Ds accused of a hate crime

[dinosaursroars]

Hi everyone i need advice on how to deal with ds2

A few nights ago my eldest came to me in tears and said that he thought he was gay and had a bf who was his best friend first and i knew him but he said that they kept it quiet as his bfs family are muslim but they somehow found out and he broke up with ds they were going to be friends but ds told him he shouldn’t date a girl just for his parents approval as it’s selfish and not fair to treat a girl like that

boy said ds didn’t understand and blocked him this was a few weeks ago and because he lives close ds hasnt wanted to go out anywhere incase he sees him which ive noticed as he’s not gone anywhere all summer

his younger brother overheard this as he walked into the living room and didn’t say anything but ive had a message from the boys mum they live in the same building as us so i have her number but we arent close but she said ds2 had seen her son in the park and shouted at him, threw his pepsi over him and said homophobic slurs at him and his friends and maybe ds her son wasn’t sure shouted racist slurs at him she’s mentioned the police for a hatecrime which has freaked me out even tho she probs should as that behaviour isn’t ok

ive texted him to come home and he hasn’t the mum said her son said they rode off on their bikes but hes not even answered me. ds1 is upset as hes made everything worse

ages as people will ask probably ds1 is 17 next friday and ds2 is 14, the boy is 17

I already said in my other post, you’ve combed the ops old posts and tried blaming her son’s behaviour on the size of her house and the fact she had more than 2.4 children. I knew a woman who was just as up her own ass about her perfect son and parenting but at 14 he was a thug and later on imprisoned for selling crack and heron.

Which is arguably worse than what we’re discussing here anyway

So unless the child is selling crack - parents should just let them crack on and be abusive, get in huge amounts of trouble at school and throw things at members of the public?

How ridiculous. If his brother had been dumped by a girl would it have been acceptable to cycle over, shout misogynistic insults at her and throw a drink at her?

I haven’t said that don’t try and twist what I’ve said. I was just responding to your attempted pile on and personal attacks against the op (attacking her small home and how many children she has) trying to make out that’s the reason he’s misbehaving.

As I’ve said what he’s done isn’t right but it’s hardly bad enough to warrant blaming the op as if you can control every single thing your teenager does. My own parents were pretty ordinary and nuclear family picket fencey and I still embarrassed them by having a baby at 16.

There was no need for you to turn the knife on the op bringing up old posts and blaming this on her home having three bedrooms instead of six. You know you were trying to be nasty spare the faux concerned advisor.

I wasn’t attacking the OP in any way. And just because selling crack is ‘more wrong’ doesn’t make this ok. That’s like saying someone shouldn’t get into trouble for stealing a motorbike because they didn’t steal a car.

I haven’t said you were, that’s why that comment was quoting sneezetheday.

Obviously not…did you read my full post? I clearly said it was disgusting and unacceptable…it’s just not racially motivated so not a hate crime.

Why on earth should the OP respond to questions about why she had 5 children? I mean, it's not even a question, is it? Its a snakey way of saying "you shouldn't have had 5 children" used by those who don't have the guts to come out with it. The OP is seeking help with the situation they are in. You pontificating about things you don't like that they can't change anyway is a waste of everyone's time.

Boys are not very mature at 14 and not everyone agrees with mixed sexes.