To expect everyone at my wedding to stick to the colour scheme?

[Autumnalbride]

I'm having an autumn themed wedding. I've asked everyone, all the wedding party, family and all the guests to wear autumn colours - brown, orange, yellow, red etc.
Some of the men want to wear grey suits but I am upset by this because I don't see grey as an autumn colour. They say they will wear autumn coloured ties and accessories but I said I want the suits to be in Autumn colours
Is this unreasonable?

Since you’re here, Faye, and just out of interest. Are ‘reverses’ against Talk Guidelines?

You sound very angry? Maybe stay away from the thread about no boxed gifts for a 1 year old today.

Her photos are going to look hideous with people in mismatched browns, oranges, burgundy etc! And how many people does she expect to be able to find an autumnal suit? Wedding party yes, you can dictate, all the guests? No! Sister sounds like a nasty piece of work. I feel sorry for her future step children, being lumbered with the Wicked Stepmother!

If you want somebody to wear specific clothes, you should be providing them.

A tie is more than sufficient.

Don't feed the troll OP.

I'd lay money on the fact that given what she has written on her website that lots of other men will turn up in dark suits with autumnal accessories and have interpreted it just as you did....I would too. She's not going to be a happy bride on her wedding day - I'd go just for the show!

Hi again!

Ah, thanks for explaining that it's a reverse. We'd had a few complaints hit the reports queue, so we thought we'd have a check-in and see what was going on!

Thanks for the heads up. 😊

Cheers all.
Faye 😁

The only colour realistically would be brown suits for the men. If I was a man, I wouldn't want to go out and buy a brown suit, it's not a colour most men would willingly wear. Black, grey or navy-blue are the standard colours, that are likely to be worn again. Not every person suits autumnal colours, regardless if male or female.

You might be able to insist on autumnal colours for the immediate wedding party, but not guests. You shouldn't be dictating colours to guests, at all. That comes across as entitled and over-the-top.

I once had a boyfriend who wore brown suits. He was incredibly slim with floppy curly hair and looked incredibly cool. It's a hard colour to pull off!

Yes YABU
Who cares what colour people are wearing to your wedding?!
Can't imagine getting this upset just because someone wants to wear grey instead of orange or whatever.
Focus on what's important! Your wedding. Not the colour of a guest's trousers. 🙄

You really want your wedding photos to look like something from Playschool? Sheesh

Oh, FFS. - Just seen it's a reverse. Wish I hadn't have bothered commenting. What's even the point of them?! 🙄

This actually isn't strictly true.

Your skin tone means there may be certain colours that you should avoid but there's generally at least one autumn colour you should be able to wear and the brightest/hue of the colour is generally more important. It's all about the tone of a colour rather than colour outright.

Also a dress in a dull tone of brown looks like a sack of spuds (as DH impolitely informed me. He wasn't wrong). But brown with bright orange and red through it really suits me. My colouring isn't that unusual in the UK.

The trouble is that finding the right hue of clothing is difficult as it depends which colours are in fashion this season as to what you will find in the shops. You then face the fun of trying on everything for fit. It's like trying to find a needle in a haystack to get it right and tbh most people don't actually care that much not have the time.

She runs the risk here of being upstaged by one of her guests too because autumn colours can be bright and bold. I suit bright oranges and yellows and reds. If I wear a bright orange solid dress to a wedding, guess who is going to stand out on the photos? DH has similar toning. And actually does own a fun yellow suit. We would not be going out to buy a dull tone as that doesn't suit our colouring and is within the colours asked for.

Looking around the shops ATM, burgundy with pink running through it seems on trend. It looks great and autumny. But would look dire next to a bunch of people in orange and brown and other autumn colours.

She's asking for trouble and an effect that doesn't really work.

If she wants to control the colour scheme that much she should be providing suits and dresses out her own pocket.

I agree, brown suits can be gorgeous. My DH owns quite a few tweed jackets in gorgeous „autumn colours“ (not that he exclusively wears them in autumn. Or has ever worn them to a wedding) as well…

but this wedding’s colour scheme isn’t (necessarily) easier for women / female guests IMO.

most autumn colours (which includes peach, salmon, terracotta, rusty browns, yellows etc) make me look ill. I don’t own a single item of clothing (and certainly not formal wear) that would fit the colour scheme. I’d have to purchase a dress in a colour scheme that makes me look sickly, which I’ll never wear again…

a very pale lemon-y yellow or cool forest green might work. But OP‘s sister might not deem these as suitably autumnal…

Ah...ok . .thanks 👍🏻

Yes. A wedding should be about two people wanting to spend the rest of their lives together, surrounded by people who care about them, not a childish performance for instagram. I'm not sure you are old enough to understand the commitment attached to a wedding, grow up.

Once parents are gone, realistically unless you see your sister as the sort of person you want to be friends with then just cut her out.

Losing your parents is awful but it frees you from the obligation of playing happy families with your vile sibling.

They're talking about her sister because it's a stupid reverse thread. (So it's the sister getting married, not the OP, who's said about the colour scheme.)
Reverses should be banned, they just confuse things.

In a word…..YES!

You’re being a Bridezilla! It’s rude enough to dictate the colours people must wear but particularly so for men - how many brown, green, red, orange suits do you see???? There’s nothing wrong with grey or black or dark navy suits with Autumn coloured accessories. What is wrong with you? FFS it’ll cost people HUNDREDS of pounds on their outfits, travel, gifts, hotel accommodation maybe, etc - they’ll just think ‘fuck it’ & won’t attend! 🤷🏼‍♀️ And you’ll only have yourself to blame!

Thanks - yeah they really are confusing!!

I think brown suits are a bit of an ask, unless you're getting married in 1973.

I think you should go more for the approach that you would appreciate autumnal colours if people have them - people shouldn't have to buy/hire clothes they would never wear again if they are just 'ordinary' guests at the wedding.

Autumnal coloured ties would be a more reasonable ask for the men than entire suits. Your female guests may well have something appropriate anyway, I know I do even though those aren't my favourite colours (I was just thinking I have the perfect outfit, actually - can I come, please? 😆)

ETA just seen it's a reverse, durrr.

Why does it never occur to too many posters to check to see whether the OP has updated?

All the have to do is select See All in the first post.

This is clearly a reverse.

YABU for the reverse.
YABU for escalating this conflict with your sister and kicking her out of the fam chat and blocking her- what???
It sounds like this issue started not with her asking all the adult men to buy orange suits, but upset over your 13 year old DS refusing to be in the wedding party and then a disagreement over what he should wear - which unreasonably escalated on both sides.

Your poor guests. You are being unreasonable. Have you lost sight of what the day means?

Taking all this Autumn wedding nonsense out of the question and just focusing on the other things you have said about your sister - the Reddit posts, her moods, her behaviour on days out etc. - she sounds like an utter ratbag and I wouldn't be having any more to do with her.