AIBU to feel annoyed after a mum's sarcastic supermarket comment?

[Msidontknow]

In a local supermarket getting some bits - it's quiet and I'm taking my time. I come around to turn into the other isle and a young toddler age 2-3 is waiting/hanging around making it difficult for me to move. I wait for him to see me to move - I don't say anything or do anything as I'm not in a rush and he was just being a child - the mum sees me waiting, calls him over and says loudly 'he's not a mind reader'. I was taken back and lost my chance to respond which would've sounded something like ' I'm sorry for not rushing your son and waiting patiently for him to see me'.

The thought did cross my mind would she have said this if I was a different ethnicity?

Maybe it's the heat or the rudeness but I'm annoyed at the sarky comment towards me for just trying to be nice.

The woman was a bit curt

If you are going to see racism in every exchange like this… then your life is going to be a pretty damn miserable one

As a black person, never in a million years would it have crossed my mind that this could be anything to do with ‘ethnicity’. Have I missed something here?

I've lived many years seeing the way I do the world and I don't often wonder if unpleasant experiences are to do with my ethnicity - however today I did wonder. Not sure what made me think of that. But we are where we are.

Are you prone to over thinking situations? It’s so odd that you are giving an innocuous comment in a supermarket any further thought and somehow linking it to racism. To be “annoyed” is weirder still.

We just say "excuse me" to small kids. They look up, move. Doesn't happen often but nor me nor DH will just silently stare at kids around. It can be said nicely so they don't get spooked

If I want to live here? Can you explain what you mean by that? What's here?

Makes sense why you were so triggered by my thinking the unecessary remark to me to be linked to ethnicity.

I would think that she's just worried that you were annoyed by her kid. It's hard with a little one: I've had strangers unreasonably annoyed by my then-small DC being a tiny bit loud AND strangers tell me off when I've shushed my DC at exactly the same volume. I don't think it was about you, OP.

It's got nothing at all to do with your ethnicity. It's to do with entitled stroppy mothers.

Once when I was almost knocked over by two children riding scooters in a supermarket I sidled up to my sister at the bread counter and quietly said "let's hurry up and get out of here because there are kids on scooters". A woman who happened to be standing right next to us really let rip, announcing that she was their mother, and her children were perfectly entitled to scoot around in the supermarket if they wanted to.

It was a few years ago but I've never forgotten the aggression on her face. It was actually quite scary.

Everyone in that experience was white British.

TBF, your would be response was also a bit weird, even though you didn't say it. A big smile and a "Sorry, I didn't want to squash them" or the like would have done. No need to demonstrate gentle parenting skills.

I'm just responding to your posts.

You seem to have the same amount of time I do.

You use too many words to say go get a life. But noted.

YANBU. I have this from a mum with a huge buggy in a she shoe and she obviously needed to be there and I was happy to wait but she bit my head off and said something rude off hand

its Awkward asking kids to move though. She was rude and sarcastic. Some people are funny when you talk to their kids.

OP, I am going to guess that you live alone and left this encounter to go home, and stew on it?

No. But they attract more than their fair share of rudeness from some so it’s not hard to see where the assumption comes from.

No I don't actually live alone. Family of 4. I'm not stewing on anything. Was just disheartened at the time. But onwards and upwards.

OP didn’t say she was from another country - she said she was a different ethnicity. Not the same thing at all. I thought she was being a bit unreasonable in assuming racism was an element. Until I read your post.

Exactly this. I have a similar age toddler who is prone to getting in the way, so I’m on him like a hawk in places like a supermarket. In the same situation I’d have moved him away, reminded him to look where he is and then apologised to you myself.

Getting snippy with you wouldn’t have crossed my mind.

Totally agree with this.
She was obviously just a rude person.
No point in wasting your time and thinking about this. Just try and forget about it as its not worth stressing yourself about it.

If you want to live here you need to understand how to live here

WTF is that about? Where does it say the OP was not born here?

Have you told them your suspicions about this woman being racist?

She was probably one of those people who is never wrong (and her child is never wrong) and lashes out at anyone who seems to be implying a miniscule lapse of perfection such as standing in someone's way momentarily when you are 2. I find this sort of thing disheartening too OP, but think how exhausting it must be being her.

Just one of those things, forget about it.
The mum was distracted trying to do supermarket shopping with a toddler- actually one of the worst tasks ever.
It does annoy me when people stand there waiting for you to move though instead of saying a simple “excuse me”, it can sometimes come accross as passive aggressive

On the basis of this one comment, you have extrapolated this??

How long were you stood there? She probably thought it was a bit odd that you didn't just say excuse me!