Just walked out on kids

[patiencehasgone]

Just that, really.

9 and 12 years old. Constantly fucking bickering.

Do not listened to me when I ask them to stop. Or listen full stop really.

They started arguing over a fucking face towel, so I said ‘nope, not having this be my life’ grabbed my bag and keys, got in my car and have driven round the corner and parked up.

not really sure what I do from here really.

You did the right thing to remove yourself from the situation.

Unfortunately, this IS your circus and those are your monkeys and you will at some point go back and tell them that they need to pattern up because arguing over every single bloody thing, even a bloody face cloth is driving you to distraction, so cut it out

so why didn’t you both stop when she told you?

if you were terrified after it happened once, that would have stuck and you wouldn’t have done this again

Sympathy.

I went through a phase of getting up from the dinner table and taking my plate to another room. I would tell the DC that they could come and get me and I would rejoin them if they resolved their differences. Or I'd tell them that they couldn't join me at the dinner table until they could behave in a civilised manner.

They don't really interact much unless they have to be together, so mealtimes were a flash point.

They were tweens/early teens at the peak of their bickering and it was exhausting.

Actions have consequences.

They need to know that they are making living in the household unbearable. They’ll survive.

Agree when you get home you need to back it up with a stern talking to and clear consequences for any such idiotic arguing in future.

Kinnell.
Extreme reaction from you.Were you being an absolute twat to her?

Go home and put them both in their own rooms to tidy them and they are not allowed out until it is tidy. Put your music on and sit and read a book on the landing.
Then get them out one at a time and let them know how upset you feel.

It is painful the bickering.

Yep. The key word here being 'constantly'.
Cant have been that terrified or you would have modified your behaviour.

They are not toddlers.

I used to just go and lie on my bed (with the door closed). After a bit I’d get a little knock on the door and contrite kids apologising.

9 and 12 they be fine and perhaps realise they are pushing u to your limits

the sensible thing to do is to distance yourself settle and then go back rather the than escalate to the point it gets out if control

nobody’s going to be mentally scared

I feel for you, two of my kids were like this. No idea why as the other two weren't the same. Just to warn you in my case it got worse and the teen years were hell. They are perfectly reasonable adults and get on fine. Good luck.

I’m not surprised she walked out on you if this is the sort of person you are.

”Never forgiven her”.

Jesus wept.

You are the one they learn their conflict resolution and communication skills from.

Why haven't you taught them better?

No judgment here @patiencehasgone . You are around the corner, they are old enough to manage for 30mins and your husband is aware. Parenting is tough and sometimes you need to show your kids you have been pushed to breaking point.

However you manage it when you get back, you’ve got this. You can do this.

Am sending a hug!

Indeed. I’ve never forgiven my mother for not walking out.

Home now, two sheepish children greeted me, apologies were given, explanations about how their bickering makes me feel were repeated.

both have been sent to their rooms to tidy, and then read or do something crafty whilst I have a cuppa and decompress.

will talk again later once things are calmer.

Yeah, their dad is in the picture - we all live together as a family unit

I don't think this is a bad lesson: Sometimes you have to remove yourself from a situation because you know you will otherwise snap.

OP, I hope your day improves. Lots of love from me. x

But it could have all easily been handled before it got to the point of making op snap?

Dc shouldn't be left to bicker. They should be taught to respect each other, how to handle emotions like anger, and how to resolve conflict from a young age.

I never have to worry about dc arguing with each other to the point of upsetting the household (13 and 16 now), because we taught them how we wanted them to behave. And ds was non verbal until 7!

I was 11 when i was left in a town 12 miles from any family, i looked after my nephews, they were a baby, 2 and 4. It was fine. I think many on here would be shocked at the number of children left every day to get themselves to school etc. There are many many "latchkey" children, always has been and there always will be.

Yeah you can’t do that until the eldest is 14.

So much mollycoddling on this thread, that is why we do not have resilient, strong and independent children.
Not ideal but it doesn't hurt them to know that you have had enough.
Give them 30 mins then go back and say what they are doing is not ok.
They will survive.

It’s not about moddycoddling, it’s about following the law and child safeguarding guidelines.

Enjoy your cup of tea! And hopefully some peace for a while at least…

Another mum making the mistake that all children are the same and all sorts of presumptions too.

Reminds me of the time I left home and nobody noticed.

They will be fine.

Go back when you’re ready x