AIBU to feel fed up with my husband on holiday?

[Itsa10fromLen]

My god I need to vent! On holiday, OH just cannot come around in the mornings. I know it’s supposed to be a holiday for everyone but how much sleep does one person need? Technically the kids aren’t up so he doesn’t need to be but it’s hard to find a man attractive that needs 10 hours sleep every night and that sets an alarm to sleep through! He also would be upset to miss breakfast (I wouldn’t) so I’m making sure he’s up (I know I should leave him but I can’t stand the grumbling if I didn’t)

And if he tells me he’s sweating and red hot one more time so help me god! Constantly telling us what food he’s had like we can’t see.

I don’t like him, being this close has made that more obvious 😭

If he asks me if I’m having a nice time is it cruel to say no?

Another wind up. So many these days.
The weather's nice. Go for a walk!

Let him.

If he’s angry and upset it’s on him. Just arrange your day your way.

Also he may have a condition that makes him tired, maybe he should see a doctor.

What time does he normally get up for work at home? Could he be exhausted with the heat?

You wish him dead - fucking hell why don’t you just leave him then?! You’re being ridiculous - just leave him instead of wishing he was dead you weirdo. Your poor kids.

Unless there's a specific plan that requires a departure I would leave everyone to it, including my husband. Normally, while on holiday, we decide the evening before what we are doing. The maximum that would happen at the start of the holiday would be I would say if you want breakfast you'll need to be down by . If there was any moaning there would be a question "what do you want to do about that tomorrow?" Or if it's because they are hungry "you can get some food from" . If it's constant I just raise my eyebrows!

Go out for a walk and a coffee whilst the kids and husband sleep… burn off some of your angst 🤣

I think holidays can be a bit like Christmas in that you are in close contact with your family for an extended period of time without the release of day to day life such as going to work, socialising with the others etc. in can bring into focus any issues that are within a relationship that m, day to day, can be overlooked. I agree it’s madness to spend so much money on a holiday you’re not enjoying. Moving forwards either have a conversation about what you both want from a holiday and if it’s deeper than that, what you want from your relationship!

Can I be honest here? In any marriage or long term partnership we all get on each others nerves from time to time. It’s normal - even if you got stuck on an island with the world’s bestest husband (as voted by all womankind) chances are you, and all the rest of us, would get pissed off with him and want to shove him onto the nearest rescue boat (or just the sea) sooner or later 🙂.

There might be more to it but it sounds to me like you’re fed up, it can be tricky on holiday and things are getting on your nerves at the moment. I know I do things that annoy my DH and vice versa. There are very definite times of the month more so, when it feels like he’s trying to be annoying (goes on both sides though when hormones slump!) It does pass though (unless this is crossing over to it’s finished and I want to leave territory?). There’s a reason best friends and best partners fall out, even when it’s a wonderful match, people be people. I feel it’s true that the people we love and value most in the world are also the ones that can piss us off the most. More often for me atm thanks to peri 🙃

Imagine your DH wishing you dead because you dared to have a lie in on holiday 😕

Don't forget the snoring and farting.

How long have you been together? Surely you knew what he was like before you went on holiday, unless it's a new relationship?! I think once you dislike someone this much there is no going back from it. If you love someone but they just irritate you a bit then you can tell them and not spend your whole time seething. I'm single thank God so I don't have to deal with any of this lol

I doubt him catching up on some rest would matter if you liked him.

Just see it as more time without him? Get up, head out for a coffee or something to eat and come back for the kids later / leave a note telling him to bring them to X.

A week or so ago you weren’t married and it was your house. If you aren’t happy, kick the fucker out!

I envy your husband 😂 I wish I could go to sleep for 10h when I am on holidays. Both me & my partner we are always up at 6am to catch the sunrise and back after sunset and dragging 3 kids along haha Noone forces as to do so we always want to do things but i secretly admire people that they dont have the fear of missing out and just sleep 😂

You have no right to dictate how much sleep he gets. Maybe he's tired, having worked the rest of the year.
It seems there are other problems though.
Going on about being hot does sound annoying - tell him to buy a fan (if it isn't obvious). And dress sensibly, if he hasn't realised.
Maybe think of a separate holiday you could do.

Bloody hell just divorce him already.

If my husband were sleeping (not simply lying in bed on his phone) 10+ hours a day, I’d think he was either exhausted or ill and be pleased he was able catch up on rest. I wouldn’t be calling him lazy. But I love him.

Tell him your booking a holiday in the Artic for next year just for him so he's not hot

I don’t think OP is planning on being with DH for next years holiday!!

@Itsa10fromLen how long have you been married? How long/well did you know him before marriage?

Are the DC yours/his/joint?

You sound like you are completely over this relationship and should be making plans to separate.

I like my husband so I don't have this issue although he does irritate me sometimes, that's normal. Clearly you have bigger issues and this holiday has brought them to the fore.

Why are you with someone you do not like? Why marry someone and reproduce knowing he needed copious amounts of sleep and can’t even get himself up?? You’re mothering him, stop. It’s just making you more resentful.

OP sounds like because you don’t like him you’re being a bit sharp. All you list are very minor issues. It’s not fair to nitpick just because they do your head in. He probably feels he can’t do right by you, then overcompensates which in turn does your head in more. Be kind but leave if he’s not the one for you.

So divorce him then and move on.

You’ve got the ick, so now all of his behaviour is an irritant.

When contempt sets in, there’s no going back! Hopefully you can minimize the time you spend together. I’d make a massive fuss so he stops setting an alarm!! It’s entirely selfish of him.

How can a person lie about being active? If someone isn't active, it's something people will notice pretty fast. So why didn't you?

I think you should say because you woke early you need a long nap and he'll have to look after dcs. Then go and chill for a couple of hours. I'd personally nap but I love a nana nap.
If you don't like him best to split though.