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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to feel uncomfortable after builder helped himself to fridge drinks?

283 replies

Furrypaws18 · 12/08/2026 16:38

So we have builders in, everyday I give them pop, biscuits- on hot days lollies and a bacon butty on a Friday. They have toilet access/tea/coffee facilities readily available . I have purposely avoided access to my fridge so everything is out separately.
After thinking we were going through lots of drinks/snacks etc my husband decided to install a camera, to find the assistant looking through fridge and taking 2 cans for the journey home, so we think it’s been a habit. It felt like a violation. Problem is the job is otherwise going quite well, the gaffer is very respectful of the house and toilet etc but feel a bit like a soft touch now.
Boss 99% has no idea because it’s always been after he’s left. Don’t want to sour the job/their relationship etc but want him to know it wasn’t acceptable without a big showdown. Would also like to use them again, but the trust is tarnished. It’s only been drinks/food I think but still feels like a liberty. Am I being dramatic, have I given the impression it was ok? 🤔

OP posts:
LoafofSellotape · Yesterday 08:56

OlderGlaswegianLivingInDevon · 12/08/2026 20:03

I am surprised you are giving grown adults ice lollies.
cold drinks tea and coffee yes, bacon sandwich on Fridays is excessive but ice lollies ?

Why not? Ice lollies are lovely on a hot day when you're working hard.

Ilovelurchers · Yesterday 09:01

Lifeishard2 · Yesterday 01:49

We've had lots of work done on our house and I've always provided tea, coffee, cold drinks, biscuits and I bake cakes for them every few days and once a week I make them bacon/sausage & egg sandwiches.

What I've found from this is that it depends on the people you have in.

A lot of people see niceness as weakness and will take advantage.

We had a few like that, but we also had some that were really appreciative.

We had one of the appreciative ones back for some other work, maybe four years later, and he was still talking about the lemon drizzle cake I'd made for him previously. 😂

@Furrypaws18 YANBU, though. I would not appreciate them helping themselves to the family fridge, especially as you've already provided them with a cooler full of cold drinks every day, plus all the other bits.

I think a lot of ppl are missing the fact that you are already providing multiple 2l bottles of branded soft drinks for them every day, which is kept in a big cooler filled with ice and the drinks, and which they can help themselves to, as well as tea, coffee and bacon sandwiches

You have no issues with this, but rightly aren't comfortable with this guy going into your personal fridge in an area of the house he doesn't need to be in in order to help himself to several cans of pop, plus other things for his journey home.

I do the same in that I set up a little table area with a small fridge, mugs, glasses, plates, spoons, kettle, tea, coffee, milk, squash, water, biscuits, and homemade cake, etc, and let them know that they can help themselves to these, but I'd take a dim view of someone then going into my kitchen to help themselves from my family fridge.

I have never heard of this - a home made cake station for people working in your home - I consider myself quite a decent person who looks after anyone who works here, and I wouldn't even think of providing an endless supply of homemade cakes ... Or even shop bought!

It is generous - but generosity to fellow humans isn't only shown in giving them expensive branded drinks, home made goods etc. It can be more importantly shown in respecting them, giving them the benefit of the doubt (believing it could have been an honest mistake), and respecting others' privacy (not filming them without their knowledge).

If do find it staggering that anyone thinks it's OK to do that. I can think of little more violating. One of my jobs includes working in someone's home, and if I found out they were filming me I would immediately quit, and warn other potential employees about it. (No matter how many expensive bottled waters or snacks they gave me - I'd rather just have the privacy and respect!)

(Luckily I can't imagine the family would ever do this, they are lovely).

Constantinoodle · Yesterday 09:01

Furrypaws18 · 12/08/2026 17:33

Thank you all for your input, it's really helpful. Just a couple of things- outside drinks are chilled in large iced bucket. I have bought in loads of pop for them, gone through about 20+ 2 litre bottles easy, and not cheap ones. So yes the extra cans felt just too much. Wasn't whilst working, it was for the ride home.

As far as the camera goes, over time lots of supplies seemed lower than expected but we'll never really know. I just trusted them.

Totally hear everyone on the issue about getting decent people in, isn't it sad that we have to suck up this kind of thing though. It's not like we're not paying a good rate.

But thanks all - I think my husband will have quiet word - "please don't take things from our fridge, it's not ok" if that doesn't work will tell the boss as I like him and don't want him to lose work in future over this kind of thing.

Why are you doing all this? Why are you feeding them? My work doesn’t feed me.

Advocodo · Yesterday 09:04

I would let it go especially If the builders are doing a good job. How much longer will they be working?

lazysusannah · Yesterday 09:10

My experience is that workmen are happy with a mug of tea and if they are lucky, some biscuits.

Buying pop (disgusting sugary stuff anyway) isn't really necessary- water from the tap is fine.

PangolinFriend · Yesterday 09:12

It's a violation. If they need extra because of hot weather, they should ask. Put a sign on the fridge saying this is NOT for their use and they should ask you if they require anything extra. Hopefully, that will stop the problem without escalation. My trusted contractors bring their own lunches and their own flasks and usually refuse when we offer them tea/coffee/biscuits. And that's all we offer normally - although in this weather would also offer endless water (not pop) and lollies.

weavingrugs · Yesterday 09:21

@Furrypaws18
Where I live, hot Mediterranean country, people don’t provide tradespeople with food or drinks generally.
When we had work done in the summer they drank water either from the kitchen tap or from the hosepipe or tap in the garden.
They stopped for lunch, went to eat a proper meal in a restaurant, and then came back to work.
Why would you think that they are somehow incapable of sourcing enough food and drink for themselves?
They are doing a job, not a bunch of mates giving a hand to do diy at the weekend!

Furrypaws18 · Yesterday 09:26

@jessbell thank you for your comment. Yes this 100% took us years to save up for and I also budgeted for snacks 😂. I'll probably get abuse for this - like I'm looking for a sympathy vote, but for context my dad passed away this spring (retired builder). He knew we were getting work - told us to treat them right but keep an eye out (probably why I've tried too hard) but was also very worried we would get ripped off. Thankfully that hasn't happened - this issue I know is relatively small fry, I know this. However, I would have loved to have this job finish up feeling I could have full trust in these people in my home and at the start I absolutely, perhaps naively did. It's so personal to let people have full access when you're not there. Boss man 100% no doubt trusted and I get on well with him, he's a decent guy - doesn't deserve his reputation being tarnished.

For people saying I'm overreacting, well I haven't reacted - I've come here for advice, which I have had and am grateful for constructive comments. It's easy to get in your own head sometimes. I have learned a lot and will not try so hard next time and will set clear boundaries about what is and what is not ok. So all in all it has been worthwhile to listen to and share opinions. Thank you MN

OP posts:
mydogisthebest · Yesterday 09:34

Clarefromwork · Yesterday 08:26

If you don’t want to say anything, just don’t leave any cans etc in the fridge

So now OP can't use her fridge as she wishes to but has to think about the builders just going to her fridge without her permission and stealing from it!!!

Posters on here get weirder by the day

Neuronimo · Yesterday 09:42

That is cheeky, but I'd probably let it go if it is just drinks. The cool box is a good idea.

Northernlassie123 · Yesterday 09:54

If it was just a couple pf cans of pop I’d put up with it for a good building job. That’s worth gold . It’s a bit annoying but alot less than falling out with a good builder

Furrypaws18 · Yesterday 09:55

@Ilovelurchers I'm not sorry about this - they are aware we have cameras due to numerous break ins in the area. We have also had our cars targeted - we have an indoor camera for when we are away - we moved this to an area they needn't visit after thinking something wasn't quite right. It only triggers if someone was in an area they shouldn't be. Not being 'watched' all day whatsoever. If you don't go somewhere you shouldn't be why would you be bothered.

OP posts:
SweatySpider321 · Yesterday 10:13

weavingrugs · Yesterday 09:21

@Furrypaws18
Where I live, hot Mediterranean country, people don’t provide tradespeople with food or drinks generally.
When we had work done in the summer they drank water either from the kitchen tap or from the hosepipe or tap in the garden.
They stopped for lunch, went to eat a proper meal in a restaurant, and then came back to work.
Why would you think that they are somehow incapable of sourcing enough food and drink for themselves?
They are doing a job, not a bunch of mates giving a hand to do diy at the weekend!

This. They are being paid
Builder sounds like a cheeky entitled prick

GreenEyesMillennial · Yesterday 10:21

Sparklyshopassistant · 12/08/2026 16:41

I’d put a note in the fridge saying something like “hey we have seen you taking extra cans, the ones in the side are for you but please not these ones. We wont tell your boss thanks.”

Seriously?? Or maybe they should just talk to them about it surely. A note on the fridge seems ridiculous. They are grown up adults, have the conversation.

TheJoySpreader · Yesterday 10:40

I do think it's cheeky to take stuff from the fridge, personally I would let it go due to the shortage of trades in case they didn't come back, but agree it's a bit rude.

At the same time, I also find the idea of indoor cameras a bit weird and not sure if that's ok especially if people are working.

cupfinalchaos · Yesterday 10:48

No way I’d be bothered to cater for builders apart from tea and biscuits. Why can’t they bring a sandwich you’re not a restaurant? Helping themselves from your fridge is just taking the piss coz they can.

Whowhatwhere21 · Yesterday 10:50

I'd get a next day delivery sticker off amazon 'smile you're on cctv' and wack it on the fridge. Or place the camera somewhere obvious so they see it. Would be interesting to see if they turn around and walk away once they realise you can see, or would they carry on because they genuinely think its ok to help themselves? If they walked away that would be enough for me to confirm they know they are doing wrong

LongDarkTeatime · Yesterday 10:51

Could you nicely set boundaries when they’re all together
“We’re happy to provide refreshments, but having stocks taken from the fridge without warning has caused issues. If you need something extra please could you let us know.”

Wishihadanalgorithm · Yesterday 10:54

I have always looked after trades people when they come to work in my home. It’s what you do.

I would have a cool box made up with what you’re happy for the builders to have and tell them that’s all you are providing. Nothing from the fridge. Say it in front of the boss too.

It is so hot at the moment, I would forgive a can of pop.

TrishM80 · Yesterday 11:35

Absolutely ridiculous the amount of free stuff you're giving these guys, no wonder they think they can raid your fridge as and when they please!

Ice buckets with fizzy drinks, ice pops, bacon sandwiches?? What are you, a catering company?!

Builders need to do their job and bring their own fucking food and drink like everyone else!

mumumental · Yesterday 11:44

I usually offer tea and coffee but to be honest it’s ok not to, given that a plumber charges £400 a day minimum. They can afford drinks!

Louandsi · Yesterday 11:58

Maybe go with. 'I saw apprentice take a couple of drinks out the fridge yesterday, no problem, but so we dont run short can you let me know what he likes and I can buy a few extras for him'

welshgirl2025 · Yesterday 12:02

SulkySeagull · 12/08/2026 17:22

I’m sorry but wtf - bacon sandwiches and ice lollies?! Madness. They are earning a crust like everyone else and although the odd cuppa and biscuit is polite, serving them up snacks and drinks constantly makes you seem like a mug. Most tradies will rip you off and let you down and you’ve served them like guests!

really? I have always done this for any tradesperson who comes to my home. I live alone and find it really stressful having people to do work but I thought it was the polite thing to do. Should I not do it in the future?

onmylastnerveseriously · Yesterday 12:09

The camera cost way more than a few cans of pop 😂

Let it go, life is short

weavingrugs · Yesterday 12:14

Wishihadanalgorithm · Yesterday 10:54

I have always looked after trades people when they come to work in my home. It’s what you do.

I would have a cool box made up with what you’re happy for the builders to have and tell them that’s all you are providing. Nothing from the fridge. Say it in front of the boss too.

It is so hot at the moment, I would forgive a can of pop.

Why do you “ look after them” though?
Obviously everyone can do as they please, and I understand that culturally it might be the “done thing”, but why single out tradespeople.
Why are they seen as in need of refreshments and somehow incapable of procuring them like everyone else?

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