To be upset about meat being cooked in my house

[Meetmeinlove]

For context, I am 53 and a lifelong vegetarian. I have never cooked meat or eaten meat.

I was always clear with my kids that if they wanted to eat meat, it was their choice but it had to be out of the house. Put simply, I don’t want it in my house.

They both eat meat and I am ok with that.

But I came home and they have cooked it- used my wooden chopping board to cut it up. Left remnants on the worksurface.

i’m bloody upset and it feels so disrespectful frankly. It’s a real problem for me- I don’t want meat in my house- I have always been really clear about it.

aibu to be so upset about it? It’s a real problem for me.

It is your house and your rules. You are completely entitled to your position.

But teenagers. They break rules. At home and elsewhere. I think if you are able to accept that’s what’s been going on, then you will be better able to deal with it, and find a way forward. If they are determined to cook/eat meat, is there another house they could use?

To YOU.
Not to the OP.

Do you have children? Are their no consequences if they don't do what they are told?

This post is super interesting as it’s just such an inherent part of my upbringing. It would no more occur to me to bring a ham sandwich into my parents’ house than drive a car through their lounge or light fire to their couch. It’s just literally impossible to envision. I was a hugely rebellious teenager but still never did this! It’s interesting that so many others would think I’d have as much right over their kitchen as they do. I’m not sure I agree with that but it’s given me something to think about tonight!

I know Indian families that are vegetarian and have never eaten meat at home. I’m not sure of its religious or cultural. I’ve never thought it’s odd. The DC can have what they choose when out, but home food doesn’t include meat. I’m not sure what mum would say if DC took a steak home and cooked it, but if it was not cleared up then there would be words.

lol

I don't drink.
And badly side-stepped. Bravo.

Lol... she's off on one...best ignored

Can I just state..I'm the only 'occasional' meat eater in our home. My partner is veggie, our daughter vegan. I do not cook meat whilst they're around/at home. .

I'd have it out with your kids..it's totally disrespectful..and more importantly..breaking boundaries you've set.
They knew this..but did it anyway. If they are both boys..use this as a tool to address overstepping boundaries

I think given it’s their home as well, YABU.

I've been a strict vegetarian since age 12. I cannot stand raw meat. It makes me sick.

I have bought it and cooked it almost every night for 30 years though for DH and my DC who all love meat. It didn't even cross my mind to not let them eat meat in the house and I decided when my eldest was born that they'd make their own choice of diet when they were old enough, but they needed meat in their diet when growing. They all stayed meat eaters.

TBH I think you're pretty extreme. Eating precooked meat outside the house is not the same as roasting a chicken, frying a good steak in garlic butter or making a hot bacon roll at home. Meat that you've sourced and made sure was cooked hygienically.

Poor kids.

My Jewish parents made me go to synagogue every Sunday as a kid, I absolutely hated it. It turned into a weekly screaming battle until I eventually won and they gave up when i was 12ish.

Kids should not feel they have to adhere to religious culture in their home if they don’t want to.

What's funny? Serious question.

I don’t like the “my house, my rules” mentality at all.

Lots of people are talking about the compromises they’ve had with their vegetarian/meat eating DP/spouse, but these are compromises agreed between two adults with the ability to leave the house or relationship any time they choose. It’s not the same when it’s children.

Unless a rule is health/safety based, there should be compromise for the children, since they don’t have a choice about living there. None of this will make the children more likely to adopt vegetarianism when they grow up. They will associate vegetarianism with their mum’s neurotic phobia and authoritarianism.

After I turned 13 I didn’t have to go to synagogue or keep kosher but I still lived in a kosher home. I’d spent my own money on bacon cheeseburgers or whatever, eat whatever I wanted out of the home, but respected my parents’ rules in the home. It was a strictly kosher kitchen so if I’d brought something in they would have had to re kosher the whole thing. I can think their traditions are silly or meaningless or not a part of my life, but I also respect their choices.

I have a lot of relatives who wouldn’t eat in my home as it’s not kosher. My parents and brother compromise out of love and will eat pescatarian at our house, using our dishes and accepting whatever they see in our fridge. This is a massive, massive compromise for them and I’m grateful. They respect my home and I respect theirs.

OP you are very clearly (to me) & many others not being at all unreasonable. Sadly too many people don't give a shit about animal welfare & don't see eating meat as cutting up, cooking & eating body parts. I will never understand why they think it's ok to do this to some animals but not others. You are 100% allowed to make the rules as the adult in your own home.

Some weird posts on this thread. Of course OP can make rules about what happens in their home. She’s the parent. Sometimes rules are about who comes to visit, what time they leave etc, sometimes it’s about food. Absolutely nothing wrong with bringing up your children as vegetarians. Perfectly healthy and I think you’ve been more than reasonable in your attitude to what they eat elsewhere. I say all this as a non vegetarian myself.
My mother kept a kosher home. I wouldn’t have dreamt of bringing in non kosher even though I ate it myself out of the house.

Op why are you trying to impose your will on them, if they decide to ignore your restricted views what is your plan? Are you going to kick your children out of YOUR house for not capitulating to your demands? You are very rigid and coming across as a bit unhinged which isn’t helping your case. Perhaps it’s low iron, you know what would fix that? A steak.

Well she said they could eat meat while out of the house, they got a taste for it and now want to eat it. Not sure what can be done about that!

Typical vegetarian authoritarian. In sure your children think of it as their house as well, given you know, they live there. You need to to take a step back and realise that you can eat what you want but you can't impose your lifestyle choices on your children at home in such a restrictive way. Meat in the middle with them.

I hope that last bit was an accident! 🤣

Her kids are 14 and 18 and at this point, the rules she makes need to be reasonable. People should be allowed to follow their own dietary preferences in their own home.

And the accompanying colon cancer

Yes it seems disrespectful that ignored your request and didn’t clean up.

But they are teens, navigating and pushing boundaries. I think the reason why they did it will really change the response.

have you asked why?

I'd ask them to replace the chopping board but I can't imagine a world where I wouldn't cater to my own kids dietary desires.
If I ate meat and they were veg, I'd cater. So why not the other way around.
Different if it was a house guest, but your kids??
YABU

Do you think that about any preferences or just eating dead animals? They can do exactly as they please in their own home?