AIBU to expect my parents to manage one vegan barbecue meal?

[veganbbqdrama]

Surely most people can survive if they have just one vegan meal ???!!!

My parents have decided they don’t think they can attend a bbq at my house due to the fact we are a vegan family and they are worried about ‘nutrition gaps’ !!!

Neither have any health conditions.

It’s one meal and we are offering a wide variety of things plus desserts. I said to then if they don’t fancy it that’s fine but they said it’s because they are worried about the food, and asked could they bring their own (no! ) or would I get them a few bits they can eat (non vegan) to which I said I can’t have it in the house.

Surely they could just come for a drink and eat later at home ? They are making such a fuss ?? It’s not like we are pushing veganism or the ethics behind our choice we weren’t planning on talking about it just having a nice family get together !

Ask them if they would ask to bring bacon to a Jewish or Muslim friend’s house? Veganism is closer to a religion than a diet. We used to be a vegan household. Long story short we are vegetarian now and my husband is still vegan and our family meals are vegan. But even now my family and his don’t bring meat or fish or anything like that into our house. And they even double check with eggs and dairy. There was never an issue with this x

It's exactly the same thing, deception and trying to get one over on a guest. Forcing your own views literally down their throats.

Why do so many people assume that vegan food = fake meat? Is it just ignorance?

I am not vegan but there are loads of vegan foods that I can very happily enjoy. And I can't stand fake meat!

No but im allergic to soya and nuts and certain pulses so basically everything that goes into vegan burgers except the vegetables

With the parents insistence on nutritional balance, I'm guessing the OP did not grow up in a vegan household. Can't see why they cant bring their own food which they will enjoy

Yanbu. Enjoy your BBQ sans your parents!

So it is not actually the case that you can't eat "vegan food" due to allergies. You just can't eat food which contains the foods that you are actually allergic to.

Because if I invited them toy home I would serve them vegan food I knew they liked. I would expect the same courtesy in return. Luckily my DC would never behave as OP is doing. 1 is vegetarian yet managed to provide meat for others as she says vegetarianism is he choice and not for everyone.

due to allergies I couldn’t eat any of that - what do you do if you have guests with food allergies? 🤷‍♀️most vegetables and fruit I can’t eat and entire food groups

@Nearly50omg

you certainly can eat veg at a bbq…have you not seen OP’s menu?

'Nutrition gaps' made me lol 😄

Gosh! I wasn't aware that so many people had allergies. I'm assuming these are actual allergies, and not a handy excuse for yet another MN vegan-bash?

Surely it’s no different to accommodating someone who has an allergy, is lactose intolerant or something?

they are guests, you cater for guests. That doesn’t mean you have to cook meat but you could get them some neatly nibbles or something

personal I find vegan food awful, but would accommodate someone who is vegetarian or vegan so I don’t see why vegetarians and vegans should not accommodate meat eating guests you are being rude not to

It's one meal. What sort of absolute snowflake can't eat vegan for one meal.

It's pathetic.

Well, oddly, the vegan society say yes. Despite the widescale deforestation and resultant harm on wildlife and the environment. I guess some animals (and the habitat they live in) are more worthy of protection than others in a vegan life?

So whilst I’m not a vegan (and I do enjoy a good meat BBQ), I don’t think that accommodating food restraints should go both ways. Obviously if a vegan does a meal for meat eaters, it shouldn’t contain meat as it’s probably disgusting to them. If meat eaters do a meal for vegans then obviously it shouldn’t contain meat either. I don’t think the parents should be expecting meat. Weird they can’t just come!! Are they very fussy eaters and a bit anxious about what they might have to eat? Removing sausages may leave them feeling vulnerable?!

I don't mind eating vegan food, but

1. This menu sucks, honestly
2. A barbecue is supposed to be grilled meats. There's really no point in firing up the grill for the sake of a few sad mushrooms and some boring vegetable skewers. Something most people only have as side dishes, not the main event

The salads also sound dull, and like there's s lot of bloating waiting to happen after this meal.

With that said, when you come to someone's house, you either eat what's being served or don't come. But, since it's your parents I think you sometimes could be lenient and let them bring something of their own.

They’re omnivores not obligate carnivores. Of course they can eat a meal without animal products in it.

Having said that, your meal does seem a bit heavy.

I believe OP has said she forbade them to do that.

I'd go just to see what a vegan barbecue is like . Seems a bit petty to not go because they don't fancy the food .

I'm a raging carnivore, but there are quite a few bits here I could eat and be perfectly happy for an afternoon.

Probably the sort that has raised a snowflake that cant tolerate someone eating meat in their garden for one meal 😀

Well that makes you an ability twat doesn't it

Do they do a vegan option for your family when you visit? Seems inflexible and petty not to make the effort of buying some meat options to suit your parents' tastes. Especially at a bbq! Why would you turn a sociable occasion into a statement about your food preferences? Many people would feel hurt if they try to accomodate your vegan diet at their events, only for you not to return the courtesy or at least let them bring their own bits to grill.

You can cook vegan sausages and burgers on there?!

Id defy anyone to blind test tell the difference between moving mountain burger and a regular beef burger