AIBU to feel annoyed after a mum's sarcastic supermarket comment?

[Msidontknow]

In a local supermarket getting some bits - it's quiet and I'm taking my time. I come around to turn into the other isle and a young toddler age 2-3 is waiting/hanging around making it difficult for me to move. I wait for him to see me to move - I don't say anything or do anything as I'm not in a rush and he was just being a child - the mum sees me waiting, calls him over and says loudly 'he's not a mind reader'. I was taken back and lost my chance to respond which would've sounded something like ' I'm sorry for not rushing your son and waiting patiently for him to see me'.

The thought did cross my mind would she have said this if I was a different ethnicity?

Maybe it's the heat or the rudeness but I'm annoyed at the sarky comment towards me for just trying to be nice.

Are they? I don’t feel this expectation upon me in the slightest

Maybe you have resting bitch face (like me 😅) and she thought you were annoyed or maybe she was a racist cow who automatically thinks other ethnicities must be rude / impatient / aggressive or whatever other stupid things they think.

I live in what was a very, very white neighbourhood right on the outskirts of London and as it's getting more diverse it's shocking to hear the racism that still exists. It doesn't surprise me at all that normal daily interactions are more aggressive / rude / hostile for you.

Me neither, but I’ve noticed around MN that women are often counselled to handle people being shitty to them with a ‘big smile’ or words to that effect. 🙄

If I have ever seen that advice, it’s not been to smile at them insofar as pander them but rather smile patronisingly and ignore because they aren’t worth spending any energy on them

I think maybe you’re over thinking it and making it racism is a bit strong, people make snarky comments, just shrug it off,

Being so rude to OP was not ok. Why should she smile and say "No problem" to such a rude person? Perhaps the rude woman should have smiled instead.

I would have responded to her with "it's really fine, I'm not in any sort of hurry"
Other times I am in a hurry and would need to attract the Mum's attention or speak to the child (depending on the exact situation), and that can feel a bit snarky. I remember what it's like shopping with toddlers.
So, it's nice to be in a position these days when I'm in a position to not bother others just trying to get stuff done.

It really is not! I absolutely abhor any type of racist/ bigotry etc but the other thing I abhor is people making everything about race. Yes people can be shitty to each other and yes some people can be more shitty if they’re a different colour but it’s not always the reason to be shitty. When I read the OPs post I just thought the child’s mother was in a bad mood or just generally unpleasant as anyone of any race can. You know, if you make everything about race then when someone is actually guilty of racism, it tends to not get taken seriously. Me? I would always call out racism. In this case, unless it’s obvious ( it clearly wasn’t as the OP even questioned herself) I believe it wasn’t. Heck, we don’t even know which person was which colour in this scenario from the original post

So you just stood there and stared at the kid expecting him to jump out of the way?

I'm sorry, but that is far ruder than politely talking to him. That kind of shit would annoy me too.

I’ve read the op a couple of times, I’m at a loss as to what it was about the interaction that warranted a hand wringing Mumsnet post.

Random stranger was (at worst), very mildly rude.

Extrapolating racist intent from such an inconsequential interaction is a bit much.

Yours.

Well as a white person who gets racial abuse from disgruntled non white customers fairly regularly. I sympathise.

Gentle parenting? Incompetent and rude! You should have told her FAFO parenting is in now!
OP, unless she said something racist, I wouldn't assume this is a factor. I have been told (when asking a mum to watch her child who was hitting younger children in softplay) that I wouldn't have said it to a man-yes I would!

Bless. You actually think white people don't experience racism.

I frequently face racism at work from customers and i"m white. Now what?

People proving that racism is alive and thriving, whilst bending themselves into unimaginable contortions trying to deny that it's so.

Amazing.

Trust your instincts OP, you know it ,when you see and don't let anyone on here try to gaslight you.

It's not everywhere, but it's there .

Who from? I don’t know what your asking me tbh. Are you comparing racism being white to facing racism being black?

Questioning someone's instinct isn't gaslighting, it's trying to better understand. In the case of the OP, she wondered if the exchange would have happened if she was a different ethnicity.
Based on the what OP describes it's hard to see any racism. We can't know if the mother is racist.

Are you aware that the poster was answering someone in kind?

I'm not a sensitive delicate creature and I have taken 54 trips around the sun - I'm also mixed race and the darkest person in my family ( I have a white DB) . I can sense subtle switches when I encounter something off - i can't explain it and I'm not talking about someone simply not liking me because I can be really annoying.

No, it really isn't.🙄

So the only time someone is annoyed with somome is race related? People of another race are not human and cant be annoying like anyone else?

Justifiable or not the reaction how patronising the idea the only reason someone is annoyed with you is race? Same when people say they don't like a news reader or cast member on screen

This obsession with 'oh we can't say anything about someone or we will be called racist' is weird

All humans can be annoying at times that is life

Well that's you, but OP herself was not sure the comment was racist.
Are you saying that just the fact she wondered if it was racist and that posters are also wondering and suggesting it wasn't means that they're gaslighting her?

I can try and explain it to you, but I can't understand for you. Never mind. Night night love 😴.

Please do explain, rather than patronising me.
If you and OP are so sure the mother was being racist then just say so.
I am of mixed ethnicity BTW.