AIBU to prefer an all girls state secondary for my daughters?

[PlumCat23]

Aibu to want my daughters to go to an all girls state secondary with a very good reputation? It's where they would like to go too but dh has reservations. They are academic, sporty, outgoing girls so I feel they would thrive. Please tell me the pros & cons!

There are two all girl state schools in the north east in Sunderland & in Newcastle! I don't know why @monkeysox is claiming otherwise. Google is your friend here @monkeysox !

I went to a mixed sex school and always thought mixed schools were better. However, after teaching in all girls and mixed sex state schools, I chose to send my daughter to single sex. Boys dominate in mixed schools. They dominate in the classroom, outside of the classroom and when it comes to curriculum choices. 96% of the prison population is male and 4% is female. If you work in schools this statistic doesn't come as much of a surprise.

The dynamic in the classroom is very different. Girls tend to be quieter when boys are around and boys tend to take up a lot of air time. Girls can be used in seating plans and groups to manage boys behaviour. Quite a lot of girls change their behaviour and clothing to please the boys. Some of the boys are very misogynistic and girls have to deal with sexual harassment from a young age. At the most academic end of the school the impact can also be seen when it comes to A level choices. For some reason girls are more likely to take stem subjects in single sex schools than they are in mixed schools. It isn't surprising that girls generally do better academically in single sex.

For boys, I think it is better to be in mixed sex.

The schools I taught in were London state schools. Apart from one, they were all fairly diverse. However, the dominant ethnicity and social/economic background of the children does make a big impact on the culture of the school. This is probably more significant than whether it is single sex/mixed sex. You don't want your child to feel isolated.

I went to a girls grammar, as did my sisters and my nieces currently go to the same one. We all loved/ love it. Had fabulous experience. Behaviour was excellent, teachers were supportive and I never saw or experienced bullying. Didn’t find it cliquey at all and my nieces don’t either. We all got excellent gcse/ A level results.
my dd got a score to attend this school but we live further away so it wasn’t really an option but dd wanted to go to a mixed sex grammar anyway. She loves it and finds the boys funny!

But that's not my part of the north east. They are an hour and a half or longer on public transport which makes them inaccessible for teesside children.

But it's still a divide if there are none thay are accessible. And as you have seen there are fewer in general in the north

There are only just over 200 girls state schools in the country, of which 70 are in London.

There are 8 in the whole of Yorkshire, mostly in West Yorkshire.

You specifically said there were none in the North East & then reiterated that saying there was none in the North at all saying it was the North /South divide... you should have just said none in my catchment rather than taring a whole region with the same brush!
As I said above I think it's awful there is no single sex state in your catchment as all parents & pupils should be entitled to choose.

It is such a pity there aren't more spread out throughout the country so the choice is there for parents who can't afford single sex private...

And presumably a large number of these are grammar schools. I don’t know any single sex schools in my county that aren’t private and we don’t have grammar schools here, therefore no single sex state schools at all

I said two before but actually there are four (maybe more) single sex girls state non-grammar schools near us (<30min). Two are Harris.
Also know of at least one in a relatively nearby county but not commutable to us (not Harris).

DD is at an all girls school (going into year 8) and she loves it. I’m also extremely happy with the school.

Same experience here. Dd is 16 and is about to start sixth form. She has really loved school and is much more confident in her abilities now after leaving a mixed primary (where she was starting to feel talked over by boys in her last few years). Her school is very inclusive and friendly. She does a few sorts outside school with mixed groups and has a boyfriend- she hasn't suffered from being at a girls school. She has also been allowed to be herself- she doesn't care so much about make up, short skirts etc for school

We have 15 in Hertfordshire (8 state funded).

I’m very inspired by this thread! My daughter is just 1yo and I’ve been googling - alas there is only one state girls school in Oxfordshire and it’s on the wrong end for us. There’s schools in nearby counties but we’re somewhat constrained as have an older boy in school that we need to work around.

We have the girls grammar that DD2 went to 10 miles away and an Ursuline girls 5 miles away. Plus more girls schools in southend

What do your girls want? That's the most important question. Yanbu for wanting to send them to a good school but I would let my child make the choice of secondary.

They love the girls school & it's their first choice. They also know girls already there through sports clubs, neighbours & cousins, all stories have been very positive

My DD went to an all girls school and loved it.

She was glad to get away from the boys at primary school. No nonsense and messing about.

My niece (14) also chose a non-selective girls school as it had a much calmer atmosphere, even though she had lots of male friends. She is thriving.

DD is now 23 and has a mixed friendship group. She went walking with a couple of male friends at the beginning of August, so no problems in mixing with men now.

Yeah we don't have grammars either in my LA. There's a couple private schools with 'grammar' in their name though in other neighboring ones.
I thought they mainly had them up north? I could be wrong there!

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_grammar_schools_in_England

Quite a few single sex schools in Birmingham, both grammar and standard.

DD attends one, it’s good, she’s done well, she seems more than capable of mixing with the boys from the school round the corner.

I have relatives who had a terrible experience, alot of bullying and left struggling to socialise with boys, have boyfriends etc. She hated it and resented her strict df for it. It isn't something I would choose. I suppose opinions are formed on your own experiences and those of the people you know. I loved going to a mixed school, and had some lovely boys as friends; these particular friends were more sensible than some of the girls, one girl used to love a good skive!

DD went to an all girls state comp. Not my first choice as I am a single mum and no brothers/ male cousins etc. Out of school she focussed on dance which is overwhelmingly female.

School was fantastic in the teachers and support, but bitchy teen girls meant she didn't make any long lasting friends.

She has a great male friend from Scouts, but overall I think there is a gap in male relationships.

On the other hand her school in so many ways was amazingly supportive to her SEN I am glad she went there.

You have to look at the overall picture.

I went to a single sex school, DDs went to mixed schools.
They were both sick of the behaviour of some of the boys, one DD has a disability and the piss taking and bullying from some of the boys was awful. The school tried to get on top of it and did for a while. She struggled with friendships as the girls were more interested in not being seen as losers by the boys by being friends with her. There was so much drama about relationships and so much bad behaviour in the classroom from boys demanding attention.
My youngest insisted on going to school with full make up as she was always keen on some boy or other and would get in a flap every morning, as she had to look a certain way. The boys would rate the girls appearances.
All this was made worse because it was a crap school, but I wish they could have had the education that I had.
Edited to add I have boys too, so this isn't an anti boys rant. They both passed for the grammar school though, so had an entirely different education.

It was my understanding that all girls schools are better for the education of girls but mixed schools are better for boys

I went to an all girls school

I want my daughter too