AIBU to feel contextual offers are unfair after my son's results?

[ThatQuickLilacOrca]

Results Day last Thursday and son is beyond devastated. This experience has made us realise that there’s so much discrimination on children who have attended private school. We are not wealthy at all, DHs parents have helped us pay for our three children’s education. DH and I have normal jobs I work in the civil service and DH works in policy side of things for network rail.

Anyway I am saying this because of contextual offers why can’t everyone just get the same offer based on merit. Our son had an oxford offer he missed that he got AAA instead of his offer which was A A A now he cannot go to his dream university he was rejected as he missed the offer. He is planning to resit further maths again in hopes of getting an A and we will support him with that it’s just quite sad but he’ll get over it he’ll apply again for next year the school has been ever so supportive.

He overachieved on his offer yet there’s kids getting in with less grades than him just because of the schools they go to. We did initially think for him to go to grammar school for sixth form as we have friends who’s children left independently school for sixth form for grammar schools to get lower offers for Oxbridge and one of them messaged me saying “I told you so” as her son got into Oxford for the exact same course he was just given a lower offer. I am so annoyed

I guess this is a lesson for my son he has realised the world isn’t fair and it’s quite a motivator for him. He’s a hardworking boy, he has spent some is his summer in South America teaching maths, he went to a maths competition in America this summer too, this is a very dedicated boy we have spoken to the university but they wrong budge they’re willing for him to resit and reapply next year.

I think contextual offers should only really be for young carers, children who have been in foster care, children with disabilities etc not just because of your address and the school you go to that is very unfair. Most parents at Indys are catching onto this lots are sending their children to grammar schools/state schools so they get lower offers. It’s an awful system that we have in this country. I’m so hurt for him but I know this will motivate him. He’s our eldest and we were looking forward to dropping him off at Oxford not Durham, he out Durham as his insurance he never wanted to go there! They did accept him but what’s the point, he was so upset when he logged into UCAS to see that and some is my friends advice was that he should just go to Durham why should he go to a university he doesn’t want to to. He put them as insurance because it’s the smart thing to do but deep down he always thought he’d get into Oxford. He still went out and celebrated his friends but he’ll be back to school in September, he’s looking forward to visiting his friends that are going to university and he’s recently got a part time job at an art gallery and he’s loving it so at least he’s got an extra year to enjoy that.

Sorry for the rant. Any parent just wants their son to be happy he’ll get over it in a couple of weeks as his application needs to be in by Oct so we will have to just see how this round goes he’s willing to give it one more shot.

You lost me at spending the summer in South America and America, as the mother of a hard worker hoping to get a contextual offer for Edinburgh next year, who could only dream of getting to go abroad for these types of opportunities, I am absolutely shocked that you went to uni and cannot see your son's privilege.

Cambridge university offers a Foundation Year programme for those that have had a disavantaged education.

Contextual offers aren't based upon your school, you could go to a state comp and get the AA A grades and not have the above offering or contextual offerings because of your postcode.

On the other hand, if the teachers are good then small class sizes are really beneficial.

For a few years, extra funding was made available for certain state secondary classes in Scotland and it made a significant difference. Then the money ran out.

ETA I'm trying to remember exactly when it happened - the noughties, I think.

I know this is true, but it’s bloody idiotic. Oxford Poly, as it was in my day, is not where those who narrowly missed an Oxford place go. (That'd be the likes of Durham, Exeter, TCD, St Andrew’s et al)
This obsession with Oxford is very clearly a pestilential influence on youngsters, as OP has described. It distresses me that parents are just as silly about acquiring perceived status this way, while ignoring excellent academic standards at other top universities.
‘My son is at Oxford, you know. Such a talented boy’. Mothers storming up to Oxford demanding a ‘recount’ re their offspring’s offer/grades situation is dreadful, and must greatly add to the would-be student’s anxiety and sense of failure (when that failure is ANYTHING but total, with offers aplenty still).

They'd prefer to ‘lose’ a year by resitting examinations, with no guarantee of success.

Surely, surely nobody is so insightless as to send their child to private school then complain that other people are ‘gaming’ the system and that the world is ‘unfair’.

This POV is actually laughable.

Only about 1 in 6 A level predictions are accurate and as about 95 out of 100 pupils go to state school, I would say teachers in state schools are just as generous as ones in private schools. After all, the guidelines suggest we should predict positively.