Page 21 | To expect everyone at my wedding to stick to the colour scheme?

Autumnalbride · 2026-08-15T20:39:22+00:00

I'm having an autumn themed wedding. I've asked everyone, all the wedding party, family and all the guests to wear autumn colours - brown, orange, yellow, red etc. Some of the men want to wear grey suits but I am upset by this because I don't see grey as an autumn colour. They say they will wear autumn coloured ties and accessories but I said I want the suits to be in Autumn colours Is this unreasonable?

Nearly50omg · 16/08/2026 10:51

Autumnalbride · 16/08/2026 09:00

I was the only other person there, alongside my kids. So noone else there to complain.

She invited family to a BBQ, noone could make it, so I felt bad for her and said I'd go. She said about 2pm. Turned up at 2:20 (after telling her I'd be late) with a load of chicken legs for the BBQ. Didn't feed my kids lunch because I thought we were having a 2pm BBQ.

Got there and the BBQ is still under tarpoling never mind lit.

No welcome from sister, she was in an absolutely shitty mood and barely came out of the house, no food, no music or anything to do, just sat there awkwardly getting more and more hungry, waiting for MOH who was bringing the burgers. Sister snapped horribly at me and my DD8. I tried to make conversation by asking her about her hen do, and said did she know anything about it so I knew what I could talk about and she snapped "WHY? ARE YOU PLANNING ON RUINING IT FOR ME?" which was bizarre...
Asked nicely when they were going to light the BBQ and was told when MOH got there. We were given some fruit at this point so kept hunger away a bit.
Future BIL starts the BBQ at 4pm and I said something about MOH being late (can't remember exactly what) which he replied "yeah, it does take the piss"
She finally rolls in at 4:30 with no apology.
But I was perfectly nice to her, I held her baby, and chatted to her, I took nice pics.
Just because this lateness thing annoyed me doesn't mean I hate her?? Pretty much every person I know at some point or another does something annoying, as I will also do too.
But apparently this means I was trying to highlight the fact she is unreliable and that I should have been made MOH and not her??
I just just bloody hungry and dealing with two bored and hungry kids! Youngest of whom was looking forward to playing with MOH's kids but then found there was nothing to do and noone to play with.

I sincerely hope sis stretched before that reach 🤦

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If this ever happens again just leave and go home for dinner!!! Tell them they clearly aren’t going to be doing lunch and lunch is what you was invited to and the kids are hungry and bored!!! Just get up and leave and don’t worry you may seem to be rude THEY are the rude ones

JenRummy · 16/08/2026 10:56

Reverses are a complete pain in the arse. Just don’t.

LadyGAgain · 16/08/2026 10:57

Omg. Seriously? I just wouldn’t come. The need to dictate dress code for weddings in absolutely insane. Get over yourself.

LadyGAgain · 16/08/2026 10:59

Oh sorry I’ve now read more. Your sister is bat shit. Avoid.

PinotandPray · 16/08/2026 10:59

Hankunamatata · 15/08/2026 21:41

Yabvvvvvu and handing you a grip (assuming its a reverse as no one is that unreasonable)

People shouldnt have to buy whole new outfits for your colour theme

Exactly

BillieWiper · 16/08/2026 11:07

I don't even know where you expect them to find suits in yellow, red and orange? A fancy dress shop?

Mens suits off the peg tend to come in shades of black or grey. I guess you might see brown occasionally. Wearing autumn themed tie, shirt, pocket square, even socks should be sufficient.

Herenowatbroad · 16/08/2026 11:09

BillieWiper · 16/08/2026 11:07

I don't even know where you expect them to find suits in yellow, red and orange? A fancy dress shop?

Mens suits off the peg tend to come in shades of black or grey. I guess you might see brown occasionally. Wearing autumn themed tie, shirt, pocket square, even socks should be sufficient.

It’s quite a Halloween-y feel to it so perhaps a costume shop?!

Bobcurlygirl · 16/08/2026 11:10

This has to be a joke surely

pinkyredrose · 16/08/2026 11:10

She sounds fucking nuts. She can get to fuck.

BillieWiper · 16/08/2026 11:11

Herenowatbroad · 16/08/2026 11:09

It’s quite a Halloween-y feel to it so perhaps a costume shop?!

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Yeah that's what I was thinking!

Snazzysausage · 16/08/2026 11:14

I think I can sum this up in a sentence - your sister is a loon.
Well done for extricating yourself from her barmyness.
I really don't think a line up of blokes in ox blood and shit-brown suits is going to look the height of elegance she imagines it will.
Especially on the giant wall canvas she's bound to commission for the living room.

Herenowatbroad · 16/08/2026 11:14

Odd how clearly it is the sister is being grossly unreasonable

and yet for some reason the OP’s DH is keen for the Op to remain in contact with her and maintain a relationship

I wonder…. Why?

Loulou4022 · 16/08/2026 11:16

Absolutely ridiculous and I wouldn’t be surprised if you end up with very few wedding guests after they hear about this!! Brown suits are not a popular colour for men so very few would already have one and I’m not even sure I’ve ever seen many in the shops!!
Bridal party is one thing but all the guests what nonsense!! We paid for our bridesmaids dresses and asked the male contingent to wear any blue suit they had. The only person who didn’t have one was my brother so we bought him one as it wasn’t fair to ask him to buy something he’d never wear again!!
If you’re more bothered about the look of the wedding than the actual meaning of it you’re not mature enough to be getting married!!

KindlySurfiingPlatypus · 16/08/2026 11:19

Ok I have caught up with the "reverse" bit now.

Whilst your sister is generally being very, very unreasonable to expect adult men to buy a new suit for her wedding @Autumnalbride , I do think you could have easily got a formal outfit for your son in autumn colours - it's different for kids clothes, they don't get the same kind of tailoring so are pretty cheap anyway, and they will grow out of the outfit by the next time it is needed (hence so many 2nd hand nearly new ones available)

However on the path you are currently on you will probably be saving all expense as she won't want you to come at all with all this drama. And good luck to her, I'm sure she will find her carefully curated photo album of autumnal-coloured guests a great treasure, far more worthwhile than anything so trivial as the love of her sister.

Snuggleup · 16/08/2026 11:23

I went to a wedding once, we was all asked to wear floral outfits yeah floral this was 2002 not the 1900s.

We all looked like we was let lose from floral fabric factory.
My friend said we have day release from the old people's home.

We all looked awful, the bride divorced in 2004.

FlakyFox · 16/08/2026 11:26

The wedding photos.

To expect everyone at my wedding to stick to the colour scheme?

ZorbaTheHoarder · 16/08/2026 11:31

Berlinlover · 15/08/2026 23:39

OP hasn’t bothered to come back.

Cross post.

Edited

Well, she's come back now, and it's a VERY cross post!

ThatHangryRubyReader · 16/08/2026 11:34

kaki yellow I know a fellow.....lol

ThatHangryRubyReader · 16/08/2026 11:36

Snuggleup · 16/08/2026 11:23

I went to a wedding once, we was all asked to wear floral outfits yeah floral this was 2002 not the 1900s.

We all looked like we was let lose from floral fabric factory.
My friend said we have day release from the old people's home.

We all looked awful, the bride divorced in 2004.

It was for a good cause.....lol

Sereine · 16/08/2026 11:43

My SIL wanted an autumn themed wedding, but if anything it was her fiancé who was more dictatorial about it. I remember he insisted that the best man, male relatives and all the sidesmen went to a particular suit hire place in Lancashire (we live in the South) so that they all had the same suits with burgundy waistcoats and jacket linings. My DH simply announced that that wasn't going to happen and wore grey, I wore a red jacket I already had over a neutral coloured dress. It was her second marriage, so I must admit we were even less inclined to spend a fortune on the wedding having shelled out once already.

The marriage didn't last anyway, with hindsight the mad wedding instructions should have warned both sides off.

MischkasMum · 16/08/2026 11:47

Yeah, right. You are seriously expecting your guests to go and buy a red/brown/orange suit or dress? For ONE DAY? Think you've had a brain fart. FFS! Get over yourself!

HaveIBeenTangoed · 16/08/2026 11:55

As a person who doesn’t suit autumnal colours, I would not knowingly purchase something I wouldn’t wear again. I guess you’ll have to weigh up whether you’d rather have friends and family there in none autumnal colours, or only a smaller group of people wearing the colours you want.
Besides,, aren’t wedding colours only for things like the wedding party, napkins, chair colours etc. i don’t think it extends to the whole wedding..

ifIwerenotanandroid · 16/08/2026 12:04

OP, I don't mind a reverso. I found this one very entertaining, especially the day trips with your sister. 😂 - but also 💐 to you. I'm desperate to know if she's a garden designer or just very, very critical of whatever's in front of her.

The trouble for me is, it brought back memories of an autumn-themed wedding for which I was tasked with finding browny-red bridesmaid dresses in a year when that colour was available precisely nowhere. Wish I'd stepped back right at the beginning & declined my role. I think you're right to step away from this one, although your posts after attending the wedding would've been hilarious. I agree with a PP: take the £300 & do something nice as a family.

Original poster

Autumnalbride · 16/08/2026 12:13

ifIwerenotanandroid · 16/08/2026 12:04

OP, I don't mind a reverso. I found this one very entertaining, especially the day trips with your sister. 😂 - but also 💐 to you. I'm desperate to know if she's a garden designer or just very, very critical of whatever's in front of her.

The trouble for me is, it brought back memories of an autumn-themed wedding for which I was tasked with finding browny-red bridesmaid dresses in a year when that colour was available precisely nowhere. Wish I'd stepped back right at the beginning & declined my role. I think you're right to step away from this one, although your posts after attending the wedding would've been hilarious. I agree with a PP: take the £300 & do something nice as a family.

The day trips hilarious if you're not on them. If you're on them you're uncomfortable, embarrassed and miserable
She was literally sitting on a bench with a face like a slapped arse saying it was stupid how the fruit trees were all in a line, and she could have redesigned these award winning gardens at this national trust country house so much better, the flowers were shit etc etc.
She invited me on a woodland walk a week later. I declined because fuck me if I was going to wander around listening to how shit the birdsong and the bluebells are. No thanks 🤣

OP posts:

Purplebunnie · 16/08/2026 12:23

She invited me on a woodland walk a week later. I declined because fuck me if I was going to wander around listening to how shit the birdsong and the bluebells are

@Autumnalbride I'm glad to see your sister hasn't quelled your sense of humour. Good job I wasn't drinking my coffee when I read this, I would probably have choked laughing