AIBU to insist my parents book a hotel for their visit?

[WalkBackwards]

We have moved house recently and our parents have been wanting to visit. We have said they can but that they will have to book a hotel as the spare bedrooms aren’t ready yet, or they can wait another couple of months and everything will be done in the house so they can then stay with us.

They asked if there are beds in the spare rooms, which there are, so they suggested one of our children (adult and teenager) could sleep in there and they could have their room. I said no as the spare rooms are messy and being used for storage. They have now messaged our children to ask if they mind sleeping in another room so they can have their bedroom. I called my mum and told her not to do that, we had said no and if they want to visit, they need to get a hotel or wait.

Were we unreasonable to say no to this? My parents plan to visit for 2 weeks at the start of September. My oldest child is only here til just after they plan to leave as he is going back to uni and my teenager needs her own space for studying as she is starting year 13.

Yes, I’m fully aware of that I was just pointing out how utterly ridiculous it is.

Could they stay in an hotel for their first week and with you for the second? That way they get to spend some time with your DC before they go back to Uni and your other DC keeps to their own room or will they not compromise at all?

You did not suggest they sleep on the spare room

They asked to sleep in the spare room. You said NO!

I said no as the spare rooms are messy and being used for storage

I can’t find the post now but someone asked if my parents could have our room. They can but we are having a new en suite bathroom fitted with tradesmen coming in from 7.30am in the time my parents plan to visit. My parents don’t want to have to be up early to be out of their way.

We have a lot of ongoing work going on in the house, it would be so much easier if they just delayed coming for a while. I’ve tried to explain how stressful it is having work done on the house while also working from home but they don’t seem to understand.

Just say you’ll have to take us as you find us! My mum would be quite happy with that and would probably get stuck in helping us sort out!

Why are you being so aggressive?

You are also wrong. My parents have not offered to sleep in the spare room. They asked if the spare rooms had bed and when I said yes they suggested one of my children sleep in there.

Exactly. It's your home. You're the adults. It's not their choice or your childrens.

Are they short of money? And if so, why don't they just wait a bit?

Your parents sound very unreasonable.
How much time would they spend in the bedroom anyway, if they’re going to be out and about exploring during the day, then presumably having dinner and spending the evening downstairs with you all?
When you’re asleep you can’t see if your room is decorated or not … as long as you have a decent bed and are not sleeping on boxes instead of a mattress, you have what you need.
You have given them reasonable choices.

Try again and stop being so aggressive,

I said

“They asked if there are beds in the spare rooms, which there are, so they suggested one of our children (adult and teenager) could sleep in there and they could have their room. I said no as the spare rooms are messy and being used for storage.”

Seriously, what is your problem?

So the spare bedroom is ok for your parents
but not your teens?

Why can’t they sleep on the random bed in the spare room? My mum used to sleep on the sofa or an inflatable mattress on the floor of the lounge, because I had a co-sleeping baby or toddler during those years and we didn’t have a spare room. We don’t move beds for anyone. If you want to stay here, you sleep where there is somewhere to put you. My kids don’t get kicked out of their rooms.

You are annoying me now. I have explained why my children need their rooms.

You got it WRONG, then quoted out of context, but are continuing to pick and be unnecessarily aggressive. Go away, I won’t be responding to any further posts of yours.

I think you have to put your foot down here. Having them stay for two weeks when you have so much going on will be stressful. If they have high standards then workmen and you juggling work etc may not meet those standards.

2 weeks is far too long. Won’t they drive you mad?!

suggest 2-3 nights in spare room or they get hotel or they delay and come later for 2-3 nights. If they want to see your son then 2/3 options will work.

I say 2-3 nights as that’s the max I could manage but realise some people have better relationships or tolerance levels than me!!

The fact.they have gone behind your back and tried to cause a split is unforgiveable. You have explained the situation and that should be enough. Two weeks stay when you are already very busy is too much. They should find a b and b for a few days if they want to see your son. That's a long time for two people to stay anyway and it's not just sleeping but presumably meals etc.

Well done OP, some people just love to start a pointless argument.

Ignore them. Some people tie themselves in knots trying to catch people out.

She’s explained why it’s not an option for her teens.
Yanbu at all @WalkBackwards.

Why any thread? You seem very angry today, I hope you are ok.

That’s very cheeky of them, if they are so desperate to visit them it’s a hotel or wait a few months.
I certainly wouldn’t want people stay with me for TWO WEEKS when the house is in turmoil!

My children need their bedrooms which I have explained.

genuine question but why the “need”? The spare room is too messy for your kids but fine for your folks

so why do your kids need their rooms and the spare room is too messy for them?

Op has explained that in numerous posts

Why are you being so aggressive? Did you miss this bit?

We have said they can sleep in there and we will sort it out enough for them