AIBU to be angry that my husband is unconcerned about women’s safety?

[Peedoffdoesntcutit]

To be pissed off with my husband. I said how upset I am that the child abuse and rape leaflet from the government is judged as necessary and we are continuing to let these men into our country who pose a threat to women. He just shrugged - I said doesn’t it bother you these men are coming into our society. We have daughters , I am a woman. I absolutely do not feel safe anymore where we live and would not walk on my own anymore. He said no not really. Absolutely furious with him. Does he not have to care as he’s a big tall man? I’m so pissed off, I’ve walked off and he’s given me the ick.

Well put and laid out. I’ve noticed from this thread we have a lot of virtue signalling; a lot of calling me racist to shut the conversation down; women silencing women’s safety concerns and minimising them; not allowing an opinion because we have this problem in our country as well so we can’t possibly be upset we’re welcoming men in from countries who actively oppress women.

It screams of hypocrisy by these posters- and it’s very main character syndrome. For example how dare you say it’s these men coming in , when a white British man did the same to me. Yes no ones saying they didn’t - but we can say it’s a threat and a concern that they are adding to the problem and the government is passive in it’s approach and hands out a leaflet. It’s offensive that the government in this country is treating us with such contempt.

If our laws protect women so well how come conviction rates for rape are so low? Why did it take the establishment so long to force a pedophile out of the "royal family"? Why do we give criminally low sentences to men who abuse women but routinely give double the time to people people facing drugs charges?

As a country we are just as partriarchal and abusive as middle Eastern countries, we just discriminate and abuse via the back door.

It worries me than you are in a position where you may be treating refugees if all you're seeing is potential abusers

Are you absolutely deluded? A safe culture for women and children??????

It's legal to mary and have sex with children in many states in the USA. Again making it a mental problem not a single culture problem.

That would be because the vast majority of people in this country are British. But a disproportionate number of foreign men commit these crimes.
Why should we be put at risk when it could be prevented? It's also fucking offensive to say we have home grown rapists as if that makes it ok.

No of course not. But it’s what our culture and standard in this country strives to achieve and we have laws to protect women against anything that falls short of this. Be it abuse against women, inequality in pay in work, and as girls and women we can have an education and drive. We all know what the expectation of behaviour towards women and girls is , in this country , even though some men still do not follow this. I’m not denying men from here do not behave like animals. Never said I did.
But countries that actively promote the treatment that women are less than equal , can be raped, beaten, whipped, children married off , no education , can’t drive a car ; are not culturally aligned with the values and laws of the United Kingdom. So being scared that men from these cultures are coming into the country on a daily basis and that they needed a leaflet to explain it to them , could absolutely be perceived quite rightly by some
women as a threat. And they , and me, have every right to see that as a threat and to feel as we do. Their cultures actively oppress women and continue to do so. That’s worry for me as a woman who fights for women’s rights and equality.

Do you have figures to back up that claim

Tell me you know nothing about other cultures, without telling me you know nothing about other cultures?

Are you seriously suggesting that the UK is just as patriarchal as countries where women can’t drive, can’t work, can’t have an education, can be legally raped etc.

You think you’re being the ‘good person’ here, but your comment is so disgusting and dismissive of women struggling under these cultures who would give anything to be here … which leads to another fact … 72% of asylum seekers are MEN, and a study which spoke to a number of women who came to Europe on small boats, found that they had been physically beaten and sexually assaulted on their journey.

Certainly no rapes in Afghanistan, the penalty is very high. Most rapes take place by people you know so I think your comment is very wrong.

This is how I feel. These women on here are being offensive to those women under their openly oppressive governments and rules who allow violence, rape and child marriage. It’s hugely offensive to say the UK is just as bad against women as a country who would let a man rape her and then publicly whip them for adultery.

I have wondered whether they are men replying on this now as it’s become ridiculous.

Immigrants who commit rape at a certain rate are bad. White British men who commit rapes at a slightly lower rate are okay. I wonder what percentage of men being rapists is the cut off point between being tolerable and being a pressing issue.

This is a disgusting comment. How dare you imply the OP isn’t doing her job properly and might discriminate against refugees.

It’s basic per capita data, I mean, google it? But if that’s too hard, here’s just one for you.
Since you folks seem to struggle with facts, I’ll attach the evidence report as well as the figure “for Afghan nationals, there were 59.2 sexual offence charges per 10,000 across England and Wales, with the corresponding figure for UK nationals being 2.7 offences per 10,000 people”

But sure, it’s the British men we should be worried about 😂

https://committees.parliament.uk/writtenevidence/161679/html/

I didn't imply it I said quite up front. If she views refugees with suspicion and fear how can she effectively treat them?!

No rapes in Afghanistan?

Please tell me I’ve read your comment wrong, because cannot seriously be saying (and believing) that there are no rapes in Afghanistan.

I’d like to see a comparison of rape rates between men who have been in conflict and men who have not. I suspect that has as much bearing on rape rates as nationality - only a hunch. My assumption is that where life is seen as being “cheap”, female lives are seen as being even cheaper.
I’ve just been watching game of thrones. There’s a bit where the prince of Dorn says “We don’t hurt little girls in Dorn” and Cersei says, “Everywhere hurts little girls.” Sadly true.

Very similar to the openly anti-Semitic NHS staff that are pro-Palestine and still supposedly treating Jewish people. How is that okay and yet seemingly it’s fine.

Yes indeed, so it baffles me that our government(s) consider it fine and dandy to welcome so many more men from countries with even poorer women’s rights. Way to go.

Very very few in comparison because the penalty is much worse than in the uk and Yes I’ve also been to Afghanistan and have family there so I have first hand knowledge.

i think the reason many men are unconcerned is that it is well established women are disproportionately attacked and murdered by men they know in their own homes- then why are men being let in as refugees so much of a problem. There are no policies to make women less at risk from men they know, clearly the safety of women and girls is not a high priority for government, and never has been.

My husband shrugged. " if they need to be told that sex with a 6 year old is bad , then they need to be told ".....no bother .. I was absolutely fucking fuming ... how in any world is it not the done thing
I had no words apart from " wanker " .yes i tore him an arsehole.
We have an 18 year old daughter ... I'm a woman
We share so many differences when it comes to this sort of things

Incorrect, the majority of states you can’t marry below 17 unless you have a judges and parental consent. In those states, you can marry but can’t have sex. The lowest age of consent in the US is 16 (in many states, it’s actually higher than the UK)

So, it’s not even close to be equivalent to countries like Afghanistan where a man can easily force a marriage on a 9 year old, legally rape her and get her pregnant, is it! GO EDUCATE YOURSELF.

Fair play to your husband for not being thick as shit and led entirely by sensationalised headlines in the gutter press.

Really? I ve bever known a time in England where it was considered safe to do that.

Women are equal and respected here? Just because this country isn’t overt about their misogyny doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist, it’s just better hidden. And you are either too young or weren’t in the country ‘back in the day’ before immigration was the problem it is now but in my 50 years here it’s never been safe for women, I never walked the streets at night or if I did in my youth I was very much aware of the dangers. My daughters in their 20s have always known the danger men pose.
If every illegal immigrant was to disappear women would still not be safe.