To expect everyone at my wedding to stick to the colour scheme?

[Autumnalbride]

I'm having an autumn themed wedding. I've asked everyone, all the wedding party, family and all the guests to wear autumn colours - brown, orange, yellow, red etc.
Some of the men want to wear grey suits but I am upset by this because I don't see grey as an autumn colour. They say they will wear autumn coloured ties and accessories but I said I want the suits to be in Autumn colours
Is this unreasonable?

The title refers to 'my wedding' and it reads as though it's the OP's wedding, 'I'm having an Autumn themed wedding' is the first sentence, unless later posts contradict this.

Bridezilla

It’s a reverse.

Apparently it's revealed as a reverse halfway through, I missed it too.

have only read OP:

this is fine, OP. You put what you like on invitations, have whatever batshit dresscode you want.
but you don't get to be in a snit when people say "thanks for the invitation, can't wait to see the photos, i won't be there"

I'd play along to not cause a fuss but I'd roll my eyes and be unhappy that I'd have to buy clothes in colours I will never wear again. I'm laughing at the idea of my husband buying a brown suit.

Surely, your guests comfort and happiness is more important than what the photos look like?

Does it apply to shoes and footwear as well ? Autumn colours only.

What shallow rubbish. It makes a mockery of the ceremony to be honest.

@SockPlantit’s a pointless reverse.

@Autumnalbride I don’t blame you for doing everything that you did. Your sister sounds mean and self centred. You are much better off stepping away. You’ve taken enough. Time to think of yourself and your family’s happiness.
I’ve never seen a reverse post before, and I think it was a sound way of getting your point across. From what I’ve read on here, almost everyone agrees that to demand guests wear certain colours is ridiculous—and very unreasonable!

Yes, yes it is! Its also barmy, let people wear whatever the fuck they like. I'm glad I got married in the dark ages before SM and influencer.

Oh, shut up and behave yourself.

Your sister sounds like a dreadful person. Just because you have the same parents it doesn’t mean you have to like her. If she was a friend not family you would have dropped her by now.

Yet again I will stick to my normal response on these threads - Weddings simply are not worth the hassle or expense.

They cause unlimited amounts of stress for the bride, groom and guests.

They are an obscene waste of money

They cause rifts in friendships and families that never get resolved.

All because someone wants to okay princesses for the day ( ask any man about their true feelings about weddings, they genuinely don't care and are going along with what ever the bride wants).

Marriage? fine, go and sign something at the Town Hall for legal reasons. Have a nice meal afterwards. That's all that is needed.

Anyone who does a reverse thread is going to be unreasonable in RL too I reckon

I told my DH months ago that I don't think I want to see her any more. This was after another day trip out where she was nasty, angry and judgy the entire time.
Being horrible not just to us, but making awful judgemental comments about other families and kids around us and saying everything was shit and she could design it better.

DH encouraged me to keep trying because she's my sister.

But now I'm done and it's very clearly not just about this, it's just the straw that broke the camels back.

I don’t really know where to begin here. Was this kind of communication normal in your childhood home growing up? Snapping, shouting, abusive language?

To me, for example, sending an aggressive voice note to a group is already completely unacceptable, nevermind responding in the same way, telling someone to F off etc. If someone spoke to me like that, they wouldn’t speak to me again

All the interactions you describe between each other sound really unpleasant and I’m not sure why you keep putting yourself into these situations over and over. Why socialise with someone like that? Do you accept people that act like that/ talk to you like that?

The way your sister acts in public implies she may need MH support. It may imply an unsafe home environment for the children - if that’s her in public, how far does she go privately? The way she acts at home could be a thousand times worse. Speaking from experience here.

The wedding colour scheme is the least of your issues.

You may be persuaded to go back, but I’m unsure this relationship does either of you any good or offers anything positive to your life. You may be better off apart

I have a plethora of dresses in every colour of the rainbow, so I wouldn't have trouble finding something to fit your colour scheme. However, it's a completely different story for my husband. He has two suits, one black and one grey, both of which he has had for years. These only tend to see the light of day for weddings, funerals and the occasional fancy event so are in great condition. Suits are expensive and generally made to last and he would certainly not consider buying a new one, in an irregular colour like orange or yellow, which could only realistically be worn once at one wedding, a wedding where he wasn't even in the bridal party at that!
I imagine he is pretty typical of many men. At a push you might be able to request, not demand, that male guests where a token in your chosen colours, a tie or something, but demanding that they all go out and spend a small fortune on a red, yellow or orange suit would be utterly outrageous!

Your DH is…. Peculiar to say the least

Assuming you're in the UK, I thought people just wore nice clothes to a wedding. Tbh it seems an unnecessary palaver for one day and some photos. Why not just have autumnal colour decorations if that's what you want? I can't imagine my now ExDp wearing autumnal colours at all.

Happy Sunday, everyone! 🌻🌻🌻

Just popping by with a gentle reminder about kindness, please.

It's absolutely fine to have different tastes and opinions about weddings, and not everyone is going to love an autumn-themed celebration. However, there's a difference between sharing your view and being unnecessarily rude about something that's clearly important to the OP.

Happy wedding planning, OP. We're loving the autumn theme! 🍂🍂🍂

Best wishes,
Faye
MNHQ.

Asking men to buy a suit in a horrid colour
( assuming they can actually get one in those colours) and then never wear it or be able to sell it

same for women - i cant afford to buy new clothes for a wedding

dint expect any gifts

Tell me you haven't read the full thread then, Faye 😅😅😂😂

Hilarious that MNHQ come on to finger wag without reading OP’s posts in full.

The autumn theme isn’t OP’s, it’s her sister’s, so you don’t have to reassure her that you love the theme MNHQ.

Or has OP’s sister been in touch to complain?

It’s a reverse, Faye.

You only dictate colours for those that you are buying for bridesmaids mob and mog may coordinate but you can’t force the issue