Couples holiday grief

[notmyrodeonotmymonkeys]

Please help mn I’m not sure what to do.

Couoles A B and C are going on holiday tomorrow. They are driving in in 2 cars. Couples A and B live in the same town so they are travelling together. Couple C are coming from a different direction and are travelling separately. The holiday has been split equally 3 ways and everyone intends to pay for themselves whilst there. Travel costs for petrol and parking will be approximately £120 per car. Couple A intended to pay for their costs as they know couple B earn significantly less than them (about 30k a year less) but would be happy if couple b get them a couple of drinks or similar.
Couple C have now approached Couple A and said they think it’s unfair Couple B are not paying for their travel expenses and that it would be fair to split it 3 ways. A pointed out that B do not have much money and C replied that they treat themselves plenty (which is true they are very much live for today). A feels uncomfortable broaching B for money especially at such late notice as it’s too late for them to make alternative arrangements should they want to.

Yabu B should pay their fair share
YANBU C is wrong to ask for shared costs

I predict this holiday is going to be a disaster

Is this a family situation where Couple A are the parents and B and C are A's children plus partners?

Xpost

For £50??? C is being petty fur £50?
Are they always that tight, counting pennies etc….

This was what I thought

Text them and ask them to confirm that they understand what they are asking for is that on any future holidays where they might live closer, they will be contributing to everyone else’s travel costs.

does couple a subsidise anything else?

It’s so sad that couple c are penny pinching before the holiday as it could easily ruin a lovely holiday

Couple C are being absolutely ridiculous. Basically they are asking Couple B to subsidise their fuel costs, but still having the luxury of not having to do the work of car-sharing. 🙄 Never in my 28 years of driving have I ever asked a friend for petrol money. Okay, fine if they offer, but I’d decline. If I offer to drive, it’s under the assumption that I will cover the costs and I also have the privilege of having my own car to use as I see fit. Otherwise, seems a weird transactional friendship.

Your car, your rules. Your cheap ass Couple C friends can always offer to come collect Couple B themselves and organise sharing of costs if they want to. Bet they won’t though. They just want to freeload.

Yabu B should pay their fair share
YANBU C is wrong to ask for shared costs

@notmyrodeonotmymonkeys Technically this isn't an either or. Technically, B should pay their fair share, although it is Couple A's prerogative whether they do or not. At the same time, C is wrong to ask or shared costs.

And stop being coy, admit you're A, and talk about the relationships. Whilst C seem petty, if as a PP has suggested and B & C are the adult children of A, then there could very much could be backstory for why C feels hard done by and is raising it in this way (albeit unreasonably).

Couple C shouldn’t be invited next time. They sound dreadful.

Yes but who told them?

Couple C sound awful. Cheeky fuckers.

That's just the way the cookie crumbles for C i would say. Sometimes things work in your favour sometimes not.

Would you view it differently if it was?

If couples A and B choose to travel by mule/walk to the destination - it is none of Couple C's business. If A&B stop en route for a coffee and couple A pays for that, will Couple C demand an equivalent given to them?

In other words, the arrangements made between A and B is absolutely nothing to do with C, who should not and do not know whether B might be doing a reciprocal favour for A at a later date to help cover their transport costs.

And C are the cheekiest of fuckers for even raising the subject.

Whoever is in the car that’s being driven discusses how to manage costs. Whoever is in another car gets no input and no vote. Easy.

What’s it got to do with couple C?

And couple are going anyway so fair enough not worrying about the cost as they’d have to pay it whether couple B went or not.

How is A&B’s travel arrangements anything to do with C? Why does C think that B should contribute to their(C) travel expenses?
Or is that C will be transporting B whilst on holiday on a day to day basis? Will they be missing out on sharing cars and costs with A because B will be taking up their potential space?

Why does everyone know how much each other earn?

I would.

If we were couple A and my DD's and their partners were B and C, then if we decide not to get money from couple B for the car share, then I would slso bung C some cash to help cover their travel expenses too.

If it was a constant thing, where one child was being financially mollycoddled, I can see why it would grate.
but also, they aren’t leaving from the same place, so it’s not as if they can jump in with parents and travel for free this time. Or could they?

I was wondering this.
Are the couples all related?

How old are you - presuming early 20s? Do you all know all the ins and outs of each other's finances - inheritace/oarental support/outgoings eyc? On the face if it someone can earn more but be less cash rich than someone who earns less. .

I agree none of Cs business though.

I don't know how to vote, as I don't know which couple you are, but I'm assuming A. How did C know about the breakdown in travel costs between A and B? It is none of their business whatsoever.

You've glossed over how couple C found out about your arrangement, I can only presume you told them.
Whilst it's a nice thing that your doing, it really shouldn't have been shared with couple C, it's degrading to couple B.
If you expected a 'that's a really nice gesture' from couple C for your philanthropy, it's bit you on the bum.
Realisticaly considering the price of a stop off at a services, if your expecting couple B to foot the bill there and back they won't be saving much at all.
Getting the popcorn ready for next week's post about splitting the restaurant bills.