Couples holiday grief

[notmyrodeonotmymonkeys]

Please help mn I’m not sure what to do.

Couoles A B and C are going on holiday tomorrow. They are driving in in 2 cars. Couples A and B live in the same town so they are travelling together. Couple C are coming from a different direction and are travelling separately. The holiday has been split equally 3 ways and everyone intends to pay for themselves whilst there. Travel costs for petrol and parking will be approximately £120 per car. Couple A intended to pay for their costs as they know couple B earn significantly less than them (about 30k a year less) but would be happy if couple b get them a couple of drinks or similar.
Couple C have now approached Couple A and said they think it’s unfair Couple B are not paying for their travel expenses and that it would be fair to split it 3 ways. A pointed out that B do not have much money and C replied that they treat themselves plenty (which is true they are very much live for today). A feels uncomfortable broaching B for money especially at such late notice as it’s too late for them to make alternative arrangements should they want to.

Yabu B should pay their fair share
YANBU C is wrong to ask for shared costs

Because they're family

Nothing to do with C
C needs to step back and shut up.

Yes

C are being so ridiculous I assume there is some relevant backstory.

If it's a parent and adult DC dynamic I can see there is going to be much more of a backstory re how C perceives they have been treated by their parents over the years compared to B. So potentially it could shed a different light on things. Ditto if C is partly going on this holiday to please parents rather than it necessarily being the holiday C would choose.

I'm not the poster you're replying to but I've already posted that it would make a difference in how I viewed this, because there might be understandable reasons because of historical behaviour for how Couple C feels, even though they're BU.
You haven't responded to my post though, in which I told you to stop being coy and be more transparent about the relationships.

I think I possibly would.

If it was 3 couples who were friends, then it’s none of couple C’s business who couple A bring in their car. But if couples B and C contain siblings, especially if couple B is always being subbed by their parents (couple A) then I can see why there’d be resentment. Especially if couple B are crap with money.

Depends. If the couples are all friends, C is being ridiculous. If A are the parents, I can see how it grates if one DC has to pay their way and the other doesn’t

In a way yes

if A are the parents and B and C the children it suggests there are some sibling jealousy issues at play

do A often subsidise B and do C see B as feckless and undeserving of the generosity as they’ve worked hard and ‘done the right thing’ so are seen as not needing subsidising?

Couple B should have offered to contribute to petrol cost.

It’s nothing to do with couple C.

if couple C and B are siblings (so a bit of sibling rivalry going on), I still think it’s none of C’s business.

Why is it split ? Or am I getting it wrong. Why aren't couple A and C paying for whatever travel costs they each have individually. And b are getting a lift with A?
How does that cost couple C anything?
Isn't up to couple A to ask couple B to chip in if they want too ?

You are essentially giving B a lift. Entirely up to if you want to charge.

I would uninvite c it's literally nothing to do with them.

Absolutely none of couple C's business and I would be instantly turned off them by their sheer cheeky fxxkery to think it is any of their business.

If Couple A are parents to a person in both other couples, the same applies.
I would be embarrassed that couple C was so crass.
And I would be telling them to cop themselves on.

Awful crass tacky behaviour, that is best dealt with firmly.

Are couple A regularly subsidising couple B?
If they are, and this isn't a one off situation, the couple A are creating problems that they should think long and hard about.

As parents it is so important to be even handed.

It would put more context to couple C’s whining of ‘that’s not fair!’ if it was an entitled adult child. It would be practically unthinkable attitude between adult couples in a friendship situation.

It does feel like a family situation, in which case, yes, I can see why one sibling might resent it if the other is always being helped out because they're paid less while they have money to spend when it suits them. It doesn't change the fact that sometimes it's possible for a parent to help with lifts if one adult child lives closer than the other, which technically doesn't affect the other sibling one way or the other, but I can see why it might get under their skin and feel unfair.

I think there’s a massive drip feed coming. Couple A are the parents and it seems possible that couple B contains the feckless child who has always been given more, while couple C contains the grafter who’s been left to their own devices….
If this is the case OP, then you should have said it from the start. Family dynamics are completely different from friend dynamics.

But it is something to do with C if they are all family and B have generally been treated more favourably over the years, and this is just the most recent example.

Very different if all the couples are adult friends.

Op Go and enjoy as there wont be another one!

Don’t really understand the point of the whole A,B and C thing, especially when OP is so obviously A.

Also, if it is parents and young adult children, it would totally change the dynamic and be a very annoying drip feed.

Friends: YANBU
Adult children: YABU

Must be family and it must be a ritual annual break for them. There's no way that anyone with any brains would go on holiday with couple C if that's their attitude. But family dynamics are very different to friends I suppose.

This!

If the couples are 3 friends then it’s absolutely got fuck all to do with C how anyone else gets there or how much it costs. If couple B and C are A’s children then I can understand it may be perceived as treating one child and not the other. Sounds like there’s a back story or history of perceived unfairness

How does A&B's travel arrangements and costs affect C???

Yes, it changes the whole scenario.