Boring eater

[Curious77]

Am I unreasonable to hate that my partner is a boring and bland eater? It really pisses me off that a man in his 50s ( met 6yrs ago) avoids any foods he is not familiar with!
he watches all my food programmes with me and oohs and aahs at the food, but in reality, he would unlikely try any of it.
i find it incredibly frustrating, and to coin a phrase I hate but seems perfectly apt… it gives me the ick!
he thinks houmous is hippie food, and pate is posh!
why do I want to shake him? Is it me? Am I a snob?

Its very normal to prefer to be friends with people that enjoy doing similar things to you.

But you know that's bullshit yeah? I have zero interest in food but I live a very exciting life and I'm always up for new experiences and opportunties. How I fuel my body is irrelevant.

What exciting new experiences have you had this year? Let's compare notes to test your theory!

Yeah, but that doesn't mean eating the same things all of the time.
Unless all you do is eat all day everyday I don't see how you can't have something in common with someone who likes different food to you?

Because when you’re the one who makes dinner you either only eat what they eat or have to make extra meals and dishes. Either boring food or extra work.

Yeah this is on my no no list. I can’t deal with picky eaters. I mean picky because picky not because of real issues.

its such a turn off.

BUT I can’t really do deep fried foods or very fatty foods anymore. Body likes to perform an exorcism on itself so i try to spare anyone the joy of me releasing those demons.

other than that im easy going and prefer to date men who are just as chill and willing to try new foods without much fuss.

id throw this one back. His lady is out there with an equally bland palette and you can free yourself up for adventure.

Because I don't owe anyone companionship. There are enough nice normal people out there that will eat different cuisines for me to be socially satisfied.

People who love food can sometimes feel defensive or threatened by someone who is indifferent to it,

You're right you don't owe anyone companionship. And vice versa.

If people eating the same food as you is important then that is completely your choice. I just wated to challenge some of your assumptions which seem to paint those with a restricted diet as being the problem as opposed to it being simply a compatibility issue.

100% agree. They assume it's a personality flaw as opposed to someone who has different interests.

Yes but it’s also sensory (hence why Arfid exists). It can be a negative sensory experience or a positive one. If food was turned into a pill (like they thought it would as a futuristic concept) and you could choose which option you wanted there would be people who want that and people who want actual food, even though they’re ultimately doing the same job. Same with sex, its function is to procreate but people still do it without wanting to procreate. Food and sex have been intertwined for a very long time because of the sensory experience.

The same food is a bit of a strawman. Restaurants obviously serve different dishes. I just wouldn't want to invest too much of my social energy on someone that would be too restrictive on what dining out or takeaway options would be available. This would rule out a significant other with an eating disorder for me. It might not for a friend I could go for drinks with instead.

I think it’s jealousy in some cases. It makes some people envious, that there are other people who are not bothered by food!

Not threatened in the slightest. What do you mean by that?

Really? Why would someone, other than maybe someone who is 600lb, be jealous of someone who is indifferent to food?

Some people feel envious or frustrated when others can eat without stress, guilt, or obsession.

Because they are not concerned or consumed by it. People do seem to spend a lot of time thinking about food.

Don't worry - I wouldn't want you investing any of your social energy on me. That transactional approach to friendship isn't for me.

BTW I didn't pick up on it earlier but when I looked back I can see you refer to knowing 'enough normal people'. Newsflash, people like me are normal, just different to you. Don't be so rude.

It's a disorder. It doesn't make a person a bad person but its not the norm.

I have a couple of friends where we meet up a few times a year (we live in different parts of the country) and we take it in turns to choose where to eat. None of us have a bland palate so we are able to choose wherever we want (within a normal budget). So it could be Asian, Mexican, Spanish, we don’t have to run it past each other. That to me is my preference for eating companions. Having lunch together is a big part of our meet ups.

Define normal though? It was a rude comment.

Yes but you said jealous. Why jealous?

Or they could make their own.

Most people don't have AFRID. It is by definition then not the norm.

You're assuming someone like me would have an issue with that? That's the point I keep trying to make. I love going out for lunch with friends and will go wherever they choose. In fact, I hate it when people try to factor my preferences into a decision as they puts pressure on me and I still might not like everything the menu.
If you want to spend time with me then invite me and let me worry about what I will eat. It's really as simple, as that.

People have preferences around food and that's okay. Just stop being rude.