AIBU to expect my parents to manage one vegan barbecue meal?

[veganbbqdrama]

Surely most people can survive if they have just one vegan meal ???!!!

My parents have decided they don’t think they can attend a bbq at my house due to the fact we are a vegan family and they are worried about ‘nutrition gaps’ !!!

Neither have any health conditions.

It’s one meal and we are offering a wide variety of things plus desserts. I said to then if they don’t fancy it that’s fine but they said it’s because they are worried about the food, and asked could they bring their own (no! ) or would I get them a few bits they can eat (non vegan) to which I said I can’t have it in the house.

Surely they could just come for a drink and eat later at home ? They are making such a fuss ?? It’s not like we are pushing veganism or the ethics behind our choice we weren’t planning on talking about it just having a nice family get together !

Surely a barbecue is more about the company than the food?

@veganbbqdrama

your food plan sounds amazing to me.

im not vegan nor vegetarian but everything you’ve said your making is normal food for everyone,so im not sure what they’re worried about.

mind you my parents are v traditional in their eating ,and plain so their idea of a bbq is sausages burgers dry buns and rolls,lettuce tomato and cucumber (no dressing) as a salad and maybe some mayo or bbq sauce 🙈

I was going to say the same 😂

Does It all Just sound a bit strange and exotic to them? Can’t you do some chips and crisps too? Maybe it’s the lack of mediocrity that’s the problem (I think it sounds lush).

Do you only eat meat?

No it's about both- otherwise it wouldn't be a barbeque.
You can't expect people who don't want to eat anything to be happy with everyone around them eating- just so you don't have to compromise.

Oh Christ, I’m having a barbecue in a couple of weeks. Are burgers and sausages now old fashioned?! 😩 What’s replaced them?

I'm drawing a slight blank at the moment but you can have a mammalian meat allergy. It's caused by being bitten by a type of tick I think.

I could eat very little of what OP has on the menu as I don't eat bean or lentils. Also don't eat foods that should be hot, cold ie rice, pasta, potato.

You are both being unreasonable. Then for assuming you will accommodate their dietary reqs as your guests - and you for the stupid "I can't have their food in my house" comment.

That sounds banging. It’s made me very hungry.

sorry but I couldn't eat any of that. i wouldn't care though, I love flatbread plain.

Your bbq food sounds lovely!

Your parents are being silly - they can go without meat and dairy for one meal surely?!

Our DIL is vegetarian and they don’t have meat in the house at all. DS eats meat when he’s out but they eat vegetarian at home. When we visit we eat what they eat. I wouldn’t dream of bringing my own food (meat) to theirs. When they come to stay with us DIL is incredibly easy and flexible. Never wants me to do her anything special and always offers to just eat whatever carbs and veg I’m cooking. Of course I do her a veggie main thing too but the point is we all try to fit in with what is the norm in each household.

You are over simplifying matters and being intentionally obtuse. You know perfectly well that vegans have ethical objections to eating animal products. I’ve yet to meet a single personal, self proclaimed carnivores included, that ethically objects to eating vegetables.

Nobody has stated that vegans are physically incapable of eating meat, so the “but she CAN eat meat” is just a straw man argument that you keep churning out as you’ve nothing else to rely on. Very silly and quite transparent.

You’re not being unreasonable.

The only time I went crazy thinking about nutrition from every single meal was when I was pregnant the first time. I was convinced if I didn’t eat enough protein my baby would be weak and sickly etc. Hormones are funny things.

Your barbeque sounds lovely, I hope you enjoy it

On the other bbq thread there is a whole discussion about how they are bbq staples and if you don’t have them people find it odd.

"Everyone can eat vegan" is a bit disingenious.

Yes, everyone eats some things which happen to be vegan compatible, but full vegan meals are often using ingredients or combinations which traditional eaters aren't used to/don't like/don't agree with their stomach.

Soya, lentils, fake meat, mushrooms all can be problem for some.

Could you offer simple familiar food which just happens to be vegan as well?
Maybe something like baked potato, ice salad, sweet corn and ideally some protein if you know what they do eat (simple beans not mixed in salad?)

I wouldn’t go to a vegan bbq where they refused to accommodate my dietary preferences. I can’t stand the hypocrisy of veganism. They without fail to demand that their dietary choices are met but refuse to make the same accommodations for those who choose to eat meat. They also act as though they have some sort of moral high ground yet veganism is neither a healthy diet nor is it healthy for the planet.

this. When i was younger there were loads of fruit and vegetables that I would eat and enjoy. I would still enjoy then but my digestion would not.

Never in my life have I cared as to what someone cooks for me, I'm just very grateful they have gone to the trouble.

Went to a friend's the other day and she had done a vegan chilli. I don't think it even occurred to me to say anything bar thank you. It was delightful!

How can you say blanket that a vegan diet is not healthy for the planet?
I am not a vegan, but I have vegan friends and I do not eat meat around them. It’s easy. Honestly not difficult at all.

sorry but I couldn't eat any of that. i wouldn't care though, I love flatbread plain.
Good job you weren't invited then! 😆

Everyone managed to eat everything!

As can the op eat meat they just choose not to, same thing

It’s not the same thing at all.

so are you saying it’s not about the food being vegan but rather its too complex / high fibre?

That doesn’t appear to have been the nature of the ops relatives complaint though. If they had said “thanks for the invite but all the pulses etc are a bit difficult for us, could you perhaps do a simpler dish / could we bring a simpler dish?” I’m sure there wouldn’t have been an issue.

There's not much that I like that's vegan so I'd be very hungry.