AIBU to feel uncomfortable after builder helped himself to fridge drinks?

[Furrypaws18]

So we have builders in, everyday I give them pop, biscuits- on hot days lollies and a bacon butty on a Friday. They have toilet access/tea/coffee facilities readily available . I have purposely avoided access to my fridge so everything is out separately.
After thinking we were going through lots of drinks/snacks etc my husband decided to install a camera, to find the assistant looking through fridge and taking 2 cans for the journey home, so we think it’s been a habit. It felt like a violation. Problem is the job is otherwise going quite well, the gaffer is very respectful of the house and toilet etc but feel a bit like a soft touch now.
Boss 99% has no idea because it’s always been after he’s left. Don’t want to sour the job/their relationship etc but want him to know it wasn’t acceptable without a big showdown. Would also like to use them again, but the trust is tarnished. It’s only been drinks/food I think but still feels like a liberty. Am I being dramatic, have I given the impression it was ok? 🤔

He's a cheeky so-and-so. You're giving them plenty of cold drinks (I think some people on here genuinely have comprehension problems).
I'd say something politely to the gaffer and let him decide how to approach the guy.

Or we have been very generous already
providing pop, tea and coffee plus snacks.
If you need anything extra buy or bring your own! Please stay out of our fridge!

You've been generous enough already. It's really cheeky of him.going into the fridge and helping himself. He's an adult, surely he can bring his own drinks.

I think it's a lovely thing to provide hospitality for those working in your home OP! I would either leave out a coolbox with a note, or say to the foreman something like "I noticed a few drinks were taken out of the fridge so I've added a few extra for the week to the coolbox. I hope that works for your team, it's all I've budgeted for in this week's grocery bill". Then if any further get taken out of the fridge a firmer word "if we could please stick to the coolbox instead of the fridge I'd appreciate it. Let me know if you'd like a different type of soda." To soften it. Good tradies are hard to find and you don't want to piss off the people working in your home either.

@onmylastnerveseriously how is it you think it’s about the cost of the cans, if it were I wouldn’t be providing drinks each day. It’s the boundary. Clearly doing this only when alone. Why not ‘ask’ if what’s provided isn’t enough. Their stuff has always been separate and close to where they working.

He has access to entire house and garage. The food/drinks were easily noticed by us, will we find missing items from the house down the line? Just don’t know. This is my thing -Trust.

I'm not meaning to target you and imply you are deliberately doing something malicious - you seen like a kind person - but it does distress me how comfortable most people seem to have become recently with the idea of filming people without their knowledge. I am apparently in a minority on this, as the majority of respondents on this thread clearly feel you were absolutely entitled to do this - but to me it feels like a violation that strongly outweighs the violation of taking drinks from your fridge.

When we believe we are free from observation, there are all kinds of innocent things we might do that while shame us if another person witnessed it. What if the builder was uncomfortable and needed to adjust his boxers? Or he is in love with one of his co-workers and they grabbed a quick peck on the lips. Or he practiced his dance moves for later while crossing the kitchen. Or thousands of other examples.....

I think we should respect each others privacy and dignity by keeping fingers to a minimum, and alerting people whenever we do it so that they can behave accordingly.

And there is a risk that your builders may feel the same. For that reason I would honestly proceed with caution, if I were you......

(This is if they didn't know you were filming - I am not entirely sure from your answer. If they did know, obviously that's fine).

I don't do anything dodgy or underhand in my workplace, but I would be pretty outraged (and I am not one to use words like that lightly) if my employers filmed me without warning me. I could be alone in feeling like this, or in a strong minority, but I am just telling you honestly how I would feel - I am not trying to get at you.

Sorry, there is a typo and it won't let me edit. We should keep filming to a minimum, not fingers.

Though those too!

If someone lends me £5 I wont assume I can help themselves to their wallet every time.

It doesnt matter what class/profession anyone is from- if someone takes things without your permission, it's theft.

It's not a matter of forgiving a can of pop but the fact that he goes to the fridge when he has not been told it is ok to do so and helps himself. I find this very rude and, quite honestly, disrespectful. I would never ever do that in someone's house even close family except my parents.

One sandwich on a Friday?

@Furrypaws18 I'd get this nipped in the bud today. Very casually say to the main guy, "Will you please tell your guys to only take the drinks I supply out in the X area, and to stop taking them from our own fridge?"

If he queries it, just say that you've noticed since the job started that your own drinks etc. have been disappearing, leaving your family short and you've since discovered that X is taking some daily for the journey home. Reassure him you're very happy with their work but the extra drinks from your own family fridge are mounting up.

I'd also stop buying them branded stuff, they can have own brand - it sounds like you are trying too hard, and they've then abused your hospitality.

@Ilovelurchers fingers 😂 you are obviously totally entitled to that opinion. For me I would never have felt the need except for suspicion of repeated theft basically. I also didn’t want to blame the wrong person or bring it up without being 100% sure. I mean there’s a slim chance one of us was sleeping walking/eating/drinking 😂 I don’t see it as much different to when people use nanny cams and the like, only with this one, it would never trigger without someone being in the place they needn’t be. No I didn’t say to them there’s a camera to see who’s pilfering, but it’s not hidden either and they know and laugh about the cameras elsewhere. They certainly don’t care where they ‘adjust’, as in right in front of me 😂 but I get you. If it wasn’t my home ok, I think business premises is entirely different. Inside a customer’s home I think I would behave as if watched all the time, I don’t think I should feel comfortable enough to make out with a colleague in a customers home-but again you are 100% entitled to disagree. I love a discussion and definitely a respectful back and forth such as this 😊

I guess that particular discussion would be “were you filming me?”me:- “yes only whilst you were stealing” no one else came up on this camera except the guy doing it.

Yanbu I'd be saying something. That you've noticed they've been taking from the fridge and they are not to do that going forward. If they do it again report to their boss.

I'd have absolutely no qualms setting one of these up. I've used similar at a sports facility where someone was stealing my stuff from my storage area.

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Helping yourself to drinks in the fridge is definantly crossing a boundary, and even worse, he was taking it for his journey home! If he wanted a drink, all he had to do was ask, but it sounded like you were pretty generous anyway, plus he should have brought his own supplies. I’d be cross as well.

We had workman recently. I gave them tea, coffee, squash, water, biscuits, lollies (on very hot days), and pizza one evening when they were working extra late.

You supply your postman with cold drinks? This place is bonkers. Why the hell do people not think that everyone is responsible for supplying their own drinks and food throughout the day? I've never had food and drink provided for me while working.

Gosh, how does he access his personal supply? I mean if my postman knocked on my door and said could I have a cold drink, of course I’d get him one, but I’d not position it I’d a supply of cold drinks foe the post man,

does he know, does he pick what you keep in stock for him? I’m so bemused by someone being so grateful to the postman for doing the job he’s paid for rhey keep a personal supply of drinks for him/

Were your doors fitted the right way up? 🤣 20 beers down and they might have been attached to the windows 😄

I see the postman most days parcels and post ...we have had 5 heatwaves so far this year he is walking with a trolley in 35 degree heat...I say "drink?" I hand him a can of pop..an ethical one that quenches thirst..fruit juice, sparkly water..I'm grateful I don't have to do such a difficult job in high heat.

Loads of folk have items out for couriers etc..they are poorly paid and managed not to take breaks.
It costs me very little, common decency and gratitude wins

Could you kind of play it ignorant and just say “not sure if I said- but if you’d like anything more to drink or eat please just ask, especially when it’s hot. I know I might not need to say but we previously had a cleaner/gardner who helped themselves from our fridge so we would always want to know if you needed more”? Then they’d feel ashamed at how kind you were and guilty!!!

even worse, he was taking it for his journey home!
Yes, there's something particularly cheeky about this. It's more forgiveable (a tiny bit more anyway) if he's thirsty while he's working on your house and helps himself, but a Coke just because he fancies one on his way home – the guy can get one from a corner shop or a drive-thru if he's so desperate!

She’s right. Personal attacks when you don’t have an actual answer to her correct comment. Yay.

Water quenches thirst too. Why does "common decency" have to involve giving a can of "ethical" pop?

Would I ask him to cup his hands? How would he push the trolley? We aren't having a long catch up...you realise the posties work is timed and measured??

What an odd reply...it's a portable drink