AIBU to expect my parents to manage one vegan barbecue meal?

[veganbbqdrama]

Surely most people can survive if they have just one vegan meal ???!!!

My parents have decided they don’t think they can attend a bbq at my house due to the fact we are a vegan family and they are worried about ‘nutrition gaps’ !!!

Neither have any health conditions.

It’s one meal and we are offering a wide variety of things plus desserts. I said to then if they don’t fancy it that’s fine but they said it’s because they are worried about the food, and asked could they bring their own (no! ) or would I get them a few bits they can eat (non vegan) to which I said I can’t have it in the house.

Surely they could just come for a drink and eat later at home ? They are making such a fuss ?? It’s not like we are pushing veganism or the ethics behind our choice we weren’t planning on talking about it just having a nice family get together !

a meat eater accommodating a vegan is not at all the same as asking a vegan to buy, store, cook and serve meat. Everyone eats food that’s vegan (every vegetable, fruit, cereal etc is a vegan food item), but asking someone who is ethically opposed to eating animals to cook meat is not ok. For an ethical vegan (and I mean someone who lives their entire life by the principle of non-harm to animals) that would be the same as asking a kosher Jew to cook up some bacon just to be nice to their family.

You are allergic to all vegan food? So you only ever eat meat, dairy and eggs? How unusual.

And she doesn’t want meat or dairy products in her house. Which I completely understand - despite being a carnivore.

Yeah I can’t eat Quorn either. Makes me ill and it is an UHPF so not at all healthy.

OP’s parents will eat vegan food every day. It’s ridiculous.

I will suggest that, I’m considering offering them an afternoon tea type spread as I know in the past they’ve eaten cucumber sandwiches, crisps and Victoria sponge and I can make a vegan cake that you just would never guess was vegan (or I can get the Oggs vegan mini Victoria sponges 😂😂)

Veggies are lovely on the bbq.

OP isn’t serving quorn and I doubt she’d serve any vegetables they couldn’t eat.

Ah OP, now you've made me hungry!!!

They don’t eat fruit, vegetables, rice, pasta?

The parents first offered to bring their own food I’m sure they’d be happy to bring it already cooked to reheat themselves or cook it themselves and clean up after.

It is OP that has rejected two compromises.

As a meat eater I can honestly say that some of the most delicious food I've had has been in vegan restaurants. They are missing out and on the basis of lack of nutrition...plain daft - they would hardly starve.

Me and DH got married last year and had an
entirely vegan wedding. Anyone who didn’t want to eat a couple of very nice vegan meals was welcome to either pop out and get different food or just not come! There wasn’t a single person who didn’t come because of our menu choices. If anyone had actually been angry enough to make a fuss, knowing how important our vegan life is to us both, frankly the would have had their invite rescinded anyway.

I don't agree with this because I go out of my way to make vegetarian food for family members that require it that I just wouldn't normally make if everyone was a meat eater. I think I have replaced meat burgers with something like large stuffed mushrooms (cheese garlic. pesto etc), grilled vegetarian sausages and other bits and pieces. I just wouldn't bother if everyone was a meat eater and I definitely wouldn't bother with vegetarian sausages but at Christmas I use them to make sausage rolls for my SIL and niece.

I hate mushrooms and pulses like beans and lentils don’t agree with me but I would just come and drink! Why can’t they do that? YANBU OP.

I can’t see why non carnivores can’t eat the occasional carnivorous meal😂

I say this tongue in cheek as I eat very little meat, but wouldn’t touch the plant based “fake meat” which a lot of vegans eat.

Do they really dislike pulses? I am not very fussy with food, but really have an issue with beans and therefore find myself so hungry after a vegan meal because I end up with no protein. Also, if you actually eat real cheese, you realise how absolutely awful fake vegan "cheese" is. If you want them to come, figure out what they actually like and cater for them.

I wasnt talking about the OP (her menu sounds lovely though I could eat very little of it). I was addressing your "why its ok to lie to people about feeding them veggie/vegan burgers" post.

Absolutely ridiculous of your parents. I happily eat meat and don't wish to change that, but I quite often eat vegan meals quite by chance, because it's a nice sounding recipe I found in a cookbook for example.

I have vegan and vegetarian friends and I wouldn't dream of asking them to serve me meat.

Except a vegan burger would make me very sick as I'm allergic to both quorn and soy. I'd be utterly livid if you lied to me about what you were serving me and as a result I ended up with extremely painful stomach issues and sickness and needing to take up to a week off of work on sick pay as a result. Dick move. It's not "harmless", it would cause me a lot of pain and cost me a lot of money.

It's an appalling thing to do to lie about what is in the food you are serving another adult for any reason. Adults have the right to choose what they do and don't want to eat, noone has the right to trick them into eating something they don't want to eat, for any reason.

How would you feel if they suggested “just one meat bbq” I?

It is food fraud. Don’t be ridiculous. You can’t tell someone this a burger made from meat when it is really made from beets or whatever. You can’t even say here is a beef burger when it’s made from horse meat- as Tesco’s found out some years ago.

Depends what it is
Im allergic to Quorn and dont touch all thise preformed UPF vegan " meats" so probably wouldnt bother going

Vegan ones aren’t.

But they are choosing to decline this invitation, which is their right. No one has the right to force them to attend an event they don't want to go to, nor consume food they don't want to eat. It's that simple.