AIBU to change schools over my husband helping a neighbour?

[Schoolchanging]

Dh had always done school drop off and pick up due to my work hours and over the last 18 months I’d got increasingly irritated by him walking with or giving a lift to a neighbour whose child goes to the same school.

So I decided we would change dc to a different school a little further away and they are due to start there in a couple of weeks.

I didn’t want to spend time on discussions and boundaries and wanted to just eliminate the stress on our relationship. I told him I wasn’t comfortable that I’d asked him to stop and as he wasn’t I was changing schools to which he said ‘fine that’s your choice’. Dc are ok about it as we know people who go to the new school as well.

Neighbour has just spoken to us as we were leaving at the same time and she said to dh ‘back to the usual routine soon then!’ And I said ‘actually no, dc are going to be at a different school so all change for us !’ To which she turned to dh and said ‘why haven’t you told me this already?’ Which I found odd.

That's absolutely mad and really unfair on your kids. Your kids are only 2.5 years into a big move and you're upheaving them again because you're insecure about a neighbour and/or your husband is a dick?

The 'do something about it' would be - talk to the neighbour, talk to her husband, if the husband won't stop the lifts accept that the husband clearly cares more about the neighbour and that the problem is OP's marriage, not the kid's school... the school is nothing to do with it. OP's husband is the issue, or her insecurities are, and she's instead done something as disruptive as moving schools for her children instead of dealing with the glaring problem.

Are you mentally unhinged?? Why would you do that? On what grounds did you request a place at new school?

I hope to god this is just rage baiting.
If not op sounds completely unhinged. Poor kids.

You have uprooted your children and moved them to a new school because you don’t like your husband walking to school with a neighbour? Unbelievable. Next you’ll be complaining they can’t settle and they have mental health issues and they need EHCPs.

Surely this isn’t real?! Your poor children. If you don’t trust your husband you need to address that and the issues in your relationship not punish your child for it?!

Surely you should have put your kids needs first and left them in the previous school they were settled in! Regarding your husband, you obviously suspect him of having some sort of affair with this meighbour, and unfortunately if he’s capable of that, then he can do it in any location. It’s not something you can control. This is also likely to create an unbreakable rift between you both. I think you have overreacted, and sacrificed your kids, when the relationship is likely on its way out anyway.
Hope I’m wrong, good luck

You’re a crank. He should divorce you.

Poor kids, you obviously don’t take your children’s education seriously

You poor kid. Like a pawn in a game. If my husband micro managed & didnt trust me. He be gone. I hope your husband sees sense. You are extreme and very selfish. You kid has to up and leave their friends because Mummy is insecure

Does this neighbour drive?

Sure, that's the reason!

Unless there's a lot more that you haven't said yes you are being unreasonable and you have made your child into a pawn in a struggle with your husband. In his place I would have had a great deal to say about you unilatterally changinjg schools has he learned not to challenge you or engage with decision making. Like I said unless there's a lot more history you are being unreasonable and it is exactly this bbehyaviour in either men or women that drive people out of relationships

This is more like a storyline from EastEnders than real life.
Granted your neighbour seems like a first class bitch who has the hots for your husband and wants to keep you at arms length. Not nice, I get that but moving your child’s school - that’s a big thing to do and will never be forgotten - by anyone.
i hope this doesn’t backfire on you.

Was your child happy there? Seems bonkers to put a child through upheaval because dad made friends ?!

What an odd reaction to giving a neighbours child a lift !
Easier just end the lifts !

You need to grow the fuck up! What if you'd made friends with a male dropping his kids off at school? Guess it would be different then! What a pathetic excuse to move your children to a different school! Mind you nothing surprises me on MN these days! 🙄

If nothing is going on i would find it completely normal for a neighbour my DH regularly did pick ups for to say something about him not mentioning it.

My problem would be you told DH his rship with her was a problem and he didnt care.

At first I thought a) YABU and b) this is a 'click-bait' post. But after RTWT I've changed my mind. The new school has positive advantages. Not least, better wrap-around care. As it's nearer your work, you will be able to do drop-offs/collects, which will connect you, 1st-hand, with other parents & life at the school gates. You think / have heard it's a better school - this is significant. All this and you manage to dump the importunate neighbour. I'm on your side OP.

You must be so Insecure. I pity you

What was about the situation was irrirating you? If he has a history of cheating or flirting then fair enough, other than that I can't see why you would do this

Am I reading this right? You do realise if he IS having some sort of relations with this neighbour she is a neighbour and he can continue doing that no matter where your kids go to school? Very short sighted of you OP and ridiculous! You've probably just made your life a lot more difficult.

OP whatever insecurities you have please look into how you can handle them before you do more uprooting to your child’s life. This pattern of behaviour is the type they notice and remember, and you don’t want to risk straining your relationship in the future.

Does your DH know you don't trust him?
You can't stop anything happening with anyone by moving children to different schools.