AIBU to prefer an all girls state secondary for my daughters?

[PlumCat23]

Aibu to want my daughters to go to an all girls state secondary with a very good reputation? It's where they would like to go too but dh has reservations. They are academic, sporty, outgoing girls so I feel they would thrive. Please tell me the pros & cons!

How can anyone answer this? It totally depends on the individual schools you have in mind.

I just want to know other people's experiences of all girls schools. My dds are currently in a mixed primary so we don't know any different

Well what reservations does DH have? Are they justified?

There is a great BBC podcast called Bringing up Britain which has an episode on the pros and cons of single set education for girls.

I went to an all girls school. Academically, it was great. I think it probably made things like friendship groups, cliques, competitiveness more intense.
I would also say it had a profound effect on how I saw boys/men for my adolescence and a good deal of early adulthood. Boys and men were never friends.

I don't think so. He says they won't be used to boys & how to mix with them. I don't think that's right as there are boys in their extracurricular who they are already friends with ..

My daughters went to a girls school and loved it. I often read that girls schools are cliquey and that there is lots of bitchiness. They experienced neither.

There was a nearby boys school so they socialised on the train and the schools organised some joint
activities.

A lot obviously depends on the individual schools
concerned but, everything else being equal, I would always choose a girls school.

Edited to add that my daughters were at a mixed primary.

I had major reservations about my daughter going to an all girls school but it has honestly been the best thing for her, she has thrived. However, when the time comes, we are encouraging her to go to a mixed sixth form so she has experience of all.

I went to one in the 1970s. I didn't have any brothers.

I didn't start meeting or mixing with boys until I was 18 as a result, and I don't think that was a good thing.

Most people dont have a choice. I don't know of any single sex state schools.

https://www.gov.uk/government/publications/review-of-sexual-abuse-in-schools-and-colleges/review-of-sexual-abuse-in-schools-and-colleges

Get your H to read this. It might change his opinion.

No 750-1000 teenage boys in the same spaces as them.

That's the win right there.

I eent to all girls Sixth Form after mixed Secondary.

It was fantastic not to have to deal with misogny all day.

Ny DDs have a similar problem at school. The boys are louder and just dominate everywhere.

My dd went to a single sex school and it really increased her confidence, she has a very can-do attitude and she blossomed

Studies consistently show that single sex is better for girls, and mixed sex is better for boys.

Do them a massive favour and send them to the girls school, especially if it is a good one

My daughters went to a mixed primary, an all girls secondary til 16 then a mixed 6th form.

I think the all girls environment when they are 11-16 is really positive and helpful for them, as they're developing emotionally and physically, and during classes academically speaking. They loved it and grew into confident young girls. No young teenage boys to put up with - a blessing.

Really that's unusual that you don't know of any? We are in the catchment of an all girls state secondary & I know of 2 other all girl state schools within a 20 mile radius

I think it really depends how much they are socialized outside of school. I went to a sixth form that had a lot of girls that came from single sex schools and many seemed to either throw themselves at the boys or not know how to be around them at all.

Also not sure the narrative that all teenage boys are awful is true. As a teacher teen girls can be harder work in a classroom.......

I went to an all girls school from secondary onwards. It was very good for me. At the time I also associated it with less physical violence as I had been attacked by the boys at my primary school.

My brother mixed with girls at his school and his studies were always heavily distracted by girlfriends.

I was ‘late’ to start dating men but it hasn’t really impacted me. Only for the positive. Given me more flexibility in where i could move for work, and I have been with DH 10 years so far. (He went to a boys’ grammar)

I work in education. I dont know any. North East England.

According to Google there are two very prominent All Girls state secondary schools in the region you are working in, photo attached!

It depends on the child. DD1 did 11-18 in an all girls state school (selective grammar) and was v happy. She still has lots of friends from school and enjoyed her time. She found it a very warm and supportive environment.

DD2 did Yr 7 in a different state girls school (comp) but moved in yr8 to a mixed comp. She was much happier in a mixed school and has always had a lot of male friends.

I was vehemently against all girls (a sibling had a bad experience single sex in the 90's) however my now teenage DD goes to one (mixed for primary) at her choice and I have 100% changed my mind. The key though is for the girls to have activities outside school with boys too though i.e scouts, music, theatre etc. My DD (who chose the school for what it offered, not because she wanted to be away from boys) absolutely loves her school and being girls only and from the first week commented how different (nicer) it was in a learning environment without boys - calmer, focussed, allowed to speak up, being smart is celebrated, lots of opportunities for all the girls, conversations openly about girl specific challenges (periods, bras, misogyny etc) and how to overcome/ deal with day to day etc. And this from a girl who's 'best' friends are still boys - they just don't learn in a classroom/ school together. And the girls at this school thrive. Academic attainment, co-curricular attainment and are generally a lovely group of articulate, confident, pleasant girls.

Mine are at an all girls state secondary (proper comprehensive) and I'm a governor at one (a different one).

Behaviour is excellent. The girls say they feel more relaxed and free. They do things like silly dressing up for world book day. Our safeguarding incidents due to sexual harassment are almost zero.

Both DDs say it's a welcome relief after being in primary classes that had a lot of badly behaved, sometimes violent, boys. Girls do better in single sex schools.

When men say girls need to 'get used' to boys that always rings massive alarm bells for me and the subtext is- get used to the threat of male violence and harassment; get used to being put in your place; get used to being pushed out of science and maths; make yourself smaller. They've got a whole lifetime at work (and before everyone piles on and say their son is not like that- I'm sure he's delightful. But there is reams of research that shows how embedded misogyny and sexual harassment is in schools).

I went to a state girls secondary and thrived both academically and socially. I think that it would have been useful to do a few more extra curricular activities where there were boys present so they weren't so "mysterious" but apart from that no issues at all. I look back knowing that we wouldn't have been as free/silly/wild if there were boys to impress.