AIBU to expect my parents to manage one vegan barbecue meal?

[veganbbqdrama]

Surely most people can survive if they have just one vegan meal ???!!!

My parents have decided they don’t think they can attend a bbq at my house due to the fact we are a vegan family and they are worried about ‘nutrition gaps’ !!!

Neither have any health conditions.

It’s one meal and we are offering a wide variety of things plus desserts. I said to then if they don’t fancy it that’s fine but they said it’s because they are worried about the food, and asked could they bring their own (no! ) or would I get them a few bits they can eat (non vegan) to which I said I can’t have it in the house.

Surely they could just come for a drink and eat later at home ? They are making such a fuss ?? It’s not like we are pushing veganism or the ethics behind our choice we weren’t planning on talking about it just having a nice family get together !

That’s very controlling of your sister and BIL! And quite extreme I should say! Mind you I was once told by a vegan not to order the ribs because she couldn’t bear to look at them so I don’t know why I’m surprised!

As a meat eater ,I have to say if your parents dont come i will take their place this sounds lovely .

They offered to bring their own food and you said no? I don't understand that it seems unreasonable to me.

Do you bring your own food to their barbeques or do they cook you vegan food?

Not everyone likes vegan food. I've found it a great way of getting out of the office socials.

I did some fab bbq mushrooms last year (I know because people kept going on about them) but they were stuffed with cream cheese mixed with pesto and then some cheddar on top.

@veganbbqdrama are you doing anything with the mushrooms to make them interesting? Not vegan cheese - most people who aren’t vegan find it totally vile.

Sounds delicious!

Please start at the top and work your way through if you can otherwise your just making claims you can't back up

I agree. Totally pointless

They won’t though will they?

They’ll eat food that vegetarians eat, which will include dairy, which vegans don’t eat.

They won’t be eating the vegan fake meat alternatives every day either.

And when they do eat vegetables, they likely pair them with meat and don’t just eat them on their own.

How is it pointless? I don’t understand why everyone is obsessed with meat when it comes to barbecues.

They are overreacting and ridiculous. It's one meal ffs!!

So every day OP’s parents only have meat and dairy? I’m willing to bet that every single day they have one of vegetables, cereal, fruit, bread, coffee, tea, herbs, nuts etc.

Unfortunately I feel like this about lots of vegan food- but love good veggie food., but this often involves nice cheese, eggs, dairy etc someone giving me grilled vegetable skewers and plain mushrooms wouldn’t be my thing - I personally would stick to hummus, bread and tomatoes and rice salad , fruit and desert - I would however ‘come’ ’ and in good grace - not turning up is plain petty- but some older people do get really odd about meals and mealtimes and very fixed in their ways

You don’t like any food that isn’t meat or dairy?

At a very basic level, if you invite people round for a meal it's because you want to host them, treat them, spoilt them. You think about what they will need, where they will want to sit, their comforts, their drink, and what food they like.

You don't say, I know you won't like this, but I want you to come anyway and put up with it. That's a rude, inconsiderate, and quite controlling invite in my book.

If you can't offer guests what you know they would like, you can't make them feel comfortable in your home, then you need to just accept that you shouldn't invite them. Stop putting people in a difficult position.

UABU OP.

Same as 50% of all produce in any given supermarket, then?

Sounds delicious, crikey I have never heard of anyone who goes out for a meal and worries they’re not going to get their nutritional requirements fulfilled in that one meal! What about the rest of the day’s intake. They sound pompous and patronising, I’m sorry you have to deal with this.

It’s a really good point actually. Sometimes people want to host but they don’t want to, or can’t, HOST and it ultimately makes them an unsuitable venue. It’s like someone with the smallest house trying to insist on doing the big family Christmas.

I would have thought so given 'vegan food' is just food that doesn't contain any animal products. I've never been to a house where they didn't eat bread, potatoes, rice, fruit or veg, existing entirely on meat, fish, eggs and dairy, have you?

What does the OP do when she attends a BBQ with meat?

Allow your parents to bring their own meal.

🙄

Funny isn't it? Vegans expect others to eat vegan food yet omnivores always cater for all at family do's.Not really fair is it? If I was having a "do" I always ensure theres something for everyone otherwise why invite them?

And lots of people wouldn't like Op's menu without also being neanderthals who need meat at every meal. I can happily go without meat but I wouldn't enjoy this meal - for me it would have to be vegetarian. With some feta in the pasta salad, some halloumi on the skewers, or some boiled eggs and mayo in the potato salad I'd enjoy it.

Without that I wouldn't like it, and if the host said I wasn't allowed to bring some cheese to go with my veggies, I'd think "Why don't you want me to enjoy my meal?"

I like it just fine. I won't eat any meat that's religiously slaughtered and so when it comes to the office socials I say I'm vegan and they usually give me an out.

Beyond meat burgers. You can’t tell they are vegan, talking as a meat eater. We love them! Very high in fat though, just hide the wrapper. OP, I’ve spent my life jumping through hostess hoops. I don’t care anymore. If someone is being difficult then they either fit in or don’t come. Strangely, never had anyone say they won’t come.

My parents wouldnt cope with food you have suggested (very stuck in ways) qnd gave to eat at certain times. Just the way they are

Sounds disgusting. BBQs are about meat. Don't like them myself but can't see vegan stuff being BBQ food. May as well just have your guests lie on the grass chomping foliage.