AIBU to feel annoyed after a mum's sarcastic supermarket comment?

[Msidontknow]

In a local supermarket getting some bits - it's quiet and I'm taking my time. I come around to turn into the other isle and a young toddler age 2-3 is waiting/hanging around making it difficult for me to move. I wait for him to see me to move - I don't say anything or do anything as I'm not in a rush and he was just being a child - the mum sees me waiting, calls him over and says loudly 'he's not a mind reader'. I was taken back and lost my chance to respond which would've sounded something like ' I'm sorry for not rushing your son and waiting patiently for him to see me'.

The thought did cross my mind would she have said this if I was a different ethnicity?

Maybe it's the heat or the rudeness but I'm annoyed at the sarky comment towards me for just trying to be nice.

Maybe a bit weird to see a grown adult waiting on a child to move without the adult saying anything to said child? Were you looking at the child while waiting?

Supermarket shopping can be stressful. It’s nothing deeper than that.

How can I be a victim today syndrome!!
Get a life!!

I would practice responses to people like this. 'There's no need to be rude thank you'. 'A little bit of manners never hurt anyone.' Etc

I always feel much better when I answer these kind of people back - but not in as rude a way as them!

To eb charitable to her she may have lost track if him and been stressed about that? I often feel stressed with my DC in the supermarket because they are constantly getting in everyone's way and I feel guilty. But i would never snap at you like that I'd have hauled the DC and said 'come on X, you're in the way'.

Visualise in your head your polite yet cutting response, and her face, and you will feel better

@Msidontknow How would you have liked the mother to respond? What could she have said in that moment that would have made you feel respected, included, and valued?

I absolutely hate it when people stand there expecting me to move without saying excuse me and I will take longer.
A toddler is different as they don’t have the understanding but it’s still easy enough to say excuse me.

I was on your side until you asked if it was racism.,,,

It doesn’t sound like it was linked to your ethnicity at all. She just sounds like a bit of a dick.

She wasn't embarrassed....if she was she would've apologised. No she was just rude. OP didn't do anything wrong here

She could've just smiled and taken her child out of the way.....not made a sarcy comment!.it's not like OP was complaining

She was rude but people are strange, she was probably feeling super stressed so snapped at you which obviously wasn’t the ideal thing to do at all. I wouldn’t wallow over it.

How about you check your privilege !!

That wasn’t the advice here though.

More likely she felt stressed and embarrassed for her own reasons and snapped at you for simply standing there waiting for her child to move. I'm not saying she shouldn't have been polite, of course she should, but she probably felt you were judging her parenting. I doubt I'd even notice the ethnicity of someone else if I was feel strung out in a supermarket with a toddler. That's solely on you.

Quite possibly. Sadly we are seeing racism rear its ugly head more and more in recent times as people become emboldened by Populist politics on the far-right.

That can be quite a satisfying thing to do, tbf. 😆Does grind my gears when people suggest women should play the appeasers at all times, though.

I was answering directly the quote...
"I am of Mediterranean ethnicity and yes there absolutely is. I get the odd remark but nothing like the constant drip, drip, brown or black friends do."
Maybe you have selective reading skills?

In any case what, in your opinion wuld be wrong in referring to peoples colour as black or brown? Do you alo have a problem with refering to someones colour as 'white'?

I agree, but there are so many rude entitled people around now, I think it's wise to pick your battles.
In this case I would have simply ignored the woman, in other cases I wouldn't. I think it depends on the situation, the tone in which someone speaks to you, and whether you are in a peaceful state of mind yourself.

OP suggested that the mum's response was racially motivated.

Some people just react. Leave the poor behaviour with her. Most of us would have called him over and apologised...

I agree, that would have been the normal civilised thing to do.
Unfortunately some people are just not very nice, and snapping at complete strangers in the supermarket, when they have done nothing wrong, is just not a nice way to act.

You have the patience of a saint!

Do you think she meant, you could have said “excuse me”

I'm sorry for not rushing your son and waiting patiently for him to see me'.

To me this comes across quite passive aggressive.

It's bizarre - how did she even know you were waiting for her DC to move? You might have been standing there waiting for a shopping companion to come back with the yoghurts you forgot to pick up in aisle 1, or trying to remember if you needed to get more milk or not, or considering whether it was worth getting the three-for-two on something or whether you'd end up throwing one of them away.