Boring eater

[Curious77]

Am I unreasonable to hate that my partner is a boring and bland eater? It really pisses me off that a man in his 50s ( met 6yrs ago) avoids any foods he is not familiar with!
he watches all my food programmes with me and oohs and aahs at the food, but in reality, he would unlikely try any of it.
i find it incredibly frustrating, and to coin a phrase I hate but seems perfectly apt… it gives me the ick!
he thinks houmous is hippie food, and pate is posh!
why do I want to shake him? Is it me? Am I a snob?

Some people feel jealous or annoyed when others are not bothered by food. People with strict diets or food guilt often feel envy.

I would definitely take the pill option!

Having a disorder or disability isn't shameful.

My husband is like that. No interest at all. He says if food could come in pill form that would be brilliant. He just does not care about it.
When hes not hungry its like food doesnt exist. Then he gets hungry and grabs whatever is closest.

He once got what he thought was a can of peach slices from the cupboard, opened it, discovered it was actually carrots and just ate them straight from the tin and went about his day.

I love my food. Love things to taste nice. If he wants to eat an accidental tin of carrots it doesnt bother me at all. Food is just food imo.

This would really put me off. I like cooking with DH, eating together, trying new foods especially in different countries.

Yet you're that one suggesting people with them are abnormal...

The D in Arfid even stands for disorder. That’s not having a go at people who suffer from it, just stating a fact. It’s interesting that people who enjoy food and like their companions to enjoy food are framed as being jealous of those who don’t enjoy it. I could have choked to death once, it was a very scary experience so I can understand how a fear of food can develop, even now year’s later I try to chew very mindfully, and my own mother had food issues, so I have empathy for Arfid sufferers but jealousy, no.

I have things about me that are medically abnormal and have needed treatment. I'm not ashamed of it.

Although I wouldn’t choose it, I think it would be a very good thing if such a thing existed, to at least give people the choice without compromising their physical or mental health.

He seems more casual than picky so would he happily eat Asian or Mexican if you were out and that’s what you wanted?

I'm not ashamed. But if my friends referred to me as someone who wasn't normal I'd be pissed off. That was the point I was making.

Everyone has something about them that is different. That's okay and people don't deserve to be shamed by people like you.

I agree!

It surely will happen sooner or later.

Because in that one regard you aren't normal. We can show understanding and sympathy for these things without pretending that they are normal.

Its just not practical in terms of timings and oven space.
And these were not quick simple recipes . They were designed for at least 2

FWIW I don't think people are jealous. Why would they be?

I do object to people referring to people like me as 'abnormal' or assuming I'm lesser of a person because I don't share their tastes in food.
It's such a minor part of who I am and it's bizarre to me that people will make such sweeping assumptions about me based on that small fact.

That’s not the same as people who enjoy their food and, say, want to try the new Korean restaurant that’s just opened and their partner refuses to even try it. If I was on a restricted diet I’d envy those who aren’t or those who don’t care too. After all the person on the restricted diet feels envy because they are struggling with the food deprivation.

You've shown neither though. Like I said, define 'normal'? There is a huge difference between describing behaviour and describing a person.

I wouldn't refer to my autistic nephew as 'abnormal' so apply the same respect to other disorders.

Yeah. He wouldn't give a shit what it was but he'd eat it because he was hungry not because it was an experience.
My son would go into any place and love the experience but he'd just want chips, bread or maybe a burger if its got no bits in. He loves to visit new places. Hates trying new foods. For him, the fun of something is the location, atmosphere and whether theres a museum nearby.

I drink wine but wouldn't do a wine tasting tour. Its sort of the same thing. Give me a glass, dont talk to me about fragrances and notes and whatever else they go on about. Just keep me topped up.

Different strokes for different folks.
I just dont think its ok to write off an entire person and judge them as unworthy or dull based on nothing more than what food they like.

You would no longer need a kitchen in your home (just access to a drinking water tap) if you had the pill option!

It sounds like you mean he only eats English cuisine?

In this context I'd define normal as being able to go to a variety of food settings and find something to be able to eat. It's not a moral or value judgement.

Might be hard to sell on though if it was a bought property. A kitchen is still handy for when friends or family are around and they chose the food option. I’m in the food lovers camp but due to some medication recently, I went through a phase where food was a real turn off for me, I just couldn’t face it even though I felt vaguely hungry. I could just about stomach some very bland simple carbs. I seem to be coming out the other side now and getting back to my normal appetite, but it certainly gave me an insight to what it might be like to find all food unappealing.

Which I can... just not to your liking apparently. But it's okay. We would not be firends IRL

Having an eating disorder or a preference around food does not make someone dull, or unintelligent.

I agree @MickyMoonshine
I rather think the OP was really talking about people who choose to be unadventurous rather than people who have an eating disorder.

I can't pretend to understand about ARFID as I really love lots of different foods and can't imagine how hard it must be to like very, very few things.

Are there no foods at all that you really enjoy? Do you take supplements? What help is available for people with this?