To feel fed up about us struggling on DH low salary

[HumphreysGang]

Does anyone else have a DH who earns as little as £56,500 salary?
My DH does and it is so difficult to survive financially on his low salary in the SE.
I am surrounded by friends whose husbands all earn well in excess of £100,000+ a year. The difference in lifestyle, including affordability of house size, extensions, cars, holidays, etc. is huge. They are all living the dream and we are struggling to death.
Just wondering if anyone else has a husband on this level of low salary?
And yes I work. 30 hours a week. My money pays for extras. His is the main income to cover the major costs (except it doesn't and we are permanently in the red).
He'll never earn more as he's at top of his salary point.
Nor will I due to our SEN DC and their needs which have severely thwarted my previous plans for career progression.

Nothing makes me more depressed than a mumsnet post about salaries

mine is on 30 odd k a year and we are not well off and are given universal credit top ups monthly after they moved us off of child tax credits few years ago. Its sad, isnt it.

Your expectations are v high.

We earn more but still couldn't afford extensions or new cars. We live in a terraced house with one 12 year old car and a house that needs work. And both work full time in above average paying jobs (with SEN kids). Yes more money would be nice of course. But we have food on the table, can pay our bills, can enjoy days out and don't have to stress about the essentials.

Unbelievable post or is it joke.
OP needs to grow up !!!!!

I expect if you listed your income and actual outgoings there would be ways you could save money.

Bloody hell I earn £17,000 less than that and somehow manage to run a house all on my own from it. But then I don't surround myself with people earning £100,000 plus and then compare what they have to what I have. You're hard pushed to find anyone on that kind of money round here anyway, and if they do, then they don't flaunt it.

Perhaps a change of mindset/location is in order.

is this a state school or private and wasn’t there a 2nd hand uniform sale for new parents

Why did you marry someone whose salary and salary potential you're not happy with? Seems counter-productive to marry a "low-earner" when you want a champagne lifestyle.

That's more than me and DH earn, both working full-time 🙃

Time to relocate?

My DH earns around 30k. I earn fractionally less. We're in the SW though.

I don't think your dh's salary is that low at all but everything's relative. Sounds like you're mixing with people significantly better off than you. Happens to us all and yes it can be difficult but you get used to it. All you can do is work as a team with the resources you have.

ETA: just read your update. Sounds like time to relocate, this isn't sustainable.

Lots of people earn less, including my dh.

As an aside, an average salary - when in one part of the country £X will buy you a mansion and in another part a grotty studio flat - is fairly meaningless. There could be a £5k monthly disparity between the mortgage on the exact same sized house in two different parts of country.

Your living beyond your means !
Simple the story as old of time !
I don't understand all the keeping up with Jones
What has happened to starting of in a modest house and working yourself up the ladder or just be content with a small mortgage that u can manage on your income same with cars and most stuff everyone seems to just want the best biggest shiniest things it's so materialistic!
Happy people not bothered by this stuff !
Most people that are living in the red will never be happy with their lot !

DLA isn't means tested FYI

So you earn together more like £80,000 plus? Your OP is misleading. That isn't too bad.

I don't consider myself "struggling" and I earn less than your DH. I also don't know anyone who earns £100k, so maybe I'm mixing in the wrong circles. On balance, I think I'm happy where I am!!!

You only have to have 3 items of uniform with a logo, 4 if it's a senior school which has a tie. Still expensive but not as bad as it was.

How disabled is your child? Claim DLA if it is needed. Sorry I misread and you do have a SEN child.

Wow I thought you would be moaning about DH on minimum wage! That is what I earn, my DH earns a far less , also in SE with one SEN child and another. We've had two holidays this and have enough left to save £500-£800 per month.

Maybe you need to move to a cheaper bit of the SE if you can't manage. Look at DLA , it's not means tested, and you will be entitled to child benefit. You need to stop comparing yourself to other people, you will never be happy with that approach. Aren't there other things you and your family members have done that you can be proud of , that aren't financial?

Some people have beautiful homes but are drowning in debt. You can't judge happiness by the size of a house or the brand of a car. They aren't going to tell you if they're struggling. They just keep on going like you're doing, OP.

Assuming they're not struggling, though, it has no bearing on your life.

Is he able to move to a new job for a higher wage? A different area? Are you able to find a new job with a different wage and similar hours?

What have you considered doing as a solution?

That would be my focus.

If you aren't entitled to child benefit then the two of you together must be earning a lot?

My DH has 35 years in publishing, yet "only" earns £42k. He's certainly worth at least what your DH earns, but the way AI is taking over the world, he's always worrying about what might happen if he was made redundant.

I'm on less than minimum wage as a part time freelance copywriter, so our income is by no means high, and combined less than your DH.

He is very fortunate to have more than the average salary.

I used to get used school uniforms at PTA sales. They were literally pence. Also check next door and Facebook and all that for people giving away old uniforms.

Happy to help

School uniforms have always been money maker, even back in the '60s when I went to secondary school. Our uniform had to come from a local shop that sold uniforms for all the secondary schools - we had green blouses for goodness sake so they couldn't be sourced elsewhere! But I think the quality of clothes was better then. My blazer was 2nd hand, lasted until I left at 16 to go to college and was sold on. My skirt was bought long and again lasted until I left.