To be upset about meat being cooked in my house

[Meetmeinlove]

For context, I am 53 and a lifelong vegetarian. I have never cooked meat or eaten meat.

I was always clear with my kids that if they wanted to eat meat, it was their choice but it had to be out of the house. Put simply, I don’t want it in my house.

They both eat meat and I am ok with that.

But I came home and they have cooked it- used my wooden chopping board to cut it up. Left remnants on the worksurface.

i’m bloody upset and it feels so disrespectful frankly. It’s a real problem for me- I don’t want meat in my house- I have always been really clear about it.

aibu to be so upset about it? It’s a real problem for me.

I agree it is their home too. How are they going to learn to cook meat if they can't cook it at home, where else are they going to cook it?
However I agree with you they should use a different chopping board (although this probably didn't occur to them at their age and if there isn't already a different chopping board) and they should clear up afterwards.

Logically speaking - what difference does it make if it is prepared in your house or consumed by your kids outside of your home? The outcome is the same, the animal is still slaughtered and eaten by your kids regardless of where the last bit of steak or chicken etc ends up being cooked?
The mess they left would be more annoying in my opinion, at 14 & 18 they should be able to manage a forensic clean good enough that you would have been none the wiser what they ate.
I would find growing up in a very strict vegetarian household very frustrating as an avid meat eater, you might want to think about this being the hill you have to die on with your kids.

But that's controlling. They have the right to eat what they like. Yes they should have cleaned up. However, you don't have the right to dictate what they eat. They are your children and you will drive a wedge between you, personally if my parents had been like that when I was a teen, I'd have left home as soon as possible and had little to do with them.

You are not respecting their choices

This, have they been life long vegetarians too? Well up until they started eating meat!
are you still with their dad? Is he veggie too?

You just keep repeating the same thing.

It's THEIR house too. Why don't you respond to THAT?

So they can eat prepared/processed meat elsewhere, but aren't allowed to learn to cook it at home, learn about safe food prep and cleaning around meat?

It's your lifestyle choice, you adapt. It's their home too! Leaving a mess is disrespectful but I find you making these restrictions quite disrespectful too.

So they’ve NEVER cooked meat before, respecting your rule….

and then suddenly decide to not only cook it but leave the bloody remains for you to find on the chopping board??

It’s not remotely reasonable to ban them from eating meat in their own home when you’re not even there. It’s ridiculous frankly. One of them is an adult! However, they’re more than old enough to clean up after themselves and you have every right to be cross about that.

Have you asked why all of a sudden they've gone against your wishes or is this a regular thing but the first time you've caught them?

Unless they're in a school club school is closed for the holidays so eating meat there at the moment isn't an option.

Do you give them lunch/money for meals daily so they can go to a restaurant/fast food chain and by their cooked meat meals, it must be costly doing that daily.

Maybe they feel a vegetarian diet isn’t satisfying them.

It’s their home and they are too young to not be at home. Yes they should clear up, but I think it is mean to say no to meat in the house. How are they paying for it?

So they’ve respected this rule of yours all their lives

and one afternoon they both just think “fu?k it” and cook some meat and then leave the remains for you to find on the chopping board?

I wonder what happened for this 180?!

I'm surprised the voting is against you OP.

I'm a committed carnivore, and think meat is a healthy element in the human diet, and it's more difficult to get all your essential nutrients if you don't eat it.

However, if you want a vegetarian home it's not unreasonable to expect your children to follow your rules while they're living with you BECAUSE YOU'RE PAYING FOR IT.

They can cook as much meat as they like when they have their own kitchens.

But it's their home as well as yours.

You can't dictate to them that they can't eat meat in their own home.

We do eat a ln extremely wide and varied diet at home- it’s not like I am starving them. It just doesn’t include meat. Nor is it about it not being a home for them.

I think maybe it’s really hard to explain to people who eat meat.

Am not trying to make it some illicit thing either. It would be a massive thing for me- I don’t even want it in my fridge.

I don’t think it’s particularly weird - it’s just never been a part of my life at all.

What are they supposed to do while they aren't old enough to move out and support themselves? Never eat meat?

Fair enough, I appreciate your beliefs about not wanting to eat it yourself, whether its ethical reasons or something else... but wouldn't a separate dedicated chopping board go some way to a compromise?

This really. Very disrespectful behaviour and that’s what you need to focus on. If they want to eat meat elsewhere that’s fine, but they know the rules in your house.

YABVU. Be a vegetarian all you want yourself but not allowing your children meat in their own home is ridiculous. Get them separate chopping boards, utensils, pans etc and tell them to clean up after themselves. You can't force your own choices on children like that.

YABU to stop your children being able to eat meat in their own homes

But even if they’d done all that… the Op would still have been furious

Two things here…

Firstly, they should absolutely have cleared up after themselves! Whatever they’ve been cooking…doesn’t matter…they should be clearing up their mess!

Secondly…bloody hell OP! YABVVVU not allowing them to cook and eat meat in THEIR home!!

Can you honestly not understand how utterly bizarre (and actually cruel!!) this is? Your behaviour is beyond strange…you CANNOT inflict your vegetarianism onto your children…it’s just so wrong!

Provide them with separate chopping boards and a storage area (eg a small fridge, place to store their utensils etc) and allow them to have meat at home! You should be buying this for them…they clearly want to be comfortable in THEIR OWN HOME, and given what they need to be so!

Nobody will force you to eat it (or even cook it!) but at least give them the means to do this for themselves ffs!

This is bonkers behaviour…truly bonkers! 🤯

It’s not your house!

you keep throwing that in like it gives you the right to dictate something like this. It doesnt

its their house too. They should treat it with respect, use separate utensils etc but fundamentally you can’t just stamp your feet and say its your house

What is weird is that one Friday afternoon after always respecting your rule they suddenly
Get together and basically say “let’s cook up a meat storm and leave mum to find the remains of it”

which is weird

"I just don’t want it cooked in my house."

Where else are they supposed to cook it? the 14 year old won't be going anywhere anytime soon?