AIBU to feel fed up with my husband on holiday?

[Itsa10fromLen]

My god I need to vent! On holiday, OH just cannot come around in the mornings. I know it’s supposed to be a holiday for everyone but how much sleep does one person need? Technically the kids aren’t up so he doesn’t need to be but it’s hard to find a man attractive that needs 10 hours sleep every night and that sets an alarm to sleep through! He also would be upset to miss breakfast (I wouldn’t) so I’m making sure he’s up (I know I should leave him but I can’t stand the grumbling if I didn’t)

And if he tells me he’s sweating and red hot one more time so help me god! Constantly telling us what food he’s had like we can’t see.

I don’t like him, being this close has made that more obvious 😭

If he asks me if I’m having a nice time is it cruel to say no?

One can be thin and lazy. And fat and non lazy. Just saying. But in a heatwave I think fat people suffer more than thin people which might make them tired and therefore "lazy".

I’d love it if my hubby did this!

I would find a quiet spot and drink tea after tea and read my book.

We have come off a 12 day cruise and I gave him soooo many opportunities to have ‘father and son’ time with my stepson.

I would go off and have lunch in a quiet bar and read my book or do my murdoku puzzles.

nailed it

I'm sorry, but all fat people are lazy - that's why they are fat, and this is coming from someone who was once fat.

How long have you been together?

You're coming across badly in your posts OP, and Mumsnet is usually a very sympathetic place to women. You need to leave him because you hate him to the point you wish him dead!!!

I don't know why he's overweight, but someone who sleeps 10 hrs a day isn't lazyness. Some people just do need that, but many people have sleep apnoea or other conditions which mean they're not getting the refreshing deep sleep that they need.

So you managed to get married and have children with him and only realised now?

You think your husband lied for TWENTY years and kept up and illusion all that time, and just dropped it?
You don't think it's slightly more plausible that he got twenty years older and can't and doesn't want to.do the things he did decades ago? People age and change, FFS.

What a bizarre attitude.

Is that not allowed on holidays then?

Wow. Does he know you want him dead?

On another thread (less than 10 days ago) they aren’t married.

I slept 10 hours+ every night on holiday - I’m shattered from work and I need it.

However if your husband would be upset to miss breakfast, clearly he needs to set an alarm. You aren’t his mum! Just tell him that.

If the worst thing your husband does is sleep in and complain about being hot & sweaty on holiday, you’re ok. I expect there are lots of things he finds irritating about you as well.

It is difficult when two people have very different sleep schedules, and I can easily see how this is more obvious on holiday, @Itsa10fromLen.

I am the one who sleeps late in our marriage, and dh is an early bird - in my case, it’s been due to depression in the past, and now depression plus long covid. When we were on holiday with the dses, he would do things with them, or on his own, and I’d join in when I woke up. Now the boys are grown up, he walks the dogs, does the ironing, and I get up when I wake up. It doesn’t matter how much sleep I get, LC still leaves me exhausted - but if I force myself to get up early, I pay for it the next days.

being fat is so unattractive but sleeping for hours on end is equally unattractive,
leave find someone decent , too many of these lumps about

He freely admits it. Wanted to make me happy bless him. Then wasn't able to keep it going for mental and physical health reasons.
Got a good one but do wish he'd been honest and we could have compromised sooner

You sound like a mothering organiser type. You were bound to get together with someone who didn't mind being mothered or organised. If you do leave him, you need to avoid repeating that pattern.

What is it that you want him to get up for? If the kids are not up i assume you're not going to go to breakfast together without them.
What do you want him to do?
Why does he need to be up because you are? Just make a cuppa and sit on the balcony

Each to their own.

We’re up and out exploring every day. I can’t think of many things more wasteful than paying to lie on a sunbed or the beach all week. I’m paying to travel to see great places not my legs stretched out on a sun lounger.

I would have left him at the 'fat' bit. Wouldn't want to spend my life or holidays with somebody who's fat and inactive. Nothing more off-putting...but then again, you picked him.

Wow

Surely this behavior is not new to you then? If he repluses you that much you need to leave.

Funny how at school it was always the ‘popular’ girls who were the bitchy bullies.

Sensing a pattern here.

How long have you known him?

Is he the father of the kids?

Why don't you just get dressed and piss off for the day and leave him n the kids to it?

It really sounds like you met him last week...

No, I don't think they are lazy per se. They have an eating disorder that makes their bodies heavy and therefore suffer in heatwaves and have mobility problems. One could argue that people with anorexia are lazy as well as they are too frail and exhausted to do much.

If you love a person you see more than fat. I have a fat family member and I would not say she's unattractive. She gets lot of attention from men as well because she's pretty and they don't seem to mind her kilos.