Just walked out on kids

[patiencehasgone]

Just that, really.

9 and 12 years old. Constantly fucking bickering.

Do not listened to me when I ask them to stop. Or listen full stop really.

They started arguing over a fucking face towel, so I said ‘nope, not having this be my life’ grabbed my bag and keys, got in my car and have driven round the corner and parked up.

not really sure what I do from here really.

What a supercilious, sanctimonious post 🙄

Leaving the children broke no laws with the OP. Leaving the children didn't create any harm.

Next.

Tell them to stay in their own rooms.

Some dcs are carers for their parents at these ages. They aren't babies.

You did right imo. Hopefully they'll settle down and stop bickering so much?

Do they share a bedroom @patiencehasgone ?

You never forgave your mother for this!

No, thank god!!!

a few years ago I had the amazing idea for them to share a room, so they could have a room for just sleeping, and then a play room with all
their toys and crafts in there.

remind me to tell my partner later that he’s a genius for saying no to that!

The state of this thread.

Mine are all much older now but I do remember the bickering years. It is exhausting and unrelenting. They will be fine, you will be fine.

Plan strategies when all is calm because it will happen again - I used to try not to apportion blame and separate as much as possible when it all started going downhill.

If it helps, my sibling and I bickered and fought throughout childhood, but became very good friends once we went to 6th form college. We are still good friends, still bicker on occasion, but work together well to look after our parent with dementia!

How long was she gone?

Not in my world. Kids learn best when there are consequences and at 12 and 9 they are old enough to get a shock. And please remember that forty years ago practically every 12 year old I know spent an hour or so at home after school before a parent got home from work.

OP, give it thirty minutes, go home, make them stand in front of you and tell them both that you have had enough of it and if there is any more bickering over anything it will disappear. You will bin the face cloths so they do without them, you will chuck out the TV remote etc - whatever is relevant. It’s high time they had a bollocking.

Learn forgiveness, it's very empowering.

Go get yourself a mcdonalds or smth, clear your thoughts and get back. This is part of parenting. You should be above this.

I stopped all playing out, all play dates etc at about this age and told them unless the bickering stopped I assumed that is how they behaved with others and therefore couldn’t be trusted to be with others. They needed to get along themselves first.
soon stopped, now at 22 and 20 they are pretty close but at times I’d have loved to walk away for an hour 🤣

The funny thing is two of mine got on fine, no bickering. Two of mine were a nightmare to live with due to all the arguing. Sometimes it isn't as easy as people who haven't lived it think it is.

Maybe if you'd had two more you wouldn't be quite so smug as how your kids are is probably at least as much to do with their personalities as it is with your parenting skills.

Im enjoying this thread usually on here it's a race to the bottom sanctimummy style. I'm liking the pushback from the more reasonable people.

You aren’t correct. Children cannot care to for a younger sibling until the age of 14. The police could have been called and off the back of that SS could have become involved. OP needs to be aware of that incase she wants to do that again.

Hi @patiencehasgone

My Mum did this one summer when me and my sisters were at it with each other. we were probly around same age as yours with one in the middle.

I would say I really gave us the short sharp shock we needed. Never really seen her cry becose of us althogh I am sure she did without us seeing. when she came back Red eyed and upset, we were very very sorry, and I do think that I always apreciated her more after as we'd pretty much take her for granted.

Hope you’re all ok.

Probly an unpopular opinnion but Id go out for a mackies or a Nandos's if when you go back there sorry and draw a line under it.

You need to tune out of a lot of the bickering and just ignore/tell them to go into another room as you don’t want your hear. Or go to a different room yourself. Also give them jobs to do each and every time they take the bickering too far - separate jobs in different rooms.

It's all fine OP, you cooled off and went home, they got the message that they had pushed you to the limit!

Get yourself a spray bottle and fill it with water. Next time they start bickering, spray them with water! Diffuses the tension and then they'll both be mad at you, not each other 😂

Deep breath.

Go back, with a calm smile and just say that you popped out to the shops.
My two used to fight like cat and dog, it was awful, but it's a phase (although long and tedious).

Focus on the long term - you want to maintain a lifelong, good relationship with them and for them to be best friends too. Yes, it will be tough for a few years, but you will have a lifetime of friendship if you can hold the family together whilst they are teens.

Separate them for a bit - maybe games console if you are happy with who their friends are online (warning, this becomes very important as they move fhrough the teenage years). Do some art work, go for a walk (ignore the whinging, they get over it after 20 mins). It's nearly the end of the holidays and they are probably getting bored and ready to see their friends again.

Mine are in their early 20s now and are the best of friends, absolutely adore each other and calm has returned!

Where is this law?

It's interesting as on reflection my two who didn't bicketr aren't as close as adults as the two did.

I didn't bicker with my siblings and I haven't seen them in years.

DM did this when DB and I were the same age as your DC. We were being a royalty pair of pricks and deserved a shock frankly. We were very sorry and stopped being pricks.

No one is traumatised and they’ve learnt a decent lesson. Job done

I think needs must sometimes, they aren't toddlers and they can cope for half an hour.

That’s something entirely different. No child would be able to be a carer for an adult without capacity. Child carers are supported within a framework and only for adults that still have the ability to administer care to their child, but perhaps unable to have full motility due to a disability.