To be upset about meat being cooked in my house

[Meetmeinlove]

For context, I am 53 and a lifelong vegetarian. I have never cooked meat or eaten meat.

I was always clear with my kids that if they wanted to eat meat, it was their choice but it had to be out of the house. Put simply, I don’t want it in my house.

They both eat meat and I am ok with that.

But I came home and they have cooked it- used my wooden chopping board to cut it up. Left remnants on the worksurface.

i’m bloody upset and it feels so disrespectful frankly. It’s a real problem for me- I don’t want meat in my house- I have always been really clear about it.

aibu to be so upset about it? It’s a real problem for me.

One is an adult. I can maybe agree with for under 10's but way to diminish a hundred being.
My house my rules people are generally ridiculous. Though they should clean up.

It is why we have incisor teeth and molars. Arguably.

But I realise some people dislike meat for all manner of reasons. Ethics or just don’t like it.

My SIL is a lovely cook who doesn’t eat meat. But she cooks it beautifully for others. And did not ban it from the house.

She just doesn’t like how it tastes as much as anything.

If you don’t eat meat because you think it is cruel to eat it you will may well have a more inflexible approach. But some compromise could be reached.
The thing is to remember not everybody thinks the way you do. And appreciate that.

When she lives by herself then she can have whatever rules she likes.

It's dickish behaviour to dictate that your children can't eat meat in their own home, especially when they have no choice but to live with you.

Your are being absolutely unreasonable. It is their home too.

I'm a veggie, I live with meat eaters. I don't expect them to not eat meat just because I dont.

The problem is you haven't taught your kids how to tidy up after themselves. If you have taught them, tell them again.

I’m agree, it’s everyone’s home and if you want your children to feel it is very much their home as they become adults then compromise and s needed.

I eat a mainly vegan diet but I do buy and cook high welfare locally sourced organic meat.

How do you know they haven't complained about the restriction?
Obviously they should clean up after themselves and use a separate chopping board/ cooking implements but not allowing them to eat meat in their own home is wrong. I suspect they will leave home as soon as they can.

Sorry, does it mean you never cooked meat for your children in your house? Never ever?

You cant dictate what your children eat and its not fair they cant eat it in their home, its not just your home, you go round friends houses and eat in their homes and they eat meat, i dont eat processed meat but i bought it for my kids as they wanted it

I am not a vegetarian but you are absolutely NOT b u.
I can see why that would be very upsetting for you, in using your utensils for their food.
I would definately be having stern words with them.x

My MIL is a committed vegetarian FIL is not. They have separate utensils and chopping boards and have a his and hers drawer in the air fryer and meat is stored at the bottom of the fridge and veggie stuff higher up so the meat never drips on the veggie stuff. He only has steak on the night she out as she genuinely can’t stand the smell but they have compromise.
Your children were really rude not tidying up after themselves, I'm sorry but you are being unreasonable insisting that they’re not allowed to eat meat in their own home. Sounds like some compromise is needed!!

I don't eat meat. However, my kids do, it's always been their choice and I didn't/don't want to restrict their diets. Obviously they dont eat it at every meal! I have always ensured the house is equipped for this with separate chopping boards, knives, utensils etc. It's easy as they're different colours. Couldn't you do this? Mine are still young but when they prepare their own food they'll be used to it.

Very disrespectful of them to not clean up after themselves, that's what I'd have the issue with most of all. Also I'd be thinking this isn't the first time they've cooked meat in the house, just the first time they've been "caught" for want of a better word.

Do they have another parent? Someone where they are considered as having a home with?

It’s their home too and they should be able to eat meat in it, but they should have cleared up and not used your chopping board.

I disagree, especially as the kids are now teenager and older

I like to enable ny kids to have a voice and opinion in their own home. As long as something isn't illegal or dangerous, why should someone have to follow a blanket rule, when they are too young to live independently, with absolutely no say on the matter . Sure, they should be respectful and clean the kitchen/use specific utensils, but other than that I think its controlling to just say this is it, no discussion

I'm not a fan of the "because I say so" parenting

I’ve never cooked or eaten meat in my life.

Maybe that’s what people don’t understand and why it’s an issue for me. Never touched meat - nothing. Raised in a vegetarian household.

It’s really not that unusual I don’t think although judging by some of the responses on here, it’s close to child abuse.

I am similar - while we have meat in the house (OH and cat), I have a few things where he's not allowed to cut/cook meat. Cutting board is one of those things.

Yeah, your kids are being disrespectful, they are old enough to know better.

Have you spoken to them about how disrespected you feel OP?
What did they say?

Im not surprised at all they're pushing back on this. Good on them.

Get separate pans, tell them its not negotiable that they tidy up after themselves and ensure the back door is kept open when they are cooking. Thats pretty much all you can do if youre not prepared to kick them out on to the street.

Have you asked them why they did it? What was their response?

But I have been clear- I haven’t taken a ‘because I say so’ approach.

i was clear growing up that eating meat was up to them- it was their choice and I have always respected that. I eat out with them regularly and they eat meat at restaurants.

But my bottom line was not at home. That’s it.

I think you're reasonable to be annoyed at the remnants of meat left in your kitchen. I think you're unreasonable to forbid meat being cooked by meat eating members of your household.
Because provided you don't pay for it, and don't have to smell it, it's an ethically neutral act. They are simply using your space to do something they do anyway.
I'm vegan BTW. My family are allowed meat in our kitchen and if you visited you could keep your milk cheese and eggs there too as long as I wasn't expected to consume them.

Not for you, for the children - you never cooked meat for your children in your house?

They need to clean up and they need to have kitchen stuff for preparing meat.
It is unhinged not to allow any meat in the house.