AIBU to be angry that my husband is unconcerned about women’s safety?

[Peedoffdoesntcutit]

To be pissed off with my husband. I said how upset I am that the child abuse and rape leaflet from the government is judged as necessary and we are continuing to let these men into our country who pose a threat to women. He just shrugged - I said doesn’t it bother you these men are coming into our society. We have daughters , I am a woman. I absolutely do not feel safe anymore where we live and would not walk on my own anymore. He said no not really. Absolutely furious with him. Does he not have to care as he’s a big tall man? I’m so pissed off, I’ve walked off and he’s given me the ick.

These post on horrified

If I said I was helping/donating money to the charities who are trying to get improvements to women’s rights in certain countries, would the same posters be angry with me? Say that I have no right to try and change a culture to get women better rights?

@blossomsnow ”There's something quite strange about your writing style op. Is human English not your first language?”

That’s how you talk to someone who you think might have English as a second language? Bearing in mind that means they speak at least two languages? I don’t know how many languages you speak. Did you learn manners in any of them?

Yet they call others thick!

This isn’t stupidity it’s downright deliberate rudeness

Nothing surprises me about them anymore. It's just insults and telling fellow women that white men are more of a danger to them. Pathetic.

It leaves her being entitled to be worried about what SHE chooses to.

If you read my posts you would see I am concerned about the immigration

But it is racist agitation to make out women used to be able to skip off happily to nightclubs on their own. That's utter bollocks. It's always been dangerous to be a woman out at night.

I am happy to have a sensible conversation about the issue but not to have people painting some ridiculous fake history of what life was like for women.

Where does op say English isn't their first language?

I was implying it their posts look quite AI /bot like

Because your husband is not as outraged as you are about this particular issue (and the discussion here shows that it’s not clear cut), you claim that he is “unconcerned about women’s safety”.

Here’s the problem with our current political discourse. Trump and his minions do this, Farage does this, and Badenoch to some extent. But also the wokey people do this: trans-rights activists and their ilk. If you have a nuanced view, judge scenarios separately, make your own decisions which don’t always fall in line with dogma, your views are traduced.

Do you really think that your husband is unconcerned about women’s safety? Or are you just really bad at coping when not everyone agrees with everything you say?

@blossomsnow OP has explained very clearly that she is from another country, which means it is possible that English is not her first language

Isn’t that what your very rude post was getting at?

This is all just pretend

No one has read the OP posts and they just pretend that they are… actually I don’t even know what you’re pretending. No respect for women, no respect …. Just pretending that they are somehow better than people worried about their daughters and showing a lot of ignorance

and now someone has arrived to talk about Nigel Farage this is ridiculous
Safety of women and girls will not get any better while women are undermining it

But no one suggested that. They did suggest that the UK has a culture where women are legally protected (whether or not people choose to follow those laws) - and it is clear in comparison by Country, and comparison of per capita data, that yes - our culture is far safer for women in comparison.

Would I feel more unsafe if there was a group of undocumented Afghan men waiting outside a nightclub vs a group of British men … yes, and the statistics show why.

The UK is definitely patriarchal for all the reasons you mention and more; however, claiming that we are “just as patriarchal and abusive” as places like Afghanistan, Saudi Arabia or Iran is actually really fucking offensive to women who live in countries where:

• Women are routinely stoned to death for supposed adultery or being gay;
• Women are beaten, imprisoned, raped or killed for wearing the “wrong” clothing;
• FGM is routinely perpetrated against little girls as a cultural norm;
• Little girls are married to grown men before they reach puberty;
• So-called “honour” killings are routine and culturally tolerated;
• Girls are denied an education.

I’m a left-wing, pro-immigration feminist and I agree the UK is far from perfect, but your comment is manifestly ridiculous. I’m actually from a Middle Eastern country and there’s a damn good reason my parents moved us here.

Yeah she must be racist. The stock answer to everything you don't agree with.

Women minimising fellow women's worries about men. There's always something quite sinister about it. Sad, apologetic and appeasing but really quite frightening.

My thoughts exactly.

And pubs, gyms, football stadiums etc.

I really don't get people who think SA carried out by immigrants is 'worse'.

I can't see where in the op it says they are from another country?

They do spend lot of the op insisting they know what this country used to be like which rather implied they grew up here

I am not denying there are genuine reasons to be concerned about immigration. I just don't think we can go round pretending it's ever been safe for women to go out alone at night. That's just a gross falsehood.

This sums it up

It doesn’t suit their narrative….but but but the white men.

Hi @Peedoffdoesntcutit

Having Read Invisable women by Caroline Carado Perez. I instigated a conversaton wih a group of male friends. dad's.brother's .husbands and partners and I was truley shocked how little of a shit they gave about any aspect of womens saftey or issues so your husbands response if of no suprise.

The only way we will ever be bothered is when it efects us directley it seems. Male rape is on the rise. It is either improved reporting or its genuinley going up which is intresting in the context of the leaflet which I have not read yet.

When your husband feels unsafe on his way home only then will he truley get it which is so sad and I think you have every right to feel the way you do about him.

I’m becoming more and more convinced that posts like this are being bombarded by the “refugees welcome here” crew.
Think about it, when they are not on their marches, waiving their fucking little banners, it stands to reason they will be told to congregate on forums telling anyone concerned for their or their daughters safety, that “white man bad”, “you’re being racist” and other such bollocks.

Self justified racism is still racism.

saying immigrants are the problem is wrong. Criminals are the problem and figuring out who is a criminal before they commit a crime is impossible and unethical, just as it is for the native population. So negative sentiment against ‘immigrants’ is wrong. It’s wrong. And you can try justify it but it’s wrong and racist.

There is no question that we are seeing a significant increase in street rapes of young girls in particular, but also older women and men. This is why the government have panicked and issued leaflets. Of course most rape and VAW is from people you know. The change/increase is in stranger danger. And that has a chilling effect on our freedom, the freedom of our daughters.

In the BBC podcast series about people smugglers, many of the asylum seekers were upfront that they were coming to the UK because they had criminal records and could destroy their documents. They talked openly about rape as a right.

This situation should concern us all.

There is a VAWG epidemic, and the government have done next to nothing to tackle it. Producing a leaflet is actually insulting. These people will either ignore it, don’t care, or can’t even read it in the first place. Let’s continue analysing stats for the next few months to see if there’s a reduction in sexual crime eh?

Yes, white British men still commit sexual assault and rape, but that’s a separate matter in itself that still needs to be addressed.

Bringing in more men from cultures that don’t respect women and girls is wrong, and it’s putting females at risk in this country.

Indeed.

It just looks like another sneaky way to have another thread about immigration while making up a clueless husband...

How long ago are you talking? I went to no end of night clubs in the 90s and it was fine. The occasional punch up outside and the old bill would make some arrests but I can recall me and two friends walking 20 mins home with our shoes in our hand and not one car or person bothered us.

Perhaps he shrugged because he's tired of hearing your racist claptrap @Peedoffdoesntcutit . I'm sick to fucking death of these threads myself.