Feeling awful about son's accident in the pool

[Lolarose999]

We're on holiday at the moment.. Me, DH, and DS3.

I've never panicked so much and the guilt is killing me.

I was sat in the baby pool with DS, who had a zip up life vest on.. we were playing catch, when I heard DH shout from the pool side bar asking me what side I wanted with my lunch. I turned my head to the side to shout over my response, so didnt leave the pool..This interaction was 10-15 seconds tops.

When i turned back around, DS was on his back, the vest had lifted his chest and legs upwards, but his head was under the water. From seeing and getting him out, I was maybe 2 arms lengths away, and had him up so quick.

I feel so awful, the guilt is eating away at me. He was absolutely hysterical. Hes been checked over by the life guard and also by the hotel doctor, and is thankfully fine. But its the image in my mind that's sticking with me, the fear. The thought of seeing him with such panic. I keep crying thinking how its all my fault, how scared he must have been.

Not an aibu, but just feel so incredibly guilty and hoping he forgets this happened, even if it sticks with me for a long time.

You've not read all of OP's posts have you?

This comment isnt fair.

If you said this to my DD, she absolutely would not agree. My daughter is so gifted in Ballet and has danced for her home centre since she was 10, and has been selected to appear in a show at the end of the year in our cities town hall, this production is huge for her, and has been years in the making to get this far.

I take the criticism re the vest. And, im looking at more centres / 121s to make sure both can be a priority.

I’m sure we’ve all known a Mum like you in the playground…. Yawn

Ah OP, it’s totally understandable that you’re feeling this way. But you were being a responsible parent, you didn’t leave his side and just took your eyes off him for a few seconds. That’s why he’s ok. Hopefully the shock will wear off soon. I agree with others to ditch the life vest and get back in the pool again tomorrow.

@ToffeePennie🏆🏆 best mother in the whole world ever award goes to…. YOU! Well done for your excellent swimmers. You are, quite simply, the queen of us all. We bow down to your superior parenting. Really, well done. Bra fucking vo.

No harm done, don’t beat yourself up about it. You were right there and able to solve the problem. About 15 years ago we were in a small outdoor toddlers’ pool and our daughter would have been about the same age. All fine, until we looked around for a few seconds, then looked at her, and she had her face in the water. It took a couple of seconds for us to realise that she was not cutely looking into the water to see if there were some fish, or whatever - she had tipped forward in this shallow pool and couldn’t find a way back up. A millisecond more of panic and we got her out. It was really upsetting at the time but there was no damage and I don’t think I’ve thought about it more than a couple of times (probably driving past that place) since, until seeing this thread. But I’m sure it made us subconsciously more cautious, which is all good.

Please stop crying and get back to being happy and relaxed. Your son may well have been very startled and found the experience momentarily unpleasant, but the terror is your projection. He will not have been aware of the danger. Just that he fell in the water, it shocked him, then mum scooped him up. The important thing is not to let him think this was a big terrible thing as he could learn from your reaction to be scared of water.
And remember, accidents happen. You were there to prevent it being worse. So you've nothing to feel guilty about.

I’m so sorry this has happened to you OP. It could have happened to anyone and I hope you can enjoy the rest of your holiday. Could I ask the brand of the vest? We’ve been using a Konfidence one with my daughter but now I’m wondering if we need to bin ours too?

Expect he’s running his own training by now

Mine started swimming straight out of the womb, as soon as they were in the birthing pool.

I don't think that now is the time to be making her feel worse. I'm sure there's plenty of three year olds that haven't had swimming lessons practically from birth. None of my 5 kids had swim lessons as babies and I would guess that plenty of other parents on here somewhere probably don't send their newborns into swimming classes either.

Yes, it's very hard for parents to get their children into the local classes.

I had a very similar experience with DS when he was about two.
No life vest involved, he was in a round paddling pool about a foot deep with all the parents sitting around the sides watching their children.
I don’t even know how it happened but one second he was playing, the next he was floating upside down in the water. All the parents seemed to spot it at once and jumped up to grab him. He was completely fine, not even upset but I was terrified and still feel sick when I think back to it, ten years on.
One of the lovely men who had been sitting by the pool approached me afterwards almost in tears, feeling guilty that it had happened beside his feet and he’d not seen it.
These things can just happen so quickly you really can’t take your eyes off them
for a second.
Try not to feel guilty, he’s fine and will soon forget about it - even if you don’t.

I lost mine in a historical war re-enactment... Everyone had to stop re-enacting and form a search party.

He's a full grown man now but I still bring it up periodically. Special occasions and the like.

Sorry OP, rotten thing to happen x

I thank god for incidents like this. I see them as little warnings from God to remind us and show us what can happen. I’ve had quite a few with my daughters (a dodgy huggy brake was one).

Classic MN.

What???? This is absolutely not true!

It's a good point actually. 3 year olds also get hysterical about the wrong coloured bowl for breakfast. That yellow bowl is genuinely a massive trauma for them in the moment, but it all gets fixed and life is all good again.

I'm sure he was frightened, but the reason it feels so awful to you is because you know the seriousness of it. It doesn't mean he'll always remember it as a terrible thing.

I once broke my finger when it was locked in a door, they couldn't get the door open for some time. All I can really remember is that I wasn't able to speak to draw attention to it (must have really hurt), but I don't remember it hurting or being really upset. I mostly remember that I was given the most enormous amount of chocolate mousse afterwards that it's kind of categorised in the 'good childhood memories' file. I'm pretty sure the chocolate mousse is the only reason I really remember it.

We have a winner everyone!!!!

Either this is perfect smug mum satire or we really have the cunty post of the decade!!!

😂😂😂

A less confident swimmer is more cautious of their surroundings, less likely to think they can handle the waves or if the water gets rough, experienced swimmers often overestimate their ability over the unpredictability of the sea. Especially with teenagers.

I remember reading about issues with the life vests when mine were babies. I feel really uncomfortable when I see toddles in them. They shouldn’t be allowed to be sold.

Getting to the pool regularly with him, building his confidence in the water and teaching him yourself should be fairly easy if you are confident in the water yourself.

It’s quicker if you don’t use arm bands.

@Dingaling47wow they’re sent to try us aren’t they. Of all the places!!

😂 💯

This is exactly why we don’t use life vests or bands or anything other than a noodle and why my kids have done swimming “lessons” since 10 weeks old. They don’t get freaked out by being under water even before they can swim themselves. Maybe practice some going under and coming back up so he’s not freaked out by it.