AIBU to expect my parents to manage one vegan barbecue meal?

[veganbbqdrama]

Surely most people can survive if they have just one vegan meal ???!!!

My parents have decided they don’t think they can attend a bbq at my house due to the fact we are a vegan family and they are worried about ‘nutrition gaps’ !!!

Neither have any health conditions.

It’s one meal and we are offering a wide variety of things plus desserts. I said to then if they don’t fancy it that’s fine but they said it’s because they are worried about the food, and asked could they bring their own (no! ) or would I get them a few bits they can eat (non vegan) to which I said I can’t have it in the house.

Surely they could just come for a drink and eat later at home ? They are making such a fuss ?? It’s not like we are pushing veganism or the ethics behind our choice we weren’t planning on talking about it just having a nice family get together !

Suppose its a brilliant way of stopping unwanted family visits?

Bland.

Do vegans eat the occassional meat meal? No.

YABU. I wouldn’t attend a “vegan BBQ”. Ridiculous.

😀

So you’d not go to a family event because you don’t fancy the food? Sorry but that is ridiculous.

In fairness and I don't think vegan BBQ's are ridiculous but if the main draw of the family event is around food then it's not going to be very fun sitting around with a drink watching everyone else eat.

Not as main meals though. I'm not trying to be pedantic but they may well eat vegetable meals as side dishes with meat rather than main meals. I would have cereal and fruit with yogurt, milk in my tea and that would just leave nuts.

What's ridiculous is that the OP obviously grew up in a meat eating family and came to no harm---yet now she won't even allow a ham sandwich to sully her garden. I'll lay odds she ate one or two non-vegan ice creams when she lived at home too

To be fair I am sure the op could eat meat, I’ve never heard of anyone with a meat allergy so I assume it’s fairly rare. So I assume she just doesn’t want to.

You don't eat any vegetables/pulses/salad stuff at all? That must make life very difficult for you.

Veganism is classed as a philosophical belief and protected in workplaces and the like akin to a religion. Sociologically it is classed as a religion.

I am aware that a family BBQ does not qualify for such as mumsnet but it amazes me how many people think OP should just go agaisnt her beliefs and have something she fundamentally disagrees with in her house. They likely wouldn't if OP was stating it was for a different religious purpose.

Biscuits!! Hope they are not animal shaped!

No. It does sound bleak.

I’m certain they, and probably you, will frequently have vegan meals. Jacket potato and beans? Avocado on toast? Ratatouille. Tomato/minestrone/mushroom soup. Bubble and Squeak. Vegetable stew etc.

Do you eat meat at their house?
Then why should the eat vegan at yours?

They eat vegan food every day.

Stop calling it a vegan barbecue for a start. You are just having a barbecue with stuff everyone can eat. The "vegan" label gets people's hackles up for some reason.

Last one we went to had shredded mushrooms in barbecue sauce which tasted like pulled pork, and some beyond beef burgers for those who wanted a meat substitute.
Only problem I ever have is too many courgettes/onions/aubergines set off my IBS - and they seem to be staples at any bbq nowadays - so an alternative is always welcome.

Do you really want them to come that badly? Not sure i would , do they bring much to the party , they sound quite difficult. Can you agree but get some vegan burgers and sausages thst look like meat , chuck a couple of onion rings in there mustard , they’ll never know .

It sounds really nice
They're being ridiculous.

So essentially you don't understand what veganism is? And you're proud of this ignorance? Wow

It's not that they couldn't, and not that they are worried about malnutrition. It's just that they just don't want to. You probably wouldn't want to have a single meat-based meal, which is also fair. It might irritate them that they have to concede to your wishes when you don't concede to theirs. You clearly feel ok putting them under pressure or you wouldn't be posting here, presumably hoping that everyone will jump on your bandwagon. That sort of attitude can also be irritating. Live and let live.

Well I would have cheese on my jacket potato and beans, might also have an egg on top of avocado on toast, soup I would have cheese or mix through yogurt. I just wouldn't make the others.

Well I didn't know you have dyslexia obviously. I wouldn't have posted that if I had but there is no way I could have known.
But when you make arguments that are factually incorrect - and your post is just that, factually incorrect - it pisses people off.
As for allergies, you must know that for some people their 'allergies' are rather convenient. Not all of course.

Edited to say, vegan cheese can be really good. Not the stuff you buy in the supermarket although Waitrose does some pretty good stuff but the stuff you can buy online, from Abel and Cole for example, is really good.

So, you choose not to buy products that you know contain palm oil.

We can make a choice based on the ingredients on the pack. If the listed ingredients include palm oil, you can easily identify this and avoid. It doesn't identify all palm oil in a product (not all ingredients containing palm oil are clearly listed), but it's a good start.

I would expect that avoiding palm oil products is particularly important if you are vegan and care about animal welfare and environmental harm. Unless vegans consider some animals and environments are less worthy of their care and concern than others?