AIBU to change schools over my husband helping a neighbour?

[Schoolchanging]

Dh had always done school drop off and pick up due to my work hours and over the last 18 months I’d got increasingly irritated by him walking with or giving a lift to a neighbour whose child goes to the same school.

So I decided we would change dc to a different school a little further away and they are due to start there in a couple of weeks.

I didn’t want to spend time on discussions and boundaries and wanted to just eliminate the stress on our relationship. I told him I wasn’t comfortable that I’d asked him to stop and as he wasn’t I was changing schools to which he said ‘fine that’s your choice’. Dc are ok about it as we know people who go to the new school as well.

Neighbour has just spoken to us as we were leaving at the same time and she said to dh ‘back to the usual routine soon then!’ And I said ‘actually no, dc are going to be at a different school so all change for us !’ To which she turned to dh and said ‘why haven’t you told me this already?’ Which I found odd.

Couple of things. I mean obviously everyone has already pointed out how wild this is! But have you ever spoken to her to address her over familiar-ness? The car pack is odd and I’d question that for sure, but actually to her. Also have you ever thought how this looks to your DH? The level of distrust it implies? That you’d uproot and move your kids school because you’re concerned he’d have an affair with a neighbour ?! The fact he didn’t challenge this move makes me wonder just how much of your insecurities he’s having to manage. You’re effectively pushing him away.

No - stop making the husband's poor management of this situation, the OP's fault!
She has already stated that her h has other female friends and there's no issue. Neighbour has been way out of line and h has not had his wife's back. This is on him for failing to shut down the neighbour.
Personally, I would struggle to remain married to someone who, at best was weak and pathetic and at worst, disloyal.

After reading your OP and replies, I find it funny that mums net always say trust your gut then turn around and slam you for trusting your gut. If your husband wont listen and shes blanking you and leaving stuff in his car thats weird. Why do both of them need to do the school run? Trust your gut she wants something.

Good for you for not pretending it's all normal, and for seeing her for what she is.

I'd never forgive him for humiliating you in the first place. He obviously knows she's heavily interested in him and has been reciprocating at least verbally. It must feel very satisfying to pull the rug right out from under her in this way.

But if he's determined to fuck her/continue flirting with her, he will. As you say though at least you won't have to see her at school.

This is beyond bizarre. But I assume you've ascertained this from the responses, but it bothers you none.

I'm just appalled that 14% of respondents think that changing schools on this basis is reasonable

But the OP has said they are new to the area and didn’t get their first choice of schools and it works well to move the kids.

I'm sorry this is weird behaviour towards your Husband and unfair to the Child, you are making their lives miserable

You must be so Insecure. I pity you

Yes, but they decided on a school and the children were/are established in the school!

I’m assuming the OP has binned the “care pack”. What a cheek. Dunno bout moving schools, think I’d want to move house. She sounds horrible, cadging lifts, moving her stuff into the car and blanking OP.

Strokes chin

I did originally think it was an overreaction but subsequent posts saying how much easier it would be for wraparound care and you to do the pickups etc made me think fair enough.

But that frankly bizarre ‘care pack’? Your instincts are correct to be bothered by that.

WTF? Crazy.

“So I decided we would change dc school”

No, you decided you would change dc school.

Absolute unreasonable control freak 🤦🏻‍♀️

Seriously? Moving children schools just because dad is being nice and offering a neighbour and her child a lift. You sound really insecure. I feel for your DC because they are technically being punished just because dad was being nice. Moving schools is a huge thing for a child and shouldn't be taken lightly as they'll be leaving teachers, classmates and be the new kid. Its not a nice place to be.

i thought you were over reacting initially. But I'd be annoyed if a neighbour stuck a 'care pack' of toiletries in my car in case hubbie gave them a lift and looked at me daggers whilst being friendly with hubbie. I suspect you can see an 'under-mining' threat that men are often oblivious to..... given that it's a better school and easier for you to do drop off's in future plus the wrap around I'm inclined on this occasion to think YANBU