AIBU to feel uncomfortable after builder helped himself to fridge drinks?

[Furrypaws18]

So we have builders in, everyday I give them pop, biscuits- on hot days lollies and a bacon butty on a Friday. They have toilet access/tea/coffee facilities readily available . I have purposely avoided access to my fridge so everything is out separately.
After thinking we were going through lots of drinks/snacks etc my husband decided to install a camera, to find the assistant looking through fridge and taking 2 cans for the journey home, so we think it’s been a habit. It felt like a violation. Problem is the job is otherwise going quite well, the gaffer is very respectful of the house and toilet etc but feel a bit like a soft touch now.
Boss 99% has no idea because it’s always been after he’s left. Don’t want to sour the job/their relationship etc but want him to know it wasn’t acceptable without a big showdown. Would also like to use them again, but the trust is tarnished. It’s only been drinks/food I think but still feels like a liberty. Am I being dramatic, have I given the impression it was ok? 🤔

In this weather I'd have extra cold drinks for them & tell them to help themselves.

Not in my house. I’m busy! How ridiculous. They can feed themselves ffs.

I tend to clear my schedule when I have builders in (its very rare anyway) . they dont expect it but they always appreciate it so i dont mind really.

So true. I was planning to eat it for dinner - and when it was not there i was deeply unimpressed! I looked for ages thinking it must be me going mad or i must have thrown it out. My DH still talks about a time i let my sibling eat his leftover pizza many years ago and his hungover disappointment 😂

clear the fridge of any extras. And pop a sign up saying. There is water in the tap & a camera or two are recording. If you say 2 that leaves them guessing.

Exactly. Well said.

You are 100% correct.

But it’s your fear of a man responding with embarrassment and anger that is your issue in not dealing with it.

It needs dealing with calmly and simply.

A note on fridge door.
A word directly with guy.
A word directly with builder.

I would do number 3 - the boss needs to know that his business rep is being tarnished and he needs to give direction / rein in his employee.

Doesnt have to be a show down. Simple amd direct - do it as personal growth dor yourself

"Well said"!!! So okay that they are helping themselves going to someone else's fridge? Also she has set up a cooler for them.

Shame people don't read the thread properly

Completely empty the fridge

I don’t begrudge giving builders / painters and decorators/ tradespeople drinks .
Also anyone working in our garden landscaping etc I provide hot and cold drinks , biscuits etc .
When it was particularly hot I have given ice lollies too.
However that’s really cheeky going into your fridge in your kitchen and helping themselves to other drinks and snacks .
I think I’d say something such as you’ve noticed your fridge supplies dwindling and you’d needed those things yourself

Oh, I would be mad at that, extremely angry. What else have they potentially rooted through?!

Did you pull them up about it?

‘Looking through the fridge and taking two cans of pop’

It’s been insanely hot…..not a big deal imo

But OP had given them lots of drink (far more than most people would) and the guy was taking the drink at the end of the day!

Would you really be happy for someone who you didn't really know just going to your fridge and helping themselves? I know I wouldn't. It's rude and disrespectful

As I said - imo

So you would be ok with a person you barely know going to your fridge without being told they can and taking something from it? Pretty unusual I would say

Blimey OP you’re being very generous with lollies and bacon butties! We have tradies in at the moment and now I’m feeling a bit tight only offering coffee /squash every couple of hours 😅

I think the fact you’ve been so generous with pop anyway might suggest they’re welcome to another can if they run out of what you’ve put out, as you’ve set a precedent. I think it could be a misunderstanding. I would just not restock the fridge for a while and mention that the only drinks available are those set aside etc.

you actually intended to be condescending and rude?
I might be paraphrasing slightly, but a gentleman is never rude unintentionally.

Obviously sometimes asking a question is a valid part of a discussion, but I think it's performative when people get indignant and all 'what on earth is one of those?' just because someone has mentioned something they find posh/aspirational/common/cheap/whatever their problem with it is.

Ah good old Hitchins, but let's be honest, the descriptor 'gentleman' doesn't quite apply to you ...

You're entitled to think someone else is being performative, but that doesn't mean they're wrong that the poster they were referring to was being performative. 'Indignant' is an especially emotive reading of how the poster came across, they were bemused and calling out bullshit, not indignant.

Well if they’d been there a while, then sure, not going to get hung up and install cameras over a couple of cans of pop …..

Taking 2 cans for the journey home is a liberty! Slightly different if it was to have while they are hard at work during their working day, but still inappropriate if you have left stuff out! They can easily stop at a shop/garage on the way home to get a post-work refreshment!

Perfect response 👌🏻

YANBU but given the low value of the drinks, and the fact that they’re otherwise doing a great job, I’d let it go. How long is the project likely to last? I’d be inclined to stop buying cans for the fridge until they’ve finished, which would solve your issue without needing to confront them.

Totally rude behaviour! It's a violation!
You are not being unreasonable.
If you showed them the fridge and gave permission to help themselves, that's one thing. We know you didn't give that permission.
If they are just opening up your fridge and taking whatever they want, what else are they helping themselves to? Plain and simple, it's theft. Have a word with the boss. It's your house.
Cheek of it!!

I am late to this but just wanted to say that I have experience of renovating etc and I think your father was completely right. He will have worked with a large cross section.

The boss probably hugely appreciates your efforts, if he knows nothing about it. You could put a large sign on your fridge across where it opens saying "THIS FRIDGE IS PRIVATE AND FOR FAMILY USE ONLY!" and hopefully assistant will get the hint and stop.

If not you could consider talking to the main boss to let them know and see how he reacts.

Or this sounds good too!