you are concerned that he'll be sharing his body with another woman.

It seems to me you've answered your own question here: if you still want him in spite of the truly terrible things he's allegedly done I'm sure somebody else will.

I've known women who've been awfully abused. They don't give a shit who their ex ends up with as long as it's away from them and their children.

Op he is looking for a a shag,

Thank your lucky stars you have rid of him,

Focus on you, save your energy for you and children only,

Don't allow him anymore head space op,

Of course, he's a catch for some women, especially if he's charming or good-looking.

Males with villages of children are apparently seen as family-oriented, even if they barely see them.

You aren't stupid to have believed he was a good person. It's not your fault he was a great liar. Don't blame yourself. Some people are master manipulators and very good at projecting what the other person wants to see. Hindsight is 20/20, but being in the moment filled with the desire to love and be loved can cloud your vision and blot out the red flags. It happens to a lot of people.

Actually a man with five children that he DOES see is less of a prospect. A man who isn’t spending time with his kids has the time for a new partner.

My friend married a guy who didn't see his children. She knew he was divorced but married him not knowing how many previous wives he'd had. He'd been married three times as she later discovered. All the exes were off their rockers and cheated, apparently.

He stole her money and jewellery. Even his parents warned her about him. She said later that she just didn't want to be by herself and couldn't believe a guy who looked like him would be interested in her.

I think this is wise advice.
Though I suspect she'll be spending a lot of time on SM to see who he is 'dating'.

This is not an outrageous claim: she's asking randoms on the Internet, isn't she?

Personally, if a man treated me like this I'd just be glad that he was leaving me and the children alone he could be dating the current Miss World for all I cared but there you go.

I'm not in the dating market but when I was, a man with any children at all was a 'no'. It's a catch 22 -

A. Man with children he cares about and sees - you are always (rightly for them but not for you) going to come behind them in his priorities and affections.

B. Man with children he barely sees - a red flag as far as his maturity and sense of responsibility goes. Who wants a man who can bin his own kids off just like that?

I don't have children of my own. If I did, Man A. would probably be OK because I'd be in the same boat myself of wanting to put my children first.

I can't imagine anyone being attracted to Man B, whether it was one child he'd abandoned or 10.

So you dated him knowing he had 3 children he hardly saw? So obviously yes there are women, including yourself, who will happily date dead beat dads for some reason unknown to me.
Expect child no.6 will be on the way shortly.

Many of us do stupid thing but many hint is he’s out of your life now and kids if abusive

don’t worry if he meets someone else

or be thankful if he does and will leave you alone

Unfortunately, there will always be women who will take him on and think they’ll be okay as a SM. Next thing you know they’ll be on MN asking if AIBU boyfriend keeps leaving the kids with me and going out with his mates.

He will have s sob story. You're crazy and keep him from his kids. He'll soon be found out. Bitterness is allowed x

If he's hot and has a decent job - he will still be of interest. No question. If he also has a good social position he will be beating them off with a spade..

Well then he will find dates.

But there are no guarantees he will be happy.

And you need to stop basing your happiness on his outcomes.

@Bezerk if it makes you feel better I dumped a very hot guy after finding out he had 4 kids (by two women) he barely saw and didn't mention for four months. He even suggested he could have more with me!! I was out in a shot as I felt disgusted he was that sort of father.

I don't think that it's bitterness. I think to be concerned about whether or not he'll be a 'catch' when dating indicates she's jealous he'll meet someone else.

A man who allegedly assaulted a toddler and instead of 'How the hell do I keep this man away forever?' she's concerned about if he'll date again.

Well I’d have thought the same about a Man with 3 kids he barely sees, but it seems he reeled you in, so he’ll probably reel someone else in.

Sorry but no. He'll be fine. Esp if he's charming.

Years ago, my then-good friend from university went on to have a few kids by different women. This made absolutely no difference to other women out there. Some women actually seemed to get turned on by it. He always did really well for himself female company-wise, and is now settled with the most gorgeous and sensible woman who is a senior midwife. He must be on about his 7th child by now. (don't speak anymore)

Not trying to make you feel bad, as these are just facts, and what your ex does now doesn't make any difference to your life anyway.

why do you care if he has another relationship?
He's on bail for hitting you and he's left you with 2 young children.

Bizarrely for too many women the shitter the man the more attractive they seem to find him.