AIBU to expect my parents to manage one vegan barbecue meal?

[veganbbqdrama]

Surely most people can survive if they have just one vegan meal ???!!!

My parents have decided they don’t think they can attend a bbq at my house due to the fact we are a vegan family and they are worried about ‘nutrition gaps’ !!!

Neither have any health conditions.

It’s one meal and we are offering a wide variety of things plus desserts. I said to then if they don’t fancy it that’s fine but they said it’s because they are worried about the food, and asked could they bring their own (no! ) or would I get them a few bits they can eat (non vegan) to which I said I can’t have it in the house.

Surely they could just come for a drink and eat later at home ? They are making such a fuss ?? It’s not like we are pushing veganism or the ethics behind our choice we weren’t planning on talking about it just having a nice family get together !

Maybe they don't like vegan food. I don't like it.

@caringcarer

you don’t like vegetables?!

Same. To me that menu just sounds so unappetising. Really don’t want to be eating lentils and beans in a burger form. I would just ask them to come over later so that they can eat before and join in for deserts. All your options sounds like the same ingredients muddled around.

No because a non-vegan can and does eat the majority of a vegan diet (allergies aside) Sure some might not like the fake meats/cheeses etc (I'm vegan and most of the vegan cheeses are gross to me) or not like to eat them because of upfs (again valid), but whole foods, fruit, veggies, beans, pulses, grains etc are foods that everyone (should) eat. And sounds like that's mostly what OP is serving.

OP won't allow meat into her garden.

If you go to their house I expect you expect them to offer vegan food to you or allow you to bring something? Why is it any different the other way round then? This is why vegans get such a bd name!!

I've never been to a totally vegan BBQ or any other meal come to that. I'd be along in a heartbeat. I love veggie skewers and would be happy to give the rest a go too.

The OP's parents are probably better hosts and cater for their guests preferences.

How ridiculous. I read a post yesterday where someone was only serving burgers and frankfurters on the bbq - hardly the full nutritional balance either, but who cares?! It’s one meal! I can’t have gluten and often there isn’t much I can eat, but I don’t care as it’s more the social occasion. They sound extremely entitled.

OP can eat meat but chooses not to.

You don’t eat vegetables at a bbq! There will be that awful vegan fake meat there

Good god not that awful vegan fake meat 😱

They could say the same to you! Very silly of them not to try eating meat for a change! Why us this any different??

That's what good hosts do, cater for their guests.

Yes but should their needs be met? I, a meat/fish eater, would include their preferences, too.

Have you never had them for a meal before ?

Should a vegan meet the needs of a non-vegan?

But non-vegans eat "vegan" food all the time, don't you see how it's different? If you are not vegan, you eat all the foods. That means if a non-vegan goes to a vegan bbq, everything on offer comes under the heading of "food they eat", so there's actually no problem at all. Asking the host to supply additional food that doesn't qualify as vegan is like turning up to a curry night and saying yes I do eat curry, but can you get me a pizza. It's being a dick.

Hows that different to a vegan... what happens if they eat non vegan food, or do they just choose not to?

🤣 you don't think they would notice they burgers tasted of cardboard? It would break trust in the same way if her parents told her the burgers were vegan but really they were meat. Deception is never a good response.

You did well to read on after the "nock on effects"

I think vegans are allowed to enjoy the taste of grilled food too

I think OPs menu sounds delicious 😋

Vegan foods include ultra processed substances which even vegans won't touch with a bargepole, also pulses and beans which make me swell up. I think the issue here is that the OP won't allow anyone to bring a foodstuff they prefer. Vegans can tend to be quite extreme like this, unlike other people with dietary preferences.

No, why would anyone introduce to their home something they find abhorrent.

I can't be bothered to debate at length, but save to say, no.

I'll admit I was skeptical at first, but those burgers sound good! Have you a recipe?