AIBU to feel fed up with my husband on holiday?

[Itsa10fromLen]

My god I need to vent! On holiday, OH just cannot come around in the mornings. I know it’s supposed to be a holiday for everyone but how much sleep does one person need? Technically the kids aren’t up so he doesn’t need to be but it’s hard to find a man attractive that needs 10 hours sleep every night and that sets an alarm to sleep through! He also would be upset to miss breakfast (I wouldn’t) so I’m making sure he’s up (I know I should leave him but I can’t stand the grumbling if I didn’t)

And if he tells me he’s sweating and red hot one more time so help me god! Constantly telling us what food he’s had like we can’t see.

I don’t like him, being this close has made that more obvious 😭

If he asks me if I’m having a nice time is it cruel to say no?

No, I'm giving a possible motivation for his behaviour, predicated in yours.
You're reinforcing that possibility with every post.

Do you call him fat and lazy to his face? Or just to thousands online?

I don’t want to ruin your bad mood, but wouldn’t it be simpler to say to him, “turn the alarm off - I’ll wake you up when I’m awake”.

If he says no, and leaves the alarm on, then tell him “in that case when the alarm goes off I’ll make sure you properly wake up, shower and make breakfast with me.”

As for being lazy - it sounds like this is a sunny pool holiday - so are you just waking him up to go and laze at the pool?

If you have gone somewhere too hot for him to cope with, try something totally different next year. We did a successful holiday in Copenhagen one year, walking 15, 000 to 20,000 steps a day. It was knackering and brilliant and we all slept about 8 hours a night.

I agree with something different next year. I suggest a divorce instead of a holiday.

You sound vile. I feel sorry for your DH

Did you grow up with very judgemental parents by any chance?

Why on earth are you still with him @Itsa10fromLen ? Is he like this at home ? Why would you be sharing your life with someone you obviously dislike intensely ? Sounds pretty lazy of you not to of dealt with getting divorced so you can both have a happier life.

I notice you haven't addressed the lazy kids question. Which implies that you don't believe they're lazy for staying in bed.

So basically, the lazy and fat comment is just because you don't like him, not because he's actually doing anything awful (although if he complained he missed breakfast because he slept through his alarm, that's clearly a him problem).

Why don't you just wake your lazy kids up and get your skinny arse down to breakfast and get on with your day, and let him sleep and find you when he's ready 🤷

You’re right. I just needed to vent. The problem is he lied about who he was. He pretended to be into all sorts of things like activities and keeping busy.

I don't understand how he's the lazy one, when you're both asleep when his alarm goes off. How much longer would you have slept if his alarm hadn't woken you?

I wonder if he likes you? I suspect not.

So do the activities on your own, then.

I love a fat lazy husband thread.
He will be gobbling & slurping soon.

I would be annoyed by an alarm that woke me up but that my husband, who had set it, slept through. But I would speak to him, not come on to MN, spewing hate. Why can't you speak to him? You take your judgements to be absolute truth. "Fat and lazy" is subjective. He could easily be "depressed.and tired".

Or he is exhausted.
As in physically tired for whatever reasons.

I think you should part well before he retires. If this is what it's like for a couple of weeks holiday can you imagine what 24/7/52 will be like?

My husband is a night owl and likes to sleep in, this drives me mad too. However he's very dyslexic and I can see he genuinely needs the sleep, sometimes I just leave him to it and bundle the kids up and off we go for a morning adventure, it restores my sanity.

Also lots of comments above about being fed up etc, be conscious that we get less tolerant as we age. Peri / meno genuinely flips many of us into no longer pandering to others and centering our needs more, which is a good thing. So just put yourself first for a change, plan a couple of holiday days around you. It might just be biology and aging, and he might not be really that annoying.

Oh dear…

I hope you’re never going to be more severely ill than a bit of a cold. You’re in fr a very rude awakening….

fwiw your attitude (he is lazy etc..,) will reflect in the way you react to him etc…he KNOWS that’s what you think kf him. One can wonder how he is coping with you too…..

What’s wrong with being lazy?

Fucking hell. Just divorce him @Itsa10fromLen. Let him find someone to be with who actually likes him!

Well that escalated quickly 🤣

I can't believe I'm defending a man but ffs, let him go and find someone who actually likes him. Poor guy.

Aren’t holidays supposed to be for catching up on sleep and relaxing?

Maybe DH and I have been doing it wrong all these years.

How did you not then realise this before you got married and had kids? Or has he just changed over the years?

He might be fat and lazy, but he can always lose the weight and become more active.

You'll always be a nasty piece of work though.

I absolutely would not engage in the nonsense. I wake early on holidays because I am excited to see places ( we are usually in lovely cities). I would go out for breakfast and a wander. I would usually bring him breakfast back with me (croissant and coffee). To be fair I was usually in a good mood because I had had a nice walk around in the relative cool of the day. So cheerily say “I’m going to get up at 7:30 and go out for a couple of hours. Do you want me to bring you back a takeaway coffee?”

DH quickly learned that this was better for both of us (he did not get woken by me watching tv in the room AND he knew he would not be dragged around to places he didn’t want to see).