AIBU to be angry that my husband is unconcerned about women’s safety?

[Peedoffdoesntcutit]

To be pissed off with my husband. I said how upset I am that the child abuse and rape leaflet from the government is judged as necessary and we are continuing to let these men into our country who pose a threat to women. He just shrugged - I said doesn’t it bother you these men are coming into our society. We have daughters , I am a woman. I absolutely do not feel safe anymore where we live and would not walk on my own anymore. He said no not really. Absolutely furious with him. Does he not have to care as he’s a big tall man? I’m so pissed off, I’ve walked off and he’s given me the ick.

YABU for blaming immigrants when the vast VAST majority of the harm is done by white british men. It's easier to blame foreigners isn't it than the men around us?

People are so worried about being branded racist that they are failing to grasp some of it I think. Look at the statistics Denmark keep about sexual offences perpetrated by non-Western men. They keep and publish them. Even with the limited statistics we keep in the UK, we know Afghan nationals for example are anywhere from 3-15 times more likely to commit sexual offences.

Some countries we accept male asylum seekers from have very deep-rooted and dangerous cultural attitudes towards women and girls, which includes sexual violence. It’s normalised to such an extent in some places that they will carry sexual attacks out in groups, because it’s a shared cultural attitude.

Of course Britain has plenty of rapists and sex offenders, but rape being a bad thing is part of the national conversation and culture in a way it isn’t in some other countries. Try get on public transport as a woman in some parts of India, it’s not just one man trying to grab you, it’s dozens.

Some of the young men coming to claim asylum are from cultures where rape, sexual assault, touching, kissing etc random women is accepted behaviour. It does a disservice to women of those countries to claim the UK is ‘just as bad’.

And I’m sure I’ll be branded racist too (although I would love to see women and children from those countries coming here in greater numbers instead), but I am a lifelong ‘leftie’. I’ve voted Labour since I was old enough to vote, I believe people should be able to claim asylum and be cared for and safe while doing so. But it is delusional to think there is no impact on the safety of women and girls when you move 1000 single men from countries with appalling attitudes towards women into small communities 🤷‍♀️

You will just be gaslit here, OP

I understand why you’re upset.

we live in the world where a 19-year-old boy had to say that he wasn’t racist with his dying breath. That’s how bad it is. That is all what posters will talk about here. They won’t listen to your concerns for your children or the logic behind them.

There's a thread on chat at the moment brainstorming and chatting about women's safety and ideas .

Perfectly said and the same position as me. It’s like an elephant in the room. Im not bothered about being called racist - they can be any colour skinned or ethnicity they are- it’s their behaviour that bothers me, and coming from cultures that doesn’t respect women and values life.

Absolutely- an older gentleman in his 80s was raped the other day.

Women and girls safety is much more prevalent at the moment. This is what OP is talking about.

But you already know that and are just posting the usual whataboutery shite we get on every thread about violence towards WaG.

I have no time for this attitude. I was sexually assaulted repeatedly by a white British man who was in a position of responsibility. Noone would have been campaigning against him and noone will.

He has never been held accountable.

No. The Pakistani grooming gangs were convicted so no one was let off.

Also, in the olden days they were called paedophile rings and they were made up of white men.

These guys look pretty white to me. And they raped 2 year olds. So yes. White men clearly need to hear this message too.

BBC News - Paedophile ring jailed for 'terrifying depravity' - BBC News
www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-34219235

But there are plenty of cultures different to mainstream culture in the UK with so many legal immigration routes, so if you are onto against illegal immigration like you claim it’s surely having a nominal effect on safety in the UK.

“No. The Pakistani grooming gangs were convicted so no one was let off”

many of those who facilitated them were never caught, records mysteriously went missing. No care for those children.

They haven’t a clue. They easily walk through the world, day or night, without the need for hyper vigilance that most women have had to develop. They don’t have to scan every unknown man for danger. They don’t feel the possibility of being unsafe the moment they walk out their front door. And because they’ve never had to deal with these things, they are blind to than, largely unaware that women have to cope with this every single day.

And we have the names of the officers who said that these children were prostitutes or they were consenting they just haven’t been released to us

Widespread child abuse

Anyway, it’s going off the point that OP was making so I’ll stop

I’m going to leave the chat here- it’s ok to be angry at white British born men ( any skin colour in fact, it’s not important to me. It’s not about their skin colour, so has no relevance in this conversation) Any men who attack women and rape and abuse children you can be angry at. But both can be true- you can be cross it happens on our doorstep and cross the government are letting more men in , who come from cultures that tolerate abuse and violence towards women and children. You don’t have to be labelled a racist or shut down incase you offend someone. These conversations should be being had between women and the rest of society. And it’s ok to be scared of what is happening without other women on this platform shouting you down and calling you racist to limit our women’s voices. I won’t stop mine because others try to silence me.

Sometimes some men (and women) are as thick as mince!!

Ps you are NOT being unreasonable!!

OP you may or may not read this. But just to say many are totally with you, and feel the same. YANBU. Anyone gaslighting you about but but briish white men are baddies too, isn't very bright. If they don't understand per capita data, what hope have they? Either that or they purposefully ignoring it, hands over ears la la la. Cognitive dissonance etc. So, in sum YANBU and you are very much not along in feeling the way you do x

@Horses7 snap!

Do you actually think women are seen as equals and respected?

No of course not. But it’s what our culture and standard in this country strives to achieve and we have laws to protect women against anything that falls short of this. Be it abuse against women, inequality in pay in work, and as girls and women we can have an education and drive. We all know what the expectation of behaviour towards women and girls is , in this country , even though some men still do not follow this. I’m not denying men from here do not behave like animals. Never said I did.

But countries that actively promote the treatment that women are less than equal , can be raped, beaten, whipped, children married off , no education , can’t drive a car ; are not culturally aligned with the values and laws of the United Kingdom. So being scared that men from these cultures are coming into the country on a daily basis and that they needed a leaflet to explain it to them , could absolutely be perceived quite rightly by some
women as a threat. And they , and me, have every right to see that as a threat and to feel as we do. Their cultures actively oppress women and continue to do so. That’s worry for me as a woman who fights for women’s rights and equality.

She still hasn't explained why her pay and tax are relevant