AIBU to feel uncomfortable after builder helped himself to fridge drinks?

[Furrypaws18]

So we have builders in, everyday I give them pop, biscuits- on hot days lollies and a bacon butty on a Friday. They have toilet access/tea/coffee facilities readily available . I have purposely avoided access to my fridge so everything is out separately.
After thinking we were going through lots of drinks/snacks etc my husband decided to install a camera, to find the assistant looking through fridge and taking 2 cans for the journey home, so we think it’s been a habit. It felt like a violation. Problem is the job is otherwise going quite well, the gaffer is very respectful of the house and toilet etc but feel a bit like a soft touch now.
Boss 99% has no idea because it’s always been after he’s left. Don’t want to sour the job/their relationship etc but want him to know it wasn’t acceptable without a big showdown. Would also like to use them again, but the trust is tarnished. It’s only been drinks/food I think but still feels like a liberty. Am I being dramatic, have I given the impression it was ok? 🤔

Offer a glass or bottle of water

We don't do bottled water and he isn't hanging around for an extended chat as explained..plus tanking fluids is unhelpful

Okay but a lot of people don't do cans of pop etc so I think it's weird to say it's common decency to give them out to postman or builders.On a hot day i would have a water bottle to drink out of.

When the next invoice is due to be paid, create a pay less notice with an amount taken off for the drinks. Make it a substantial amount to make sure it’s grabs attention. Put a mark up on it. See how quickly they replenish your fridge.

So he almost certainly knows you saw him taking a couple of cans after a long, hard slog and didn't think anything of it because it doesn't matter.

Again, just let it go, unless you want some sort of drama.

The cooler is a good idea.

It most certainly does matter. Whether his day has been a long hard slog or not does not defend stealing and going to a person's fridge uninvited. It is hot, it has been hot for weeks so why not bring his own drink for his sad long hard slog?

OP has been more than generous with food and drink and this guy is just taking the piss.

My DH, who is a tradesman, was horrified to hear about a worker just opening a fridge and helping himself.

@OhFFS26 I'm not sure of that either. In that case why wait to be alone and then stuff them into pockets and never go near that area if I'm here. Anyway, you haven't read the post in full because they do have a cooler.

Both of us have manual jobs, there's no regard for leaving some cold drinks in the fridge for us at the end of the day, so we have to go back out and get more. In hot cars too wouldn't you know. "Buy extra then" I have bought extra and whilst it isn't primarily a money thing there is actually a limit to what I think is reasonable to provide.

Are you the OP with a name change fail?

Confused as you’re answering this Q to the OP in a way that suggests you’re them.

Mumsnet locks you into the username you first used on a specific thread, so even if OP had changed the username, she would not be able to participate under a new one in the same thread.

Thanks I momentarily forgot that Mumsnet has this feature now (yes I know it was introduced years & years ago but I’m a very long-time but intermittent user!)

Technically though, although not a namechange fail per se, it’s still possible for a user to be on a thread with two different names provided they have two different accounts…

I've no idea what you are referring to?

Anyway to answer the OP:

The builder was BU from taking things from the fridge without asking or having been explicitly told he could.

But @Furrypaws18 you are BU by being weirdly coy & fixated on the “pop” and you buying them expensive branded “pop” as opposed to you drinking non-branded.

As you did admit in one post, it’s Coke. Yes more expensive than say Tesco own brand but only a few quid for an 2l bottle (and so much better). Most people drink branded cola., you’re hardly providing them with the treat you’re implying you are.

You’re also BU for having installed a camera to check on them… and then back-tracking and saying it’s a camera you had up anyway.

And finally, you’re BU for not having spoken to the builder yet. Just deal with it.

This isn't particularly confusing – she's clearly still talking about the postie; this is the giveaway: 'he isn't hanging around for an extended chat as explained' (in reference to his job being measured and timed).

It seems to bother you quite a bit which drink this poster offers to her postie. Can you say why?

Yes if you look at the post history. I hadn’t. I hadn’t read the whole thread and didn’t realise there was a whole side conversation about someone else’s post man.

Not hanging round for an extended chat also applies to the OP’s builder.

Well now you know!

Yes 🙂

I think a lot of people are missing the point...it's a trust thing. What else are they poking their noses into when you're not there...
And at the end of the day......you do not have to provide anything for them! If they want multiple soft drinks all day, and a couple of cans for the trip home, then they can bring their own and stop taking advantage of you!
My husband worked in construction for years and would never have helped himself to anything! Occasionally customers would say " help yourself to tea and coffee" so he'd have a cuppa but it would never occur to him to help himself to the contents of the fridge.
People on here berating you because the weather is hot, and,oh they couldn't imagine getting worked up about a few cans need to give their heads a wobble. I'd be thoroughly pissed off if I'd just bought a few cans for the week and half of them disappeared!
It's theft- whether its cans of pop or a pile of money.
Add up how many they've had and take it off their final bill...I'm sure the boss will love that!

Wtf is an ethical soft drink? Mumsnet is bloody bonkers. On one thread people are crying poverty on high earners wages and then on this one some people have a never ending supply of food and drinks( so plenty money!) ready to go for any tradesman/postman/person that walks past the house in a heatwave 😂

I'm sure this poster would agree it's common decency to offer any kind of drink. She just happens to want to/be able to give out canned drinks. Is that a problem?

It doesn't bother me. I just think it is weird to say that it is "common decency " to offer cans of pop etc as if these are necessary for survival and everyone has them available.

My suggestion was “if she didn’t want to say anything” and it would only be while they are there/leaving.

Man, just as I’m forgetting how wild I am

Is it possible that there's a range of people on MN in a range of financial circumstances?
And who said 'never ending supply of food and drinks'? The poster who gives her postie cans is likely doing that specifically in very hot weather, not all the time.
I've asked this of another poster and not had a response, so I'm still curious: why is the idea of an ethical soft drink so anger-provoking/baffling to some people?

I just think it is weird to say that it is "common decency " to offer cans of pop etc as if these are necessary for survival and everyone has them available
Shall I say it again?
I'm betting this poster would agree it's common decency to offer any kind of drink. She just happens to want to/be able to give out certain canned drinks, rather than water.

You are the one sounding angry😂