AIBU to feel fed up with my husband on holiday?

[Itsa10fromLen]

My god I need to vent! On holiday, OH just cannot come around in the mornings. I know it’s supposed to be a holiday for everyone but how much sleep does one person need? Technically the kids aren’t up so he doesn’t need to be but it’s hard to find a man attractive that needs 10 hours sleep every night and that sets an alarm to sleep through! He also would be upset to miss breakfast (I wouldn’t) so I’m making sure he’s up (I know I should leave him but I can’t stand the grumbling if I didn’t)

And if he tells me he’s sweating and red hot one more time so help me god! Constantly telling us what food he’s had like we can’t see.

I don’t like him, being this close has made that more obvious 😭

If he asks me if I’m having a nice time is it cruel to say no?

They just want to have a go because I stated a fact that he’s fat. I know every almost every single person on this thread would like me in real life so I’m not offended. The people who ask my I’m not calling the kids lazy like it’s not scientifically proven that young children need more sleep 😂. He’s literally setting an alarm that is waking only me! He wants to go for breakfast but he also can’t come round in the morning which is infuriating. I dare them to tolerate that and not be spewing a few expletives! You can’t even vent in here without someone telling you you’re awful. So far I’ve been to the gym, been for a walk, tidied around, of course I’ve told him he’s being ridiculous. Obviously I’ve told him to stop telling me he’s hot and sweating and of course he wasn’t like this from day 1. Looks like I’ll have to rant in my head from now on 🙈

It’s an AI generated title that I didn’t change and I refer to him as my OH in the thread, It changes absolutely nothing you stalker.

Let him miss breakfast every morning- especially since he's fat he doesn't need it. Turn his alarm off before going to bed.

Not with kids IMO no.

Haha I might do.

Venting is one thing, viciousness is quite another.

My DH can piss me off but I'd never tell the world he's a fat lazy loser I'd like to murder.

But the children are not up? A couple of times on our recent holiday I woke before DH and DS, I either sat on the patio and read my book or went for a swim (swim up room), and my husband is neither fat nor lazy. I slept 9 hours last night, because ds is with grandparents and DH was out for the night, it was gloriously refreshing. You sound very rude and judgemental.
The alarm going off would surely only be a problem if it woke you but you stated you are already up and at the gym, so what's the issue?

You have no idea how much this resonates. My husband is a low-energy, needs lots of sleep person. I'm the opposite. We are currently on a city break and I've decided to consult with a divorce attorney when we get back. His passivity, neediness and general "I don't mind, what do you want to do?" is making me murderous. No advice but lots of solidarity.

😂 love this answer! Problem solved!

Is this your first holiday together? Is he like this at home?
I think some people need a holiday to catch up on lost sleep if they have been working hard.
However I would turn off his alarm and go to breakfast on my own. No need to do everything together on holiday.

I don't think that's the problem. OP doesn't like him. If she didn't love him but liked him that would work, but if you don't like someone that's a total ick.

Well, aren’t you the sweetest, kindest person, @Scotlandc.

Thank you! I do so much that I don’t want to do for the sake of others (mainly him - currently helping him find something he lost because he doesn’t look after his things) that I don’t think getting up before 9.30am on holiday is too much to ask. Especially when he likes a breakfast and insinuates he wants to get up earlier! You would think no one had ever been furious with their partner before. It’s not my experience in real life but I guess it’s easy on here to tell me how awful I am. Next time I hear a friend or colleague say they could kill their other half I’ll be sure to tell them how awful they are.
Mine does the ‘whatever you want.’ But then moans that he is in a spot that’s too warm or too tight etc.
Good luck with the divorce x

He’s literally setting an alarm that is waking only me! He wants to go for breakfast but he also can’t come round in the morning which is infuriating.

If that was the focus of your post, you’d have very different responses. It wasn’t, though. You were frothing about him having the audacity to sleep 10 hours.

Because I genuinely think 10+ hours a night with small children whilst on holiday is ludicrous. I won’t change my stance on that.

That made me laugh!

Again, if you posted about DH sleeping in and leaving you to do all the childcare whilst on holiday, we’d all be supporting you. That’s not what you posted.

The children were still asleep at the time, you were apparently just disgusted that he needed more sleep than you deem appropriate.

Totally agree with you. Holidays with kids are mainly about them having a great time, IMO. Don't get me wrong, I still enjoy holidays with my son, but holidays with him are definitely less relaxing than pre-kids holidays 😂

He sounds infuriating, you said earlier you've realised you don't actually like him, so maybe this will be the push you need to leave?

Hopefully it’s the push I need to get him to leave. It’s my house (his home granted, I’m not a monster)

Make small changes to make the rest of if the holiday tolerable for yourself...

Make it clear that tomorrow you wont be waking him, so if he doesn't get up, he misses breakfast.

If his alarm is genuinely waking you and you don't want to get up, tell him not to set his as he doesn't wake anyway and set your own for whatever time you want

Suggest you each get some time to yourself, whether that be a morning or afternoon and the other plays with the kids.

Stop doing things that annoy you like looking for his lost things, you aren't doing it because you want to or from a place of care, its just irritating you so stop doing in.

And maybe relax some of your ideas. There isn't a problem if he wants to lie in until the kids are awake, why be up before he needs to just because you decide laying in is lazy, but he needs to accept that he may miss breakfast if he does that.

If you still can't stand the bloke, take steps to end things when you get home

But you said the kids are asleep! So it doesn't matter that hes on holiday with small kids and asleep if they are too.

You think laying in is lazy. He doesn't

Although its funny you say hes lazy but you must also be asleep as you are moaning his alarm is waking you up?

It really sounds like you should break up.

I love sleeping and I don't get enough sleep in term time (I'm on about 4.5 to 5 hours a night then...). My kids were just on holiday with their dad for 10 days and I'm off work. I went out once for the day to scatter my mum's ashes and other than that basically read and slept the whole time, other than a stroll each evening. At least 9/10 hours at night and a nap in the day (2 naps some days!). My DP didn't give a shit, despite me definitely being lazy. Incredibly lazy really. We're well suited - he's disabled and needs a lot of rest anyway and is rarely up to a proper day out. I work and care for him and the kids, but ANY time my kids are with their dad and I'm not working I'm basically asleep or lounging around the house. I firmly feel there's absolutely nothing wrong with doing absolutely fuck all! I like time in my head, not time doing things.

You'd obviously hate being in a relationship with either me or DP. You need someone busy and active and he needs someone butt lazy in their down time. There's nothing wrong with accepting a relationship is just not well suited and ending it. My exH and I were appallingly badly suited, but only really noticed a year or so after we married... We work well as friends and co-parents but explosively and vindictively as a relationship. It sounds like you've reached the end of the road.

Why are so many people with partners they don't like or who don't like them? As far as sleeping 10 hours - maybe he has an underlying health condition or maybe he has a tiring job or maybe he has decided he wants to lie in on holiday. Whatever - communicate with the man OP, tell him to get himself up in time for breakfast, tell him you know what he ate, tell him everybody's hot, if things don't improve then figure out whether you want to stay married or not.

His alarm woke me at 8am, I had to wake him at 10am snd he struggled to ‘come round.’ You won’t catch me out here, I’m not lying 😂

I’ve been to the gym already. I don’t want to go for a walk lol. It’s 40 degrees!