AIBU to expect my parents to manage one vegan barbecue meal?

[veganbbqdrama]

Surely most people can survive if they have just one vegan meal ???!!!

My parents have decided they don’t think they can attend a bbq at my house due to the fact we are a vegan family and they are worried about ‘nutrition gaps’ !!!

Neither have any health conditions.

It’s one meal and we are offering a wide variety of things plus desserts. I said to then if they don’t fancy it that’s fine but they said it’s because they are worried about the food, and asked could they bring their own (no! ) or would I get them a few bits they can eat (non vegan) to which I said I can’t have it in the house.

Surely they could just come for a drink and eat later at home ? They are making such a fuss ?? It’s not like we are pushing veganism or the ethics behind our choice we weren’t planning on talking about it just having a nice family get together !

A vegan diet isn't particularly healthy for the planet- the amount of pulses and veg that would have to be grown would be huge- and land which is suitable for pasture is often not suitable for crops, so increasing yield enough on the suitable land would take a lot of fertilizer, none of which would be natural because there wouldn't be any meat animals to produce it.

Unless you eat meat products for ethical reasons, it's in no way the same thing.

Sorry but what sort of friends expect their friends to be hypocrites if they love them enough?

Why don't they love me enough to break their rules very occasionally?
But I get they don't and never will.
I will always cook exactly what they want to eat and they will never ever even make a slight adjustment to their offered meals to me.
So be it.

My dad wouldn't have eaten anything other than bread and butter on the OP's menu as he was a meat and three veg type and only ate lentils if they were red ones in a meat stew. He was like that all my life and there was no point my trying to change his palate in his 70s. He didn't even eat burgers or sausages so I'd make sure there were things he liked at a barbecue like salmon, steaks, bread and butter and some plain green salad. If they are people who normally eat a wide range of food and who are ok with eating pulses (i.e. not low FODMAP etc) then they should be ok. My dad would have been nearly 90 if he were still alive. There are not many left of his generation but some younger people feel like that and if it were my parents I'd cater for them. My DM would have eaten anything you put in front of her as long as it wasn't shellfish. I would love the menu the OP described but not if vegan meant fake meat and cheese substitutes.

What age were your children when they decided to eat meat? Id be very concerned they'd been given misinformation about the meat and dairy industry or even no information at all on nutrition etc if they were very young when they made that decision.

It's very difficult, it's one of the difficult things about being vegan. And why it's important to have a safe space in your own home.

It's not that I regard meat eaters as animal abusers, it's that it's factually correct that they pay others to kill animals (and abuse them in myriad other ways) for them to eat. If I did that to a poodle I'd rightly be called an animal abuser. Just because something is normalised doesn't make it morally right.

Poor little meat flakes being forced to eat a carrot stick 😭

Thats rude to the majority of us who will make every effort to accommodate your dietary requirements when you eat with us.