AIBU to change schools over my husband helping a neighbour?

[Schoolchanging]

Dh had always done school drop off and pick up due to my work hours and over the last 18 months I’d got increasingly irritated by him walking with or giving a lift to a neighbour whose child goes to the same school.

So I decided we would change dc to a different school a little further away and they are due to start there in a couple of weeks.

I didn’t want to spend time on discussions and boundaries and wanted to just eliminate the stress on our relationship. I told him I wasn’t comfortable that I’d asked him to stop and as he wasn’t I was changing schools to which he said ‘fine that’s your choice’. Dc are ok about it as we know people who go to the new school as well.

Neighbour has just spoken to us as we were leaving at the same time and she said to dh ‘back to the usual routine soon then!’ And I said ‘actually no, dc are going to be at a different school so all change for us !’ To which she turned to dh and said ‘why haven’t you told me this already?’ Which I found odd.

Lol x

Yes, I'm sad to mention this is exactly what I was just wondering too🙏

This 👆 so rather than address the issue with your husband, you put your children through a huge upheaval. They will need to make new friends and may be ‘picked on’ because they are the new kids. Wow!

If you are that insecure why didn't you speak to your Husband?

That's quite extreme and totally unfair to your kids if it's a jealousy thing you might need to give your head a little wobble and question your relationship/marriage!!

So you have taken your children away from all their friends because your husband was giving a lift to a neighbour. Thats what people do, its called being neighbourly. Of course you would give someone a lift if their kids were at the same school and you had the room. I find it quite unbelievable that you have done this.

Poor child, poor husband, you sound unhinged.

To be fair to OP, how many people here would feel comfortable about a neighbour blanking them, staring adoringly at DH, and creating a "personal care pack" in his car. The latter being very strange behaviour indeed.
I think it might be a case of having to meet this woman, to understand.

You put your DC through a school move because your DH wouldn't stop giving your neighbour a lift! You are being very unreasonable.
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wtaf have I just read. You’ve moved your kids school for the second time in 2.5 years, for this. Moving schools is a big thing for a child. Honestly, you sound insane.

I think you really need to get some help as this is not normal behaviour ! And as you think this is Normal and justified is even more worrying .

This has to be a made up story by some attention seeking, bored woman.. surely.

You sound extremely insecure in your marriage, that’s not your neighbours issue, it’s yours. Your poor child having to uproot schools because of you insecurity’s, madness.

I trust him
No you don’t.
And this is where you need to start addressing issues.
You told him you were uncomfortable and asked him to stop and he carried on. He disregarded your feelings.

You sound nuts 🥜, nowt like putting yourself first!

Definitely bonkers, but reading OP's updates she needs to deal with her dick of a DH.

If posters bothered to rtft, they'd know that the kids were fine with the move because they already know people at the new school, that OP is not making her own life harder because if it all goes tits up with the h, this new school allows OP to do the school run and has wraparound care, she did try to speak to the h, who was a complete fucking wet lettuce and has prioritised the neighbour, thus proving it's sensible for OP to organise her life so that she can get her kids to school and it wasn't just jealousy over a perfectly normal school run interaction - crazy bitch neighbour ignores OP and fawns over the h and has left her 'care package' in their car!
Personally I'd be inclined to shove her care package up husbands arse, so I think OP has been quite restrained in just moving schools.

The kids will be fine - moving to a school where they already know people is not akin to being sent down the mines. The way some posters put the boot in, largely without bothering to read OP's posts is shocking!

First post nails it.

I'm convinced this can't be real.

Nobody is this psycho surely.

If you think he's shagging the neighbour he certainly won't be doing it on the school run.

There's nothing odd about her comment. Any reasonable person would tell their neighbour the kids are changing school, especially if you normally car share.

I can only conclude that this is rage bait.

What a terrible reason to muck about with your child’s schooling which is essentially to avoid having an adult conversation with your DP.

What stood out for me is her demanding to know why he hadnt told her, like she was owed this. Sounds more than "neighbours chatting on the school run" to me even if only to her.

ETA the "care pack" is her pissing on your territory. That would be going in the bin, in a very obvious way where and when she is watching.

I'm very confused. Was he doing the drop off and pick up in his nip? Were they snogging as the kids walked to the car?

I just read the posts - you don't have a school problem. You have a husband problem. This was the easiest vote I have ever cast in AIBU.

I wish you would reread your posts. You sound unwell. What will you do when he speaks to another school mom you don't like? You do know that if he truly does want to continue this friendship with the mom, he still will find a way, right?

Poor husband agreed with it it seems which is just as odd